Thursday, May 5, 2016

YOU ARE INVITED




Well, of course you're invited! You're reading my blog, aren't you? That means you have intelligence and excellent taste. Or, it could mean that you're desperately bored and couldn't care less how you waste your time. Whatever. You're still invited to the dinner party.

Dinner party?

Picture this:
A fancy dinner party in Paris, probably in the early 1920's. Two of the guests are the eccentric American dancer Isadora Duncan and the aging Irish playwright and critic George Bernard Shaw.

Duncan, who as usual has had too much champagne, turns to Shaw and says "With my looks and your brains we could have the perfect child together."

Shaw looks at her for a moment and then replies "Yes, my dear. But what if the child gets my looks and your brains?"

I love that story. Some versions replace Shaw with the French writer Anatole France. Since France was ancient at the time and died in 1924, I am inclined to believe the Shaw version. Besides, the caustic retort sounds like something Shaw would say.


Gone are the days of elaborate dinner parties and incredible guests. Sure, elaborate dinner parties still exist, but it's not the same. We live in a pallid cookie cutter world of rampant, stale mediocrity. Everything's gold-plated, but there is little substance within.

Let's rehash an old parlor party pastime. If you could throw a dinner party and invite anyone from history, who would be on your guest list?

And the first person who says Elvis or Prince is going to be kicked out. 

That's actually tougher than it sounds. There will be a lot of incredibly Big Egos in the room and personalities will clash. 

Who would be on my guest list? Wow, it's impossible to decide. I'll eliminate Biblical characters, since there are too many to choose from.
Atheists are breathing a sigh of relief. 
Hey, maybe I'll invite Jesus just to piss you off.

Movie stars are a dime a dozen. I wouldn't waste my time. Even though I'd love to meet Dolores Costello, Nita Naldi, Ramon Novarro, Pola Negri, Rudolph Valentino, Garbo, Louise Brooks, Frances Farmer. James Dean.
Could you imagine me and James Dean after consuming a few six packs?

You're stalling, Jon. Who the hell do you want for your dinner guests?

I'm thinking that a dinner party wouldn't be intimate enough. I'd rather meet my guests individually. Get to know them better. One on one.

This is actually an impossibility for me, since I have compiled a list of about 100.
Okay, just randomly, off the top of my head - how about (in no particular order):

Kahlil Gibran, Isak Dennison, Thomas Edward Lawrence, The Bronte sisters, Emily Dickinson, Marcel Proust, Sarah Bernhardt, Giacomo Puccini, Konstantin Stanislavsky, Isadora Duncan, Franz Liszt, Arthur Rimbaud, Tchaikovsky, Vaslav Nijinsky, Tamara Karsavina, Princess Louise (Duchess of Argyll), Anna Pavolva, Mary Todd Lincoln (and Abe), Richard Wagner, King Ludwig II of Bavaria, Alexander Scriabin, Prince Felix Youssoupov, Lady Randolph Churchill, Oscar Wilde, John Atkinson Grimshaw, Hugo Wolf, Salvador Dali, Erte, Simeon Solomon.
Oh yea - and Tsar Nicholas II and Empress Alexandra.

I left a helluva lot out, but it's a start anyway.

While I'm on a roll - how about another question:
If you could have witnessed one event in history, what would it have been?

And if you say you would have liked to see Barry Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, I'm gonna personally come to your house and kick your sorry ass into the middle of next week.

I would liked to have seen the fall of Babylon: that extraordinary night in October, 539 B.C.E, when the Medes and Persians overtook Babylon - - while King Belshazzar was in the midst of the drunken feast, and the handwriting appeared on the wall.





 

Atheists please hold your ears.

I would also like to have been present at the Last Supper with Jesus and his apostles.

By the way -
don't forget to show up at my dinner party. If you don't get an invitation, it probably got lost in the mail. Come anyway. 
 





  

40 comments:

  1. While I would be honoured to attend a soiree with even half your list along for the main course, I'd still like to put Nicholai Tesla and Aldous Huxley at the same table. Perhaps overlooking the assassination of Franz Ferdinand...?

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    Replies
    1. I've admittedly never read "Brave New World". Tesla and Huxley would undoubtedly have a conversation that would go over my head....

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    2. If Tesla is there, Edison should be, too. I'm sure they'd be too polite to engage in fisticuffs. Maybe.

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  2. Inspiring concept, will Richard Nixon be there? I always wanted to talk with him.

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    1. The table is too crowded. I'm going to have a President's Night....and Nixon will be there. Hopefully.

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  3. I would invite that guy from the Dos Equis commercial...maybe he will be drinking beer that night?

    :-)

    -Andy

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    Replies
    1. Good heavens - - how could I forget the most interesting man in the world?

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  4. I hope you have a huge table dear. That's quite a stellar list. I did a post once on this. I may do another sometime. But my guest were artist, fashion designers, one or two hunks and a few drag queens for good measure. I would really have to think awhile for individual names, but I assure you my patron saints would all be there. But for an event? I would have liked to witnessed Adolf Hilters death.

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    Replies
    1. Making sure that Die Fuhrer is positively dead would be a good idea.

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  5. Diane de Poitiers, mistress of Henri II of France. I just finished reading a couple of novels about her. I'd like to know how she kept Henri, 19+ years her junior, apparently enraptured with her for 25+ years until his death. Was it really a love affair or was she just a conniving gold digger?

    I wish I could read French because that's where any historical books about them have been written. The ones I read were pretty much claptrap.

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    1. Any woman who could keep a king (nearly 20 years her junior) happy for over 25 years deserves a seat of honor at the dinner table.

      ...but she was a tramp and a gold digger.....

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  6. Wow, really awesome post! My guest list might seem a bit odd, but so am I: Emily Dickinson, John Keats, Sylvia Plath, Walt Whitman, Frances Farmer, Truman Capote, Diane Arbus, Van Gogh, Anne Sexton, Janis Joplin, Charles Bukowski, Marilyn Monroe, Garbo, James Dean, Robin Williams and you!

    I assume adult beverages will be in abundance? Imagine getting drunk with Charles Bukowski!

    P.S. Oh, and it would be amazing to have Einstein sitting to my left...

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    1. And Lizzie Borden to my right. Not really sure why that last part disappeared? But Lizzie always was a sly one :-)

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    2. She could carve the roast!

      :-)

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    3. I'm honored that you'd want me on your guest list! I wouldn't know what to say to Einstein, so you can sit next to him. There will be plenty of booze, so the formal dinner will eventually turn into a free-for-all.
      Although, I couldn't imagine Emily Dickinson getting drunk....

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    4. If Lizzie Borden is there, we might as well invite Jack the Ripper - just to find out who he was.

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    5. "Lizzie Borden took an ax
      And gave the crown roast
      Several whacks..."

      "When she was done
      Without ado
      She served up all the plates
      Au jus."

      :-)

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  7. Of course, maybe you were at those events. ;)
    I would love to find out what Jesus thinks of Christianity since he left.

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    1. I think he would be totally appalled. Although I think he would have loved Mother Teresa (as I do) :-)

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    2. He would definitely be appalled.

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  8. Jon, I see a loose but pleasant connection between the party you describe and the potential of technology to bring us into the company of good minds. I'm glad to have connected with such enjoyable personalities through the blogosphere.

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    Replies
    1. I agree, Geo - and the best part is that we don't have to get dressed up in order to converse.

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  9. I would like to invite the founding fathers and ask them what they think about how the constitution has been mutilated.

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    1. Our founding fathers would probably be so disgusted that they wouldn't be able to eat.

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  10. eleanor roosevelt, audrey hepburn, robin williams, lady bunny, my maternal grandmother, w.c. fields.

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    1. Lady Bunny??? Well, hell, why not? If you invite your maternal grandmother, I'll invite mine. I have a lot of questions to ask her.

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    2. Why yes Jon, Lady Bunny!!!! Drag extraordinaire and funny queen not to mention one of my Patron Saints. Every dinner part needs a tad of vulgarity.

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  11. For perhaps the second or third time in my life, now I'm regretting my earlier disdain for history. Still, I'm loving your posers!

    Off the top of my head, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy/Onassis. Some years ago I had the fortune of sitting in a class w/ her personal driver (post-November 1963). The gentleman's admiration was still keen, and tho' reluctant to share personal details, he remembered her frustration at not being taken seriously by intellectuals and scholars.

    PS - I've never been one with a timely bon mot, so dinner parties aren't my thing. Love what you said about one-on-one discussions.

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    1. If Jackie O. wasn't taken seriously as an intellectual, I can't imagine what they would think of the dumb asses who are around now - like Hillary and Michelle. Standards have become so LOW that it's staggering.

      I'll bet Jackie's driver has a lot of stories to tell.

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  12. I dislike dinner parties. I always want to put my elbows on the table and search for a tooth pick. That said, Duncan Grant would be a fun evening.

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    1. I had never thought of Duncan Grant but he would be extremely interesting. Didn't he have an affair with his male cousin?

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    2. Yes, and his daughter married his male love.

      Betty Anne

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  13. My friends and I used to have elaborate dinner parties when we were teens. Dressed to the nines. Formal of course. So I am so happy to be invited to yours in my later years. BUT you stole my thunder. Salvador Dali would have been on top of my list followed by Van Gogh, F.Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Nefertiti to name a few. BIG event I would have liked to see Mount Vesuvius erupt and bury the ancient Roman city of Pompeii.

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    1. I never thought of Pompeii. That would be fantastic to see - - if we could survive!
      F. Scott and Zelda were initially on my list, and then I scrapped them only because the list was too long. Definitely next time!

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  14. What a cool concept. It'd be fun if we could pick and choose from a variety of time periods, too. (What the heck? If we're gonna fantasize, let's do it up big!) Let's see, for starters, I'd want Einstein, Edison, Tesla, and the Curies. Edison and Tesla would provide intense discussions, and just for them, we could have some AC/DC music playing softly in the background. And the Curies? You KNOW they'd add a certain "sparkle" to the gathering. Einstein wasn't just brilliant; he also had a great sense of humor. He might even bring his violin along, and provide a little after-dinner music. (You could accompany him on the piano.) We'd also want Winston Churchill, Oscar Wilde, Noel Coward, and Eleanor Roosevelt. Maybe Isadora Duncan and Jenny Lind. Caruso, of course. Mario Lanza. (Maybe they'll sing a duet for us.) Albert Schweitzer, Tom Dooley, and Mother Teresa. Oh, given enough time, I could come up with a lot more, but that's a good start. Now, what WILL we serve...?

    Years ago, when Smartacus and I entertained a lot, we liked to mix up the guest list, and luckily, it always worked. Nothing like his biker buddies hobnobbing with the folks I sang with in the choir... or bowled with, or whatever. Lots of fun.

    Hard to pick which event in history I would have liked to have observed first-hand. a LOT of them. It'd be hard to top seeing Christ push the rock aside and stroll out of that cave, though.

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    1. I initially thought this would be easy - but when I started choosing dinner guests from such a VAST variety of people it was a complete impossibility. I sort of narrowed it down to the 19th & 20th centuries. And then there's the problem of language. I didn't want to have it turn into another Tower of Babel.

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  15. I prefer one on one time--but actually have no idea who I would like to talk to. If anyone--honestly--I'd pick my BFF, Ruby, who died a few years ago. I miss her and we could talk and laugh for hours on end! Or did you say they had to be famous?

    Witness...??? I have always been much more intrigued by common, ordinary lives. Would love to be a fly on the wall in any time period at all with a very ordinary person's day or a family's day.

    I know. Boring, eh? :)

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