Sunday, November 29, 2015

BIZARRE ACCIDENT




 Bosco is the star of my story
but not the hero


I've often said that I never have to fabricate stories for my blog because fact is more interesting (and stranger) than fiction. I have a prime example to tell today.

Come to think of it, my entire life has been filled with bizarre stories. I am either the unfortunate victim of an irreversible evil curse, or I was simply created for the amusement of the Gods.

It's never my deliberate intention to drag out stories to agonizing lengths, but I probably will. Please bear with me. 

I've had a hectic weekend, bordering on rotten. Despite living here for a year (I moved in on Thanksgiving, 2014) I'm still very unsettled. There's a heckuva lot of work yet to be done and I'm extraordinarily slow at tackling it. Life in the wilderness is wonderful, but MUCH more trouble than my city-boy mentality ever imagined. I also have health issues that I never mention in my blog (it's extremely unbecoming to bitch)
and....I'll admit it.....
living with three feisty cats in a small place ain't easy. 

Cats......cats.....here's where my bizarre story begins.

I felt really rotten last night. Couldn't sleep. Pent-up stress eventually induced an anxiety attack (nothing new - - anxiety and I are roommates).

Cut to the chase, Jon.


Okay, I crawled into bed somewhere around dawn. Bosco (my male cat) always sleeps on my bed. No problem. When Bosco's not sleeping, he loves to sit atop the tall chest of drawers next to my bed. It's his favorite place to be.

His habitual way of accessing his favorite perch is to leap onto the headboard of my bed and then jump up onto the chest of drawers. He always does this gracefully and effortlessly.


 Bosco and his big ass

This morning he encountered a problem. Major malfunction. 

I had just drifted off to sleep when Bosco attempted his Nijinsky leap. He missed the headboard and landed directly (and I mean DIRECTLY) on my face. He panicked, tried to scramble, and crashed into my face again.

I initially didn't know what hit me - but I literally saw stars and birdies. It was like a knockout punch in the third round. Bosco is very heavy and his claws are razor sharp. He ravaged the entire left side of my face with his claws.

One of his paws gouged my left eye and I truly thought he ripped my eyeball out.

I stumbled to the bathroom, trembling and scared witless to look in the mirror.
Bosco did one helluva number on me.
The entire left side of my face was covered in blood. Blood was in my left eye and oozing from my mustache.

It took over half an hour for me to staunch the blood and assess the damage. My eye was okay but there are two vicious cuts a fraction from it - one above and one in the corner.

All in all, I have seven (count 'em) nasty gashes on the left side of my face. I look like the loser in a barroom brawl. My face hurts and burns but at least I still have my eye.

Holy shit - - it will take some time to heal.   

I wasn't angry with Bosco because he didn't intend to do it. He was actually as shocked and surprised as I was. Bosco is a very gentle and timid cat. He simply lost his footing (perhaps he needs glasses?).

I'm always amazed at how big and heavy Bosco is. I had him (and Scruffy) since they were first born - and both kittens were so frail and sickly that I doubted they would live. 

Hopefully this bizarre and ugly incident will never repeat itself. Perhaps I should wear a hockey goalie mask when I'm sleeping.




 Here's Bosco when he was a tiny sickly tyke in Texas. Ironically, he's standing on my bed headboard - - the same one where he attempted to make his flying leap this morning.

My other blog:
http://cabinetofcurioustreasures.blogspot.com 
 

26 comments:

  1. Reading the things you write here make me very glad I don’t have any cats, or dogs either. Pets sound like very much more trouble and expense than they are worth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It takes a special kind of love and tolerance to be a pet owner - - and you have to learn to roll with the punches (admittedly, some punches are worse than others)
      For me, the positives far outweigh the negatives. I'd much rather have pets than children, and I sometimes prefer being around cats than people.

      Delete
  2. I hope bosco didn't hurt himself either. he has grown into a fine cat.

    now YOU clean yourself up and take it easy. it's amazing how sharp kitty claws can be (I have leg scratches from gigi to prove it).

    as for anonymous above, screw you. I bet you are a PITA also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BEWARE OF FLYING CATS!
      Those sharp kitty claws are very dangerous. I've been scratched many times but never had my face mauled. It was scary.

      Delete
  3. From early childhood, we boys learn things from cats we can learn in no other way --and bear scratches. I'm sorry to learn it was your turn this time. Even the smartest, most graceful and affectionate of cats, upon miscalculating a landing is overtaken with panic and idiocy. I'm sure Bosco is as sorry as a cat can be --which may not be very much by our standard of remorse but I am experienced enough to avoid further research.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geo, having a fat cat land on your face when you're sleeping gives new meaning to the word "surprise". I'm sure Bosco is sorry (in his own feline way) - - I just hope there is never a repeat performance.

      Delete
  4. Oh my gosh Jon what an accident !. One that only can happen with cats around but a cat lover is a cat lover. I wish you could see the litter box my son-in-law made for their cats. It's a bench with the litter box closed in underneath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your son-in-law's invention sounds unique and I'd like to see it. Who knows - it might turn out to be a profitable invention.
      My ideal litter box would be
      self-cleaning
      odor-free
      and invisible

      Delete
  5. Yikes ... that's an accident for the record books! Thank God one of Bosco's nails didn't connect with your eyeball!

    Not sure if you've tried this - or if you're interested, even - but when I used to experience anxiety attacks, a well-meaning friend (i.e., herbologist, tree hugger) got me to taking something called Valerian Root. Doesn't put one to sleep necessarily, but takes the edge off nicely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've had anxiety attacks much of my life and have (usually) learned to control them - but sometimes they return with a vengeance.

      I've used valerian since I was in my early 20's and I like it - - but I haven't had any since I moved to TN. I'll look for it next time I drive to town - - I'm sure Walmart will have it in the pharmacy

      Delete
  6. Jon,

    Ah yes, those of us who dwell with cats know the joy and the agony. I have suffered many the slings and arrows of those claws. There was the time two of them got into a spat upon my head...so I sympathize with you pain and suffering, but am also glad the cat is all right. I guess you'll have to sleep with your head under the pillow to be safe.

    Larry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As much as I love cats, their scratches and bites can be very nasty. I've never had a cat land on my face before - - and I can only imagine what two feuding felines would be like on my head!!

      Delete
  7. Glad to hear your eye wasn't scratched and I hope you make a speedy recovery. Bosco loves you and I'm sure he's sorry. And, it's known that people with pets live longer and are generally happier than those who don't have any.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually think these three felines have shortened my iife span (*smile*), but they are great company. Cats can be extremely affectionate and entertaining.....(and dangerous when they're flying).

      Delete
  8. Oh. Lordy! What a nasty turn for poor you and for poor Bosco! Could have been exceptionally nasty - a narrow scrape, one might almost say.
    I feel a bit nervous whenever picking up my Blackso, always so affectionate, but also highly strung that he lashes out with claws unsheathed when startled, at whatever happens to be closest to him - which one day could well be my carotid!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Al three of my cats are very affectionate and loving - - but my ten-year-old Kitzee (also known as Scratch) can occasionally get nasty for apparently no reason. Fortunately her tantrums never last long.
      Cat claws can be extremely dangerous (especially when a feline lands on your face).

      One thing for certain - life is never dull when residing with cats.

      Delete
    2. Your final observation is but so true.

      Delete
  9. Poor you Jon... I hope that the healing process is swift. Poor Bosco too... must have been quite a shock for you both. As far pets or no pets... I miss having a pet to dote on hugely. I haven't taken the plunge again.... yet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pets require a lot of responsibility, but a household seems incomplete without them.

      Delete
  10. Upon reading of the second crash to your face, I gasped and nervously laughed causing a massive coughing session and renewed wheezing. I was thinking you needed to wear something on your face. At least both of you survived although you apparently need to heal a bit. Has Bosco seen your face? I wonder if he knows he did the damage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry to hear that I caused a massive coughing session, but at least you coughed between smiles.
      If Bosco has any remorse, he's doing a good job of concealing it....

      Delete
  11. Oh, this is awful! I am sorry to hear about this, Jon, but what a relief that your eye is OK. I think maybe an answer might be to move the bed so that he doesn't even think about making that leap again. It might be that he is losing his youthful energy a bit - just enough to make him miss his mark ....


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My eye still hurts and feels strange, but I have my vision and it seems to be okay. I think moving the bed (or, more likely, the chest of drawers) would be the best solution - or locking Bosco out of the room when I sleep.

      Bosco's less than two years old (he looks older), so I don't think he has yet lost his youthful energy (but I sure have.....).

      Delete
  12. Oh my! Glad you're ok! I had a boyfriend years ago that had scars, on his face, from a cat. His sister threw the cat on his face when they were kids!!
    James

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    1. How horrible! Cat claws are extremely dangerous. I love cats, but I don't think it's a good idea to have children around them.

      Delete
  13. OUCH! That doesn't sound like any fun at all. I try to keep our kitties' nails trimmed. They aren't crazy about me taking the clippers to them every week, but it beats them clawing me by accident while going into their "kneading" routines.

    I hope you put peroxide on those scratches.

    ReplyDelete

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