Thursday, June 30, 2016

FAREWELL TO JUNE



 Sunrise today, with morning fog


Many thanks to everyone who appreciated my previous post, Wild Ride. And thanks to everyone who didn't appreciate it. What the heck - - I'm in a rare good mood today.

There's something that has been bothering me about my previous post. It has to do with the part where I said that Nancy and I removed the back seat of the Camaro through the trunk of the car. It didn't make any sense to me.

The incident happened long ago, when we were teens. My memory has since been clouded by booze and hard living. After I posted the story on my blog I kept thinking about it.
Then! Suddenly! Last night at around 3:00 a.m. I remembered!

My cousin Nancy didn't lock her keys in the car. She locked them in the trunk! We removed the back seat to get into the trunk.
Note: I just revised Wild Ride and made the correction.


I happened to stop over at Nancy's house today and she mentioned my blog and confirmed the back seat incident. She also said that the guy who worked at the stables helped us with our effort to remove the seat.

I've always kept very detailed diaries, and I also wrote down all of my youthful adventures with Nancy in a notebook. Unfortunately, these were all lost by the movers when I came to Tennessee.  Now I only have my rapidly deteriorating memory to rely on.

The past few days have been gorgeous - - but rain is predicted for the weekend, Independence Day (Monday), and most of next week. It's no exaggeration when I always say that Tennessee is the most rainy place I've ever been. That's why I've given up on maintaining the weeds. They would have to be cut at least three times a week. My feeble efforts are constantly thwarted by torrential downpours.

I drove into town today to buy some necessities before the chaos of the upcoming holiday weekend. Everything went alarmingly smoothly, which makes me suspicious. As an avowed pessimist, I always worry when things go well. It's not normal.

But, as usual, I did forget one thing on my list of supplies. I got beer and cat food, toilet paper and cat litter, milk, bread, even a watermelon.....

.....but I forgot to get lemon juice, which I desperately need.

Why don't you just use fresh lemons, Jon?

Hey, Pancho - - did you ever try to find a fresh lemon in rural Tennessee? It's easier to find a Gay Pride Parade. Besides, I'm not in the mood to cut and squeeze anything. Who do you think I am - Julia Child?

My entire life revolves around a large bottle of lemon juice, reconstituted (whatever that means).
Well, that and a keg of beer.
I drank a few beers today to mellow out. 

My cousin Nancy's daughter moved back in with her for awhile. Nancy's daughter is a parrot connoisseur. I'm not joking. She moved her entire pandemonium of parrots into my cousin's house.
I'm almost positive that a group of parrots is called a pandemonium of parrots. In any case, any large number of parrots can definitely cause pandemonium.....

Anyway, I counted about seven parrots - all beautiful birds in huge, gorgeous cages: cockatoos, cockatiels, a macaw, a Senegal.
I recognized the Senegal immediately because I used to have one. It lived twenty years....and then had a tragic, accidental death. It still upsets me to think of it. Someday, I might write about it.  

The parrots are all fantastic - - but my cousin Nancy is a much more tolerant soul than I am. My three cats are enough to drive me to the brink of bonkers. 

Living with a pandemonium of parrots could turn a vegetarian into a killer and a meat eater.

Ponder that for awhile. It might get funny. Then again, maybe it won't.

Farewell to June??
Yup. Tomorrow is July.    



34 comments:

  1. Jon, with that opening picture....it make me want to get my fan out again and use it. Shall I come down and do a fan dance this weekend? That's a great picture! Lemons. I make homemade iced tea while home and the recipe calls for one lemon cut up. I find myself always licking the ends before I toss them in the can. Fresh squeezed it tasty. I once made freshly squeezed orange juice too. Never again. It was very good but had no ide it took THAT many to get a decent glass.

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    1. You can come and do a fan dance whenever you like.
      I love the scent of fresh lemons. And I also tried to make freshly-squeezed orange juice once. It is indeed a complete impossibility. You'd need about two dozen oranges for one glass ( at least....).

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  2. Yes, that much closer to Fall! (As we know it in December, that is.)

    My hubby's a fan of the large birds; me, not so much.
    Nancy sounds like the best friend all of us wish we had in our lives.

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    1. After having lived with one parrot for twenty years ( a small Senegal), my fondness for birds diminished considerably.

      Nancy is a saint. She is constantly helping others. Unfortunately I'm not quite as kind or tolerant.....

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  3. Replies
    1. Hard to believe. The older I get, the more quickly time flies.

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  4. Do any of these birds talk? Our insurance agent takes her bird to work with her and it talks a lot.

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    1. A few of her parrots can talk (the larger ones). The small ones can't.

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  5. A fellow firefighter raised so many of the largest African varieties of birds that he built an addition onto his house and became a licensed aviary veterinarian. One day when I drove up his long driveway to see them, I was blasted with screams of distress and anger coming from his home and wondered if I should walk in shooting or just turn around and leave. I have NEVER heard such grating pandemonium in my life! I could never own one, for they become so attached to their owner, and usually outlive us. Too sad to contemplate, so I'm a dog person now. (I used to be a cat person) until one of them viciously attacked my sister (out of the blue) and she ended up in the hospital for a week....the cat's head, on the other hand, was given a police escort to Indianapolis, Indiana to be checked for rabies. TMI, TMi, TMi. I know. sorry 'bout that.

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    1. I volunteer at our local VA hospital on Sundays. Sometimes, we take the patients, as many as we can fit on our bus/dump truck chassis vehicle. We went to a decaying coal town for breakfast at their local branch of something or other. We were greeted by a woman with a huge parrot who I've seen before at different VA functions with and without her bird. We were inside having our breakfast while this woman walked around with her squab on her shoulder. I watched her walk into the kitchen where I saw the squab lift itself up on her shoulders and raise its tail feathers. Yup, it crapped right there all over the kitchen. I don't care if I never "eat" at that place, again.

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    2. Parrots shouldn't be allowed in places where people are eating. I wouldn't want to go there again, either.

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    3. I only had one parrot. It was a small African Senegal and it screamed so much that it was nearly intolerable. I had it for twenty years - - and I'm sure it would have lived another twenty if it hadn't died in a "freak" accident (no - I didn't kill it....).

      I love cats, but a vicious cat can be extremely dangerous. I truly believe that they could kill a person if they put their mind to it.

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  6. It was immediately funny to me. Northern AL is a subtropical area. We have so much rain and even more humidity.

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    1. Fortunately the humidity isn't very bad here in TN - at least not in the area where I live (I'm only a few miles from the Kentucky border).

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  7. You are of course correct about "pandemonium" being a group of parrots, although "flock" will also do in a pinch. Of note, Pandemonium is also the capital of Hell in Milton's Paradise Lost. Makes one wonder if he had ever been around a group of parrots before writing that poem. ~~~ NB

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    1. I never knew that about "Paradise Lost" but it's ironically amusing. I have no doubt that Milton had parrots in mind.

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  8. The phrase "parrot connoisseur" made me think, I don't think I have ever seen roast parrot on a menu.

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    1. I figured if one can be a connoisseur of fine paintings, one can be a connoisseur of fine birds.

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  9. Jon,

    I'm just wondering how many lemons one would have to squeeze to get one glass of lemon juice. Too much work.

    Larry

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    1. You'd probably need an entire tree of lemons to make some decent lemonade.

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    2. Hey Jon, I'm actually quite grateful June is over. Just wanted to stop by and let you know I am still taking a long peek at your always entertaining blog.

      By the way, I once had a crazy friend (most of my friends were borderline insane)that never left home without his beloved parrot perched on his left shoulder. He really was doing his best to seem like some kind of modern-day pirate or something.

      At least he never wore an eye patch, so I guess he was not totally deranged. That has to count for something...

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    3. It's always great to know that you're still with me, Dylan. Your friend must have had an amazingly tame parrot. I'm not sure I'd want to have one on my shoulder all the time - but it's an unusual accessory!

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  10. Pray tell what do you use all that lemon juice for... being how it's a staple in your home. Having an aviary in one's home is quite alot of fun. My aunt had a CURSING parrot that was funny as hell when I was growing up. I had finches that used to fly around my bedroom as a child. And had a friend with a macaw. I think a pandemonium of parrots is amazing.

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    1. When I went to my cousin's house yesterday I was expecting complete chaos - - but to my surprise, the parrots were quite and remarkably well-behaved. Perhaps they are only that way in the presence of company.....

      What about lemon juice?? I'll answer that in my reply to Susan (below)

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  11. Happy July!!! (Wow, hard to believe, isn't it?) Sorry to hear you're still getting so much rain. We're in the middle of what's been termed an "extreme drought" now, so we haven't seen any significant amount of rainfall for quite some time. But it IS bloody hot.

    Yeah, what Taryterre said... what do you DO with all that lemon juice that it's considered a staple??? We always have fresh lemons and limes in our fridge, so they're kinda staple-ish, I suppose, but a whole bottle lemon juice...?

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    1. I love fresh lemons and limes, but it's easier just to have lemons in a bottle. I love the tangy taste of lemon and use it a lot in cooking (weird, but true). I eat lots of fish and always drench it in lemon juice. Sometimes I use it to make quick lemonade.
      This is going to sound insane, but often I even sprinkle it on rice...or French fries!

      I plan to enjoy the 4th even if it is rain-drenched. The only good thing about rain is that it cools things down.

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  12. My memory has gotten foggier over the decades, too. No matter--we got the gist.
    I've owned a lot of budgies and cockatiels and a couple of African Greys, but most of the bigger parrots are way too noisy for me...well, and my neighbors--LOL! Right now--I can enjoy watching the wild birds chowing down when I feed them. Beautiful photo, BTW. :)

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    1. I agree that I would rather just watch wild birds from the window. I had a small African Senegal parrot for twenty years and he screamed constantly.

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  13. I still have my African Grey, who is quiet for a large bird. He talks a little and whistles a lot. Had both a macaw and cockatoo in the past. The macaw was a vicious biter and the cockatoo screamed almost incessantly. Found new homes for both. Also had lovebirds, mustached parakeet, and a pair of plumhead parakeets. Now I have two budgies who are way nosier and messier than the grey.

    I love cats also but if I had one it would probably terrorize the budgies. The neighbor's cat parks itself under my bird feeder which infuriates me. I chase it away whenever I see it. I was outside talking to someone a while ago and the damn thing walked up and rubbed against my legs.

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    1. I've heard that out of all the common parrots, African Greys often make the best pets. After having an African Senegal for twenty years, I'm not exactly fond of any parrots. They are not easy to live with.
      But, of course, either are cats. I love cats, but I'll admit that three of them can drive you crazy!!! They're too damn independent.

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  14. Anytime you wish to tell a story is fine by me. I loved it. I had birds for decades. Now it's just one toy fox terrier. My mynah was trained to speak at an early age and over the years her words kept on growing. Picture this - I'd have friends over for supper and whenever dessert was served, she'd pipe up and clearly state, " You're fed, go home." The looks on their faces was hysterical.

    Where did June go ... that went quick. Enjoy your weekend !

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  15. That's a funny story! Mynahs can have an extraordinary vocabulary, and it really seems that they know what they're saying. I've had some incredibly smart parakeets.

    Hopefully it won't rain much this weekend (but I'm probably hoping against hope...)

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  16. Torrential rains, weeds, lemon juice and parrots. And oh, back seats through the trunk of the car. Jon, you do live one interesting life 👍😎

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    1. I used to, Ron - but not anymore....

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