Tuesday, July 7, 2015

FUN WITH FURNITURE

I'll begin with a word of advice to all bloggers: 

Never post a good blog entry on a holiday. Nobody will read it. I posted a good blog entry on the 4th of July. Nobody read it.
Well, a few of the coveted faithful read it (many thanks for your valued and continued patronage).

So, Jon - - how was your Independence Day?

Wet. Sopping wet. Miserably wet. Eternally wet. I never knew that this much rain could fall in one place. It didn't seem like the 4th of July. In fact, it didn't seem like July at all. I had no inspiration or motivation to celebrate. I cooked hot dogs and had baked potatoes and pound cake. I also had a watermelon but decided not to cut it yet.

 I watched a 1978 performance of Carmen with Elena Obraztsova and Placido Domingo, conducted by Carlos Kleiber. Superb. Absolutely superb, it was the highlight of my weekend......this is available on YouTube, in case you care.

....but Franco Zeffirelli's stage production was a little drab. He did much better with Tosca and Cavalleria Rusticana (incidentally, Obraztsova was also in the Zeffirelli Rusticana).

We don't give a damn about opera Jon. What's with the furniture fun?

Hey, Kemo Sabe, you haven't lived until you've seen Don Jose kill Carmen.

The furniture incident happened yesterday, when I foolishly decided to move a very heavy dresser from one room to another (from one end of the house to another). It's made out of real, solid wood (not pasteboard) and is nearly as tall as myself.

Exactly how heavy is it, Jon?



It's Jumbo heavy.       It's Devine heavy.  

 It's Honey Boo Boo heavy.
(I knew you'd like that one)

It was an insane idea - considering the fact that I'm not nearly as young as I think I am, and it takes all my strength just to lift one of the cat's litter boxes. 

So I'm struggling with the dresser, moving it inch by agonizing inch through the house. I'm straining my muscles, pulverizing my back. I'm sweating like a Hot Pocket sandwich in a microwave.

I finally make it through the kitchen and dining area. This is where it gets tricky. There's about a six inch drop from the dining area into the hallway. It's kinda like a sunken living room, only it's a sunken hallway. I have to maneuver the dresser down into the hallway and make a very sharp left turn into my bedroom. With only one person doing the work, it's a near impossibility.

And I'm barefooted. If the dresser lands on my toes, they're toast. If I accidentally let go of the dresser, it will smash into the wall.

It takes ten minutes for me to finally get the damn thing into the hallway, but in the process part of the wood breaks off on the bottom of the dresser.

Now it's wedged in the narrow hall and I have to literally climb over it to open my bedroom door.
dresser wedged in hallway
near my bedroom door

My bedroom door was closed for a reason. I had Bosco and Scruffy in there so they wouldn't bother the hell out of me while I was moving the dresser. When I open the door they immediately run out and start bothering the hell out of me.

Scruffy dives under the dresser, through the hole where the wood is missing. Bosco simply lays down in front of it, blocking the entrance to the bedroom. If I try to move the dresser now, I'll probably kill both cats (which isn't a bad idea). 

 Scruffy playing under the dresser via the broken wood

 I finally use persuasive charm to corral the cats in another room. Then I exhaust the last of my strength pushing the dresser into the bedroom, while nearly ripping up the carpet in the process.

Well, you probably guessed it. I hate the dresser in my bedroom. It adds to the clutter and looks out of place.
But, I'm sure as hell not going to attempt to move it again. It's staying right where it is.
End of story. 

 Final resting place. I have no desire to move it again.
(that's sunlight from the window illuminating lower left)

 
 Here's a very bizarre photo that I took in the hallway. What the heck is that white streak??
It looks like an entity has escaped from the dresser and shot up towards the sky. Did I somehow release a demon? Or is it just a dirty camera lens? Was that a sign of my inner frustrations??

Do you believe in ghosts?

22 comments:

  1. First off what the hell were you thinking moving that heavy dresser BAREFOOT. Not a good idea. Thank goodness it did not fall on top of your feet. Of course with boots on you probably would have broken something too? I am thrilled that Scruffy and Bosco were not maimed by it. A shame the dresser lost a part of itself in route, though. Can you glue it back in place or is it a lost cause? It is a lovely piece of furniture, by the way. However, there is no doubt in my mind, some supernatural phenomena occured as you were snapping that picture. Hopefully the ghost is friendly and will prove useful around the house if you should move this dresser again. Meanwhile rest your back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always seem to do insanely dangerous things. I certainly realized the risks but I was too lazy to put on my boots. The broken piece of wood fits perfectly, so I will be able to repair it with wood glue.

      As for ghosts and/or spirits, I do believe in them because I've had some VERY REAL firsthand experiences. I probably wouldn't be a believer if I didn't. I have no clue what that thing is in the photo, but it's very weird. I snapped the photo at a moment when I was experiencing extreme frustration - - maybe my frustration manifested itself via camera. Strange.......

      Delete
  2. Well, holy cow! I don't know where to start - though maybe NOT with your talk about killing cats (or ANY animals, for that matter), as it presses extremely distressing buttons for me However, I'll let that go as an untypical passing 'blip'.

    I saw Placido Domingo as Don Jose in the year prior to your experience, at the Edinburgh Festival - the Carmen there was Teresa Berganza, and she certainly brought, erm, 'weight' to the role. The Michaela was Mirella Freni who, when it came to the curtain calls, was all dimpling faux-modesty as she, with mock surprise, adoringly picked up the flowers strewn at her. I think the conductor was Abbado, and I must say that it was a superb production despite very riskily being entirely performed behind a sand-coloured gauze curtain, which shouldn't have worked but did.

    As for the rest of the matters you address..............well, dunno really. May have to come back another time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ray, Ray, Ray, I was only jesting about killing the cats (maybe.....). They have the run of the house and even when they're naughty I still love them. They actually bring a lot of humor into my life.Which I desperately need.

      I remember seeing Mirella Freni in a live production of Butterfly long ago.
      There have been a lot of bad recent productions of Carmen. I saw one where nearly everybody in the first act was dressed like clowns. It looked like a parody of Circ de Soleil. I have always been fiercely partial to tradition. I don't like productions to stray very far from original intent. I've never seen Carmen performed behind a gauze curtain.

      Domingo was at the height of his vocal power in this production. Obraztsova is not the best Carmen I've ever seen, but she was good. Do you have any personal favorite Carmens?

      Delete
    2. Carmen is one of my very favourite operas of all, Jon, maybe THE favourite of all (I say that warily, with 'Fidelio' looking over my shoulder). I've too seen some totally outlandish productions - including one where the Michaela was blind! I left after the second act, and this wasn't the only reason I did. Like you, I can take imaginative interpretations of a piece that's really become something of a war-horse, though there are limits! It's odd that Carmen appeals to me despite incorporating themes of animal killing - and just for entertainment too! - as well as smoking (another bugbear of mine). I do so dislike it when on stage the tobacco factory women and the soldiers do actually smoke in reality. (Yes, I know that one of the very early numbers praises the rising smoke!) But, in spite of everything, the glorious tunes just keep coming, one after another. You'll know that another of the tragedies of music history is that the composer never got to know how big his opera was to become, his depression at its failure said to have contributed to his early death (another 30s exit!). And even apart from his Carmen, Bizet certainly had the gift of finding a good 'tune'. Yet another sad, too-early loss!

      I don't have a particular favourite in the role. My only complete recording is still the Maria Callas of the mid 1960s, loathed by many but liked by some, including me, though even by then she was getting on to be a bit too old for the part. I think it's an opera I'd prefer to listen to rather than to watch - but that's true of many an opera, I find, as I advance in years.

      Btw: I'm vastly reassured by the opening para in your comment above - though we'll gloss over that word in parentheses, as it'll keep haunting me otherwise.

      Delete
  3. Your cats were just doing what cats do best, bother their owner. As for ghost, I don't believe in them until I see one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cats are extraordinarily good at torturing their owners.

      Delete
  4. Couldn't you just have paid two local lads $20 to muscle it into your bedroom? Or am I being too simple? Are you so far out of civilization that local muscle isn't available? You know that you're going to move it back at some point don't you? I suspect that you may well employ some help!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, if I ever pay local muscle to come into my bedroom, it sure as hell won't be to move furniture (I'm just trying to be funny - - I couldn't resist).

      Delete
  5. You can buy little fuzzy pads to put under the legs to move things and they slide nicely. One even come with a little lifter to raise it enough to slide the pads under the feet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those pads would be good on an obstacle-free course, but I don't think they'd work in all the angles, nooks, and crannies that I have to deal with.

      Delete
  6. Where I come from we call that a chest of drawers, which usually sounds like chest a'drawers. :-) It's time to give your back a break. Take care , Sheila

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Believe it or not, I was debating between "dresser" and "chest of drawers". Actually, I erroneously call it a "cabinet".

      Delete
  7. When I was learning to talk we called that piece of furniture a highboy. When I asked for things like scissors or an indoor moon, my mother would say, "Can't find it? Go look in the highboy." I can talk now but still don't know where anything is. The white object leaving a streak in your photo is our planet's second moon, which orbits Earth at an elevation of 3 feet. Yours is the only known picture of it. Obviously it had been lost in your highboy. Leave a window open a bit and it will find its way out.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I remember the term "highboy" but never exactly knew what it was. I initially thought it was a catch-all phrase for anything I couldn't reach. Old phrases are difficult to abandon. My father called a refrigerator an "ice box" his entire life.

    As for the photo, I never knew that moons could orbit that low. Must be a Limbo Moon. I think the National Enquirer would be very interested,

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a handsome piece of furniture! I wonder if changing its hardware might make it more appealing? I don't see any of the 'clutter' you mention ... but I suspect that's intentional.

    Yes, I believe in other-worldly apparitions/ghosts/what-have-you's. Perhaps this, a harbinger of goodwill? (About time, wouldn't you say?)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think that only shrinking it would make at more appealing. Actually it doesn't look too bad in the room - and I could always summon the courage to move it to a different corner of the room (I think).

    Hey, I can use all the goodwill that I can get.
    I do believe in spirits, ghosts, etc. because I have had a few very real experiences in the distant past that made me a believer.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jon, just to let you know that coupla hours ago I wrote a follow-up response to your comment on my 'Scientology' blog. (I don't want it to be wasted!)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I don't know if you did
    but, taking the drawers out
    makes it lighter
    if, you ever move it again
    hi Scruffy :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's a good idea, but the drawers don't come out of this one. They're permanently installed.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jon,
    You are so funny! Your cats were only trying to "help." They probably thought you were playing with the dresser. Seriously though, couldn't you get those saucer "things" and put under the dresser to move it? You can get them at Home Depot or Lowes. Put about four of them under the heavy points at the bottom of the dresser and the dresser will slide across the floor with ease. Try them with your next move (which I know there will be one).
    Ron

    ReplyDelete

I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.