Friday, December 25, 2015
I THINK IT'S CHRISTMAS
Christmas is just about over. Now, don't you feel foolish for working your ass off putting up those decorations and emptying your piggy bank buying gifts?
Aw, settle down. I only said that to cause an adverse reaction. It's one of my specialties.
Some blessed Christmas spirit must have pimped my recent post Christmas Music to Treasure, because it got over 250 views in only a few hours (you can find it somewhere on the sidebar).
Heck, usually my blog posts only get about 3 views in 250 years. I don't know why my readership is so low. I'm damn good.
Look carefully and you'll find a bitter hint of sarcasm.
Anyway, whoever the Christmas spirit is, I hope they'll do it again. And again.
My previous Christmas Eve post is long and tediously intricate. Readers don't like that. They don't want to waste precious time pondering. And I don't blame them. But I love to go on a sentimental ramble now and then.
The above photo was taken in my back yard at sunset on Christmas Eve. Just in case you cared. It was a glorious sunset.
So how was your Christmas, Jon?
I thought you'd never ask.
Let's begin with Wednesday night, the 23rd. I laid down on my bed rather early, just to read. Somehow I fell asleep, book in hand. I was sleeping heavily when the ringing telephone literally jolted me out of a dream.
It was an automated call, saying that the county I live in was under a tornado watch. That's nerve-wracking news when you're half-asleep and half-naked (I threw the half-naked part in just to pique your interest).
The wind was already howling outside, so I hurriedly got dressed and exchanged a few texts with my cousin Nancy - - until my cell phone service was lost. That happens quite often way out here in the sticks.
The storms moved in quickly and it was one helluva night, but no serious damage around here.
The foul weather cleared out on Thursday and Christmas Eve was absolutely gorgeous. And unseasonably warm! It was over 70 degrees (Fahrenheit) and stayed nearly that warm all night. A beautiful moon and a strong, eerie wind.
By dawn on Christmas Day, clouds moved in and storms began rumbling. It rained in a torrential downpour nearly all day.
When I went to bed (on Christmas Eve) I slept in blissful, undisturbed peace - which is rare. Usually my HellChild cat Scruffy runs around the house and periodically jumps on the bed to rudely wake me.
Even my other cat Bosco was absent.
It wasn't until around 10:00 a.m. Christmas morning - when it was pouring rain - that I happened to open the front door. A soaking-wet Scruffy stumbled in. She had been outside all night. I have no clue how she got out.
The amazing thing is that Bosco (who usually stays all night on my bed) spent the night by the front door - waiting for Scruffy to come in!
So where was your old cat Scratch, Jon?
Scratch usually stays out of the way and minds her own business.
I know, long cat stories are boring - which might be why my readership is low. I could tell about my erotic encounter with Santa Claus, but I'll save it for my memoir.
I had a peaceful, uneventful, very rainy Christmas. When the rain stopped in late afternoon the hunters came out. I heard nearby gunshots for quite awhile.
It is now about 6:00 in the evening as I'm writing this. Another storm is in progress and it's raining hard again.
I've rounded up the cats and took a head count, just to be safe.
Now I'm going to take a brief nap and then have a very late dinner (I love peaceful midnight meals).
I hope your Christmas was fantastic - - or at least tolerable.