RED FLAG WARNING:
I'M IN A FOUL MOOD
This could be offensive
I spent an hour the other night writing a new blog post entitled Love, Marriage, and Other Atrocities. I thought it was good. I had a strong feeling, however, that others might find it offensive. My unconventional mode of thinking and anti-marriage sentiments were likely to infuriate everyone - - especially since gays are presently giddy over the fact that they can now legally marry nationwide. I've always been staunchly opposed to marriage - - straight, gay, and Martian - - and I stated my personal reasons why.
Since it's never my intention to offend (well not much, anyway), and since I'm not in the mood to stir up controversy, I've reluctantly put the post on a back burner.
Most of my regular readers have tough hides and always politely endure my inane rants. They realize that much of what I write is tongue-in-cheek (nothing sexual implied). They know that my bark is far worse than my bite and that - underneath the faux bravura - is an innocuous sweetheart. Newer readers, however, might be unduly sensitive and more easily offended.
I often try to place a filter between my words and my readers, which dilutes the potentially lethal potency (and also dilutes my freedom of speech). I try to curb my caustic wit and reduce the blackness of my humor (no racial puns intended). It's not always easy.
I usually steer away from controversial subjects like politics, religion, and sex - especially gay sex. When writing about my shockingly sordid past I very often omit scalding details and incorporate subtle buffers - - which encourage readers to delve between the lines (although lately I've become a little more open, such as in my post Boulevard of Haunted Dreams or in the last part of Ashes ).
If the links don't work, you can find them on my sidebar.
So - - - in essence - -
I avoid the subject of sex because I don't want to shock my relatives or be the cause of cardiac arrest..
I steer clear of religion, so as not to upset the atheists among us.
I don't dare mention politics, because - to put it bluntly - 99% of my readers are in direct opposition to my political views.
I never delve into the realms of environmental issues, because some of my personal friends are
When I had my old blog Lone Star Concerto, half a dozen readers dropped me because I bashed Hillary Clinton. Two sweet old ladies fled in one day (ironically, they are both still here in Blogland, leaving adoring comments on other people's blogs).
Before abandoning me, one of the ladies left a caustic comment in which - among other things - she said that I was heartless and advised me to "undergo sensitivity training."
Sensitivity training? WTF???
Hey, I'm one of the most sensitive, sweet, easy-going, caring, compassionate guys around.
That old bitch can take her opinion and shove it where the sun don't shine.
(you can't see me, but I'm grinning like the Cheshire cat)
So, what's left to write about? Not much.
In the hyper-sensitive environment of our politically correct society, most subjects are now taboo. I'm reduced to talking about the bugs in my back yard and the incessant rain that inspired the weeds to grow ten feet. Fortunately, I have a knack for making boring things incredibly interesting.
You'd never know it by reading this blog post, would you?
I suppose I shouldn't mention that I'm really pissed over the present attempt to ban the Confederate flag. In a humble (and partially innocent) protest, I dug the above photo out of my files. It was taken when I first moved to Texas. I was in the process of unpacking my things and I happened to find a nearly-forgotten Confederate flag. When I took it outside to shake off years of dust, a sudden gust of Texas wind caught it like a sail - - and somebody snapped the photo.
I'm even more angry with that liberal NYC film critic Lou Lumenick, who recently called for the ban of Gone With the Wind because the concept of the Confederate flag (among other things) upset him.
Hey, Louie Boy, here's a flash:
It took a helluva lot more talent to write GWTW than it does to criticize it. You Libs are constantly trying to mess with our private lives, but you're not going to mess with our American classics.
You'd better not come anywhere near Tennessee (not that you'd ever want to) because if I ever see you I'm gonna roll up my Confederate flag and implant it firmly in your puckered derriere - - and I have no doubt that you'd enjoy it.
Do you feel better now, Jon?
Hell, no. "Sensitivity training", my ass!
After reading this blog post, I'm sure that most of my readers will drop me.
The only ones left will be Myra. And Geo. (because he's incredibly polite). And TarryTerre.
And maybe Ron - because he has good taste (even though he's a Lib).
Most of the gay guys will flee.
Hey, dudes, come back! I don't give a damn if you're married! I'm on your side! I've got rainbow tattoos to prove it! Wanna see them?