but today I'll make an exception.
In the spirit of the holiday season I'm offering some Christmas record albums that are certain to warm your heart.
You won't thank me when it shits in your hands.
I initially thought these were two dudes, until I looked closely and saw that they're wearing June Cleaver strands of faux pearls
What's worse than a singing Santa?
A singing Santa with accordion accompaniment
Memphis??
Looks more like Christmas in Chicago
.....and that's exactly where Dinkins belongs....
Looks like too much of a good thing
I'm making these captions up very quickly as I go along, without any thought....and it's painfully obvious.....
Those front teeth aren't the only problems- - this kid needs an ophthalmologist
A finger-licking, grease-dripping Christmas
no comment necessary
It's rather ironic that Twitty rhymes with shitty
Hanged for the holidays - - and not a moment too soon.
Finally! An album that my cats can relate to!
Trust me - - you'll need the wine......
The innocence of a candy cane has been forever expunged......
I've actually been in Tijuana on Christmas (no kidding). It's thirty years later and I still haven't fully recovered.
Glad tidings from Mrs. Mills.
Dear Lord, I'd rather be in Tijuana.
.....not to mention a bad album......
Cody, you can't borrow anything. I'm not answering the door.
Now I've seen everything.
Shoot me.
Please!
I can't wait to hear the brass version of Away in a Manger.
Last, but certainly not least
Memphis??
Looks more like Christmas in Chicago
.....and that's exactly where Dinkins belongs....
Looks like too much of a good thing
I'm making these captions up very quickly as I go along, without any thought....and it's painfully obvious.....
Those front teeth aren't the only problems- - this kid needs an ophthalmologist
A finger-licking, grease-dripping Christmas
no comment necessary
It's rather ironic that Twitty rhymes with shitty
Hanged for the holidays - - and not a moment too soon.
Finally! An album that my cats can relate to!
Trust me - - you'll need the wine......
The innocence of a candy cane has been forever expunged......
I've actually been in Tijuana on Christmas (no kidding). It's thirty years later and I still haven't fully recovered.
Glad tidings from Mrs. Mills.
Dear Lord, I'd rather be in Tijuana.
.....not to mention a bad album......
Cody, you can't borrow anything. I'm not answering the door.
Now I've seen everything.
Shoot me.
Please!
I can't wait to hear the brass version of Away in a Manger.
Last, but certainly not least
I'll have a new post on my other blog later today (probably much later). It's presently dawn and I haven't been to bed yet. I'm too tired to function.
Come to think of it - - I can hardly function even when I get sleep......
http://cabinetofcurioustreasures.blogspot.com
http://cabinetofcurioustreasures.blogspot.com
I just spewed coffee on my work computer screen. jon, you've don it again! sheer brilliance and genius here!
ReplyDeleteIf I can make someone spew coffee on their computer screen I consider my efforts a success. Your compliments are greatly appreciated.
DeleteActually, I really made myself laugh with this one - - and that ain't easy!
Loved it! Good old Mrs Mills - I haven't heard of her for years (thank the lord). As for Christmas at the organ... don't get me started.
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, I've never heard of Mrs. Mills. I had some great comments for the organ album and several others - but I wouldn't dare put them on a public blog.
DeleteYikes! Now I need some mental detergent to get that image of Richard Simmons out of my mind.
ReplyDeleteThese are soooo bad, but soooo funny!
Richard Simmons could easily turn a gay guy straight.
DeleteI love unintentional humor - and these albums are full of it (so to speak....).
I had lots of fun doing this.
Why does every musician (and some that could hardly be called musicians) feel compelled to put out a Christmas album? I'm amazed at some of the personalities and groups that I've found. I must say, however, that your list far surpasses mine.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I can't think of anyone who hasn't done a Christmas album (Well, we haven't seen a Christmas With Hitler album.....it's probably hidden away in the archives).
DeleteIt boggles my mind to think that these albums were ever made.
Oh dear....what a collection. It gets worst from Colonel Sanders down. You know me....gove me some Les Baxter, Percy Faith, Kate Smith....Conniff Singers....we'll be here all night, you get the jist
ReplyDeleteI agree - - there's nothing like the old classics (done by people who actually had talent).
DeleteJon,
ReplyDeleteTruly awful. Thanks for "sharing." (smile) Seriously though, that was a hoot!
Ron
I'm sure you'd like to spend an entire day listening to these gems (what a frightening thought....)
DeleteJon, I looked up Jan Gorrisen but everything was in Dutch. He was Belgian, a member of Accordeola, a dance band that included Eddy de Jong on Hammond Organ --or vice versa-- Bud Horn on percussion or Bud Percussion on horn --my Dutch is rusty-- and French Poptie on violin. Musta made quite a racket. You've made my Christmas merrier!
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of Gorrisen - - but some of the weirdest Christmas albums I found were Dutch (I didn't include all of them). Glad I contributed to your Christmas merriment.
DeleteOh, what nightmares you must have had when collecting this lot of terrifying album covers! Thank you for enduring it for us Jon! :D Have a great Christmas!
ReplyDeleteI've never thought of Christmas as being frightening until I saw these albums.
DeleteI hope your Christmas is non-frightening, Jenny!
Oh goodness! Too funny. I'm amazed at the Christmas selection out there. Thanks for always digging up the most interesting facts and photos! :)
ReplyDeleteThe sheer number of Christmas-related things is astounding. Unfortunately some of the worst ones are record albums. They are too incredibly bad to be believed
Delete(and I only used a few of them - - there are a LOT more....)
Just think of the music around you in the hills of Tennessee - don't run - too fast. Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteThe peaceful music of the hills is the best kind - - and I have been treading VERY carefully.
DeleteHave a fantastic Christmas, David
Oh, but I have the Conway Twitty album...the original record and the CD re-issued in recent years. And I'm not ashamed to admit it..ha :) Take care, Sheila
ReplyDeleteNow you're embarrassing me. I shouldn't have been so harsh on Conway....
ReplyDelete