Friday, April 3, 2015

GOOD FRIDAY




Good Friday. Passover. Memorial. Easter.
Whatever your preference, whatever your belief (or non-belief), this is a special time of year. It harbors fond memories and generates warm thoughts. The arrival of spring, rebirth, resurgence. A sense of freshness, purity, and optimism.

As a diehard  romantic and absolute sentimentalist, I've always loved the Easter season and the sense of spirituality and personal serenity that it evokes. 

Unfortunately, the unrelenting harshness of the past few years and all the personal agonies that I've endured (most of which I've never revealed in my blog) have extracted my spirit and soul and have rendered me with an abstract feeling of absolute nothingness.

I still try to maintain a sense of humor (imperative for survival) and a feeble smidgen of optimism - but the vibrant self that I once knew is gone. This doesn't have anything to do with growing older. It has to do with becoming emotionally numb and spiritually stagnant. The flame is extinguished. I no longer care. I'm completely drained.

I often write about my exciting and wildly adventurous past simply to remind myself that I was once vibrantly alive. I reflect on my life with complete astonishment when I remember the person I used to be and the things I have done.

This is probably annoyingly somber and perplexing to read. No need for sympathy or analyzation. I'm simply in one of my many dark moods. Brooding. Self-absorbed. Unduly introspective. It's a Hungarian thing.

Spell Check just informed me that the word "analyzation" doesn't exist. I say screw them.

It's 4:00 a.m. and I haven't been to bed yet. Been up all night, drinking coffee, and trying to revise two of my books for republication. Thunder is rumbling in the distance. A brisk wind is blowing through the tops of the tall trees, like a great chorus of agitated whispers.

Thunderstorms are predicted and expected to flourish all day. I have to drive to town to get groceries, and perhaps go to the bank (it closes early today). But I need to get some sleep first.

Good Friday. Storms. Depression. Sleeplessness. The beginning of the Easter Weekend. I want to buy something good for Easter. A ham? A cake? A chocolate bunny? Lilies??
Cat litter for sure. My trio of felines will thank me. 

For absolutely no reason (except for your listening pleasure, of course) I'm posting a YouTube video that I made a few years ago.
The lacrimosa from Mozart's Requiem. It's seems appropriate for today. 

Spell Check just informed me that "lacrimosa" doesn't exist. Bull Shit. Latin might be a dead language, but it exists.

Few people ever bother to watch my YouTube videos, but if you do - watch it in full screen mode. Makes a better impact.

 

 

17 comments:

  1. Have a quiet and relaxing weekend.

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    1. Once I get some sleep I'll be relaxed, refreshed, and delightfully depressed.

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  2. No lilies! Every part of the plant is toxic to cats, causing life-threatening kidney damage. As for other means of celebrating - I bought a small ham steak and am calling it Easter dinner, along with some refrigerator-weary asparagus I have around. Enjoy the weekend, whatever you do (or don't). But no lilies!

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    1. I never knew lilies were poisonous for cats. I used to buy Easter lilies when I only had one cat, and she never touched them. I wouldn't risk it now that I have two young, curious, adventurous cats.

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    2. Well, then, I'm glad I commented. After the winter you had, you certainly don't need to deal with a sick (or possibly dying) cat. Happy springtime!

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  3. PS - As a retired veterinary technician, I have, in fact, had my rabies shot(s). So do your worst!

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  4. Jon,
    This is the time of your rebirth. Your move out of Texas to Tennessee was only the first step. A new life awaits you. More glorious that you could ever have imagined.
    Ron

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    1. You're right about that, Ron. Even though Texas sapped me of everything I had, at least I'm out of there - and in a much better place. I finally have peace and that's priceless.

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  5. God bless you and happy Easter.

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    1. Have a wonderful Texas Easter, Paula!

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  6. I looked up analyzation in my Reader's Digest Encyclopedic Dictionary and it is an acceptable noun. Have a Good Friday, Jon.

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    1. Glad to know analyzation exists. I sure as heck need it.

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    2. I just weighed Reader's Digest Encyclopedic Dictionary in the bathroom. It's 7 pounds. My mother bought it for me 50 years ago. Plot's weak but the vocabulary is amazing.

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  7. My heart be still. I am intoxicated with delight at the notion that wind blowing through the trees is "a great chorus of agitated whispers". Beautifully put. I too, say avoid the flowers and save your kitties. Buy a cake instead, perhaps a CARROT cake. Stay safe in all those storms. HAPPY EASTER.

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    1. After I wrote this post, I quickly reread it - - and I really liked "a great chorus of agitated whispers". It sounds poetic. I'm glad you like it, too.
      Hey, I'd rather have a cake than flowers, anyway.....

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  8. OK, I’m struggling over here to avoid expressing compassion or worse, false cheer.
    ...At the same time, I’ve chill-bumps, realizing how alike we are. Only you have such a perfect way of putting it. And I've no Hungarian blood.

    Please, go buy something totally decadent for yourself!

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  9. I'm delighted to know that somebody can identify with my feelings. I often think that I'm completely alone. Even during the best of times I've never been unduly happy or optimistic. I'll buy something decadent - - and it won't have anything to do with flowers or cats. Maybe some chocolates.

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I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.