Friday, October 16, 2015

KINDLE, PUSSIES. HARPO, AND OTHER IRRITANTS



 Back yard in the morning fog


Just as I had initially anticipated, my post entitled Elizabeth Taylor's Pussy and Other Delights rattled a few people.

Let's all step back a moment and consider this rationally. My blog readers (all three of them) consist mostly of my relatives and virtuous Midwest Baptist ladies......(and a few perceptive gay guys who can read between the lines).....

Do you really think I would insult my fans (all four of them) by posting smut? I admittedly have a dirty mind - - and I've done things in the past that would made the Marquis de Sade revolve in his grave - - but I like my blog to remain untarnished. 
Or reasonably untarnished. 
Trust me - if I ever wrote what I really think, my six readers would abandon me. Or is it five?

Are we seeing any humor here?

No, Jon, but keep trying.

I try to select post titles that will generate interest. Boring titles such as Regrets (one of my recent posts) generate no interest whatsoever.  

I would love to have 650,000 followers (like some fortunate bloggers), but it was never meant to be. My only consolation is that the few people who faithfully read my blog have incredibly good taste.

So, what about Harpo?
Well, my face is red - and I don't blush easily. I want to thank Ron (a link to Ron) for pointing out the blunder in my Taylor's Pussy post. 

I had said that Barbara Marx left her husband Harpo to marry Frank Sinatra. 
Barbara Marx was in fact married to Zeppo - not Harpo. I had completely forgotten that it was Zeppo.
Harpo Marx was never divorced.

I love alert readers. It means they're paying attention.

......but if ALL of you start pointing out my errors, I'll consider putting a Hungarian curse on you......

Kindle?
Don't get me started. When it comes to ANYTHING concerning Kindle, I am completely clueless. Completely.
I have been trying for days to transform my published poetry book into a Kindle edition (yes, I corrected all three typos) with absolutely no luck.

And yes, I've read all of the tutorials and other helpful articles - - and they aren't helpful. And I'm starting to get mean and seriously irritated. You can take your PDF, Docx, and HTML files and shove them.

To be perfectly blunt, I know a few blooming idiots who have published Kindle books (I'm serious), so there should be hope for me. 

I know the entire libretti of Wagner's Gotterdammerung in German....... and I've overhauled the engine on a pickup truck. You'd think I could conquer a frickin' Kindle conversion.

Enough said.

Any more complaints, Jon?

Yes. I'm really pissed off at Blogspot Comment Moderation. I enabled it solely to get rid of spammers (they are attracted to me like magnets).
Instead, it has been blocking some of my faithful readers (all three of them).
Sorry about that.
And a Hungarian Pox on spammers. 

I drove into town yesterday and saw the damage to City Hall. The driver (who was being chased by police) crashed directly through the front door. Bullseye! I congratulate him for having perfect aim during a harrowing situation.

It's a chilly October night. Perfect for snuggling up with a hot cup of tea and a book of ghost stories. Supposed to get down to freezing on Saturday night. I'll soon be getting into my Halloween mode, posting scary stuff.

.....as if this wasn't scary enough.....

 Thursday Afternoon

 Despite being a housebound cat for ten years, my eldest feline Scratch now insists on going outdoors.

 Shadow People on the premises.
It's a shadow selfie, me in a cowboy hat. (my ass isn't really that big, the shadow is distorted). 


Some of the trees have already shed all their leaves.

27 comments:

  1. Okay, I've got to ask. Is that really true about you and 'Goetterdaemmerung'?

    Oh, and btw: Your picture of Scratch is the cherry at the pinnacle of this posting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I was a young music student in Los Angeles I studied Wagner intensely and knew a lot of the Ring Cycle in German. The original language, of course, is much more beautiful than any translation. In more recent years, my muddled mind isn't what it used to be. I often marvel at the things I did long ago.

      This isn't the best photo of Scratch. I took it quickly while she wasn't moving. I'll post better kitty photos in the future. And I'm glad you appreciate them.

      Delete
    2. I knew that this composer wrote his own libretti but it's interesting to hear that you consider his language as 'beautiful'. I hadn't expected it to be especially noteworthy but you may well be right. I'll have to give it a considered look. At least it'll be a good reason to suspend the fading away to nothing of my once satisfactory prowess in Deutsch. (I've still got 'Der Tod in Venedig' to finish. Never quite managed to get passed the first half dozen pages.)

      Pussy pics are ALWAYS appreciated here, Jon - most especially from front when they're either wide-eyed with curiosity or nodding off with a sleepy 'smile' on their ineffably cute visages.

      Delete
  2. I ain't no relative, nor a midwest baptist. perhaps scratch sees that the outside is peaceful now. and were you outside naked taking that selfie (inquiring minds wanna know)? you do NOT have a fat ass, but I DO!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, I was fully clothed when I took the shadow selfie. If I had been naked, the shadow would have looked a helluva lot better.
      Scratch seems to love romping in the wilderness, but I keep a close eye on her when she's outdoors.

      Delete
  3. Oh my gosh, Scratch looks as if she's another (black) cat woven onto her back! ... perchance, a bear cub with really puffy ears. (Humor me, Jon ... I've not consumed enough coffee yet this morning.)

    Sorry I'm of no help re. your techno challenges ... I'm terminally phobic that way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Believe it or not, I can definitely see the bear cub with puffy ears on Scratch's back. And I haven't had any coffee - - or beer. I've never noticed it before. Perhaps it is the mark of The Beast.......

      Idiots have conquered Kindle - - and so will I.

      Delete
  4. Excellent photos, Jon. The quantity of Marx Bros. is unfixed figure in my mind. I do immediately think of Groucho, Harpo and Chico --then afterwards recall Zeppo, but must strain to remember Gummo. Still, after performing this mental feat, I feel like there might be more of them. Frank Sinatra wasn't a Marx Bro., was he?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Long ago I was a huge Marx Brothers fan. I frequented Marx Bros. film festivals at old "revival" movie theaters in Los Angeles.

      Lately, however, I haven't seen a Marx movie in years....and my memory is fading. I completely forgot about Zeppo and Gummo. I can only imagine how confused their mother Minnie must have been.

      I think Frank Sinatra was related to them somewhere in the distant past. His name was Franco (*smile*).

      Delete
  5. Wow! You've got bare trees already? I would have thought your trees would just be gearing up with some pretty colors about now. Ours are only showing the barest hint of color here and there, but I'm hoping we see some colors other than brown this year. Should. We've had plenty of rain.

    Formatting poetry properly for an e-version can be pretty tricky. If you're interested, the gal who did the formatting for our "Old Broads Waxing Poetic" anthology might be willing to help. Shoot me an email if you want me to put in a plug with her for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Last year when I first arrived here the fall foliage was spectacular. This year it's not too impressive - but perhaps it will be nicer towards the end of the month (I'm hoping....).

      I'm SLOWLY conquering my Kindle file problems (I'm always slow at figuring things out). If I need any assistance, I'll contact you. Many thanks.

      Delete
  6. Enjoyed the pussy pictures. I posted about guns and got 1 comment, 1? You have more then three fans, at least 4 or 5.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a relief to know that I have at least 4 or 5 fans......but if I keep posting pussies I might lose them.

      Delete
  7. Scratch is a beautiful cat. I wouldn't mind seeing more cat pictures anytime.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Scratch truly is beautiful - she looks better in real than on photos. But she's getting fat in her "old" age.

      Delete
  8. I like your
    halloween clock
    and
    KITZEE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, you're the only one who mentioned the clock! I eliminated the hourly chime because it usually scare the hell out of me.

      And I always call her KITZEE, not Scratch. She responds to that name and seems to like it.

      Delete
  9. I hate it when the leaves start to falling. Last week I had 10 bags of pine straw and leave and work three days cleaning yards and the next day they were covered again. I'm going to wait another week and let them all fall. You have a pretty view and your Kitzee wants to enjoy it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jean, when I lived in Texas my neighbors had gigantic trees and ALL the leaves would blow directly in my yard - every single one of them. Raking leaves is a nightmare.

      Delete
  10. Hey Jon,
    I was hesitant to correct on the Barbara Marx marriage but trivia like that is my weakness. I'm often annoying in correcting people with my useless trivia knowledge, especially about entertainers.
    About your blog popularity, for those who don't know of or read your blog, they don't know what they're missing. You are so honest and interesting. I only wish I could find more blogs like yours but I cannot. Dr. Spo's comes close. There are a few other blogger of interest but there is no one like you Jon. NO ONE.
    I find it fascinating that you have such a large following of middle aged farm ladies. I think it's cute. I don't rule out the possibility that sometime in the future you and one of those ladies may become friends in real life. I have a few of those ladies following my blog and I find them very nice.
    By the way, I wasn't offend by your "pussy" post. More!

    Ron

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ron, I'm really glad that you mentioned my Marx error. I had COMPLETELY forgotten about Zeppo. I usually know a lot about Hollywood trivia, but my muddled mind is obviously fading.

      I'm always delighted when you say how much you enjoy my blog. It means a lot to know that I'm appreciated. I truly try to be as honest as possible.

      Actually, it was one of my old, personal California friends who wasn't too pleased with the "pussy" title. I guess you can't please everyone.....

      Delete
    2. Jon,
      I do so enjoy your blog posts as I am sure many hundreds (and thousands?) do. One thing I have found, most readers do not post comments which is alright by me. Of course I like to see a lot of comments but I understand if some don't post. And I see my longtime friend Larry commented below. You two poets should get together. And Larry is also a cat lover like you. He's a good guy.
      Ron

      Delete
  11. Jon,

    Okay, I don't really fit the description of those few followers you claim, so obviously you have a couple more. I do not have 650,000 readers either, I think maybe Ron does. I will also confess I have been constantly foiled in trying to load one of my ebooks up to iBooks, even though it claims to be simple to do and I thought I followed all the directions and helpful hints, and I even had a lot of years working in this blasted tech world.

    Hope you are now having a relaxing time of ghost stories. Who knows perhaps one of my long ago horrors will resurface.

    Larry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, we might have fewer followers, but at least our followers are faithful. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who has had trouble with ebooks.. First I had to have a PDF fie, now I have to convert to PDF to HTML and the Kindle previewer isn't working. I'll eventually got it.....but it might take years......

      Delete
  12. I'm no Baptist. My parents raised me in the one and only RIGHT church, and it wasn't Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, etc. Of course, I'm no longer affiliated with that church, so sue me. I don't think the gay guys are the only ones to read between the lines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Baptist was the only religion that came to mind - - since Texas and Tennessee are loaded with them.

      I have a feeling that people have been reading between my lines for years.......

      Delete
  13. One of my kids could go on Mastermind about Harpo Marx and she'd have spotted the error in a flash. Since I didn't remember all she had told me, I didn't notice it. :)

    ReplyDelete

I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.