Thursday, June 9, 2016

OUT OF CHARACTER



 Slippery Slopes

I initially didn't think anyone would warm up to my previous post about Empress Alexandra Feodorovna. I was delightfully surprised that some people actually enjoyed it. Muchas gracias por tu amabilidad.

Perhaps I should do more historic posts. My blog is usually a shining example of valueless fluff. It often encompasses the mundane and very often embraces the nonsensical:  beer rants, photos of my forest-engulfed property or my rambunctious cats.

For variety I very often enjoy writing about my past - because it was so unique, colorful, and interesting ( a few miserable  spoilsports vehemently disagree).

I tend to shy away from writing about  deeply personal problems or health issues. These subjects inevitably evoke yawns of indifference and/or groans of displeasure. Nobody gives a royal crap about your health.

Today I'm going to step out of character (hence the title) and do some bitching and complaining. This would be a good time for the super-sensitive to leave the room.

Wow! The room is almost empty! My power of persuasion is impressive.

In several previous blog posts I've casually mentioned my back pain and also my "laziness" about doing things around the house. I never mentioned, however, the extent or seriousness of my back injuries - - or the fact that it is the sole reason I haven't been doing much physical work. 

Here's where it gets boring.

It all started about twenty years ago when I had a terrific fall. While carrying a heavy vacuum cleaner, I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs. I landed directly on my lower spine and sustained compression fractures. It never healed properly and as a result I had numbness and tingling in my legs for years.

Fast forward to 2014 when I moved to Tennessee. 

I live on treacherous mountainous terrain and have had several nasty falls since I've been here. The two worst falls happened during the winter of 2015. 

In the middle of a very frigid night, one of the water pipes froze and burst. I had to run outside to shut off the main water valve - which is annoyingly far away down the mountain slope.

Just as I got to the shut-off valve I slipped on the ice, flew through the air, and landed directly on my lower spine. The pain was so bad that I couldn't move for ten minutes. Rather than freeze to death on a slab of ice, I finally opted to crawl back up the slope to the house on my hands and knees.

I could hardly walk because of the ice injury, but literally forced myself to do work around here. About three weeks later I was outside in a snowstorm and....you guessed it.... fell on the ice again - directly on my lower spine again. This time, after the initial impact of falling, I slid down a steep embankment and smashed into the side of the house. I had internal bleeding for a week.

I deluded myself into thinking that these back injuries had eventually healed - until about two months ago when I suddenly began getting excruciating pain in my spine, lower back, and legs. It was so bad that there was no way I could possibly walk. It took me half an hour just to roll out of bed, and then I had to literally drag myself in agony across the floor. 
I was doing a bad imitation of Blanche in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Being a devout masochist, I endured this torture for several weeks - with the hope that I'd either die or eventually improve.

I eventually improved, but not nearly enough to dance the mambo or sing praises to Asclepius. It still takes about an hour before I'm able to navigate in the morning. Walking is difficult. And my posture is noticeably askew. Among other things.

As if this weren't enough, I've been getting vicious attacks of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions of the heart). I've had them for years and mine are usually induced by lack of sleep and stress. For me, magnesium supplements help immensely.

So, what was the purpose of this extremely unpleasant post? Only to proclaim that things aren't perfect up here in the realms of Eden
And I haven't even revealed half of my problems.

I don't want sympathy or advice. I simply felt an unwholesome need to rant. 

And I have to drive into town tomorrow. That should be fun. It's going to be 90 degrees, so I hope to get an early start.
For me, "early" means noon. 




35 comments:

  1. oh my! back injuries = serious shit. get cat litter and TP and beer tomorrow.

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    1. AM - you hit the Bulls Eye! Those are exactly the three things I need.

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  2. Good grief, what kind of internet friends do you have who would react badly to honest misery. The ones who would say you're narcissistic and gathering sympathy would be the ones who are either grade A healthy, or don't like having their suffering come in second to yours. Where you fell, is exactly WHERE WE FALL as humans. I'm glad your coccyx wasn't harmed, since there's nothing that can be done for that common problem. We should each feel free to take turns listing our ailments. Why some would run from it as if it's a personal assault, is beyond me. I think it's the best way to understand and commiserate. Since I'm new here, would you mind telling me WHY you moved to a treacherous area (hilly AND snowy) for a person with back problems. At least in Florida, I won't be slipping on ice.

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  3. I mainly moved to TN to be near relatives, and - after being in the absolute HELL of Texas - I didn't care where I went. I mostly wanted seclusion, peace, and privacy - and that's what I got. Falling on the ice was merely an unexpected detour.....

    Having lived in California and Texas most of my life, I was tired of perpetual heat. And I definitely wanted to see a change of seasons.

    Actually I slipped on the ice (both times) because I was wearing cowboy boots, which have absolutely no traction, and because I wasn't careful.

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  4. Sooooooo.......that class of dirty dancing I signed us up for is a no go???

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    1. Dirty dancing is definitely out - - but perhaps I can manage a slow tango.

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    2. Jon - I heard you're not much for the Highland Shim but you do a mean Lowland shuffle. Credit to the 3 Stooges for that one.

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    3. LOL- - or perhaps I can clog dance....

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  5. Be careful! Liz Taylor got hooked on drugs from a back injury. And then there was Prince. Level of pain can not be described even to a doctor. Seek the best medical attention and THEN get a second opinion.
    I loved your Russian tribute.

    I'll cross you off my list for an advanced Zumba class.

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    1. Fortunately I don't like pain pills of any kind - in fact I seldom even use aspirin.
      You can rest assured that I won't be doing the limbo....

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  6. So long as noon is an acceptable rising time, you should be ok. Ok, no advice, as agreed. PVC can be caused by stress --anxiety, had it since my 30s-- (but other problems figure-- anemia, infections, overwork, ad infinitum)....adrenaline (stress) IS affected by magnesium --find your dosage or you get the trots. Best see a doctor, get scanned, drink beer, ask about an orthopedic back brace. You'll be fine.

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    1. PS: Got some excellent email advice from a professional:
      "Geo, Just to be on the safe side, suggest that Jon's doc might get a holter monitor to determine a bit more about what he thinks are PVC's. They might be, might not, I have no info about his medical condition. But a Holter will confirm what kind and how often they occur. Suggest a two day holter rather than a 24 hour.

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    2. I had no idea that stress is affected by magnesium (there's a lot I don't know). I don't take large doses. Excessive alcohol can also induce PVC's. That happened to me once long ago when I had too much Tequila.
      An orthopedic back brace sounds like a very good idea.
      I will keep a holter monitor in mind. I do appreciate the advice, Geo.

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  7. I must admit, when you mention chronic health problems ... I've wondered.
    My "Cherry Ames, Student Nurse" desperately wants to assist but I've no such education and can only empathize.
    Silly question perhaps (but I'm going to throw it out there anyway): Is it possible/probable to seek relief from acupuncture?

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    1. I've had an impressive assortment of chronic health problems my entire life - and have managed to successfully ignore most of them (but it gets more difficult as we grow older). I suppose it all started when I was six and two doctors diagnosed me as having Leukemia.
      I've never tried acupuncture. I'm terrified of needles....

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  8. I won't try to top you with John's and my ailments. I'll just say maybe we'll see you in that great nursing home in the sky. Good luck Jon.

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    1. That nursing home must be pretty crowded by now - - but I'm sure there's room for us.

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  9. Jon,
    We sound like a match made in heaven. Or, is it a match made flat of our respective backs. I had an ice fall too, down the steps. After I slid out into the yard, I lay there like a bug on its back, appendages flailing in the air. I decided I would freeze to death because no neighbor could hear me. I crawled across the yard to the steps and climbed up the steps. I don't know if I could have stood or not, but the ice was so slippery I was not going to take the chance. I am sure a fall will kill me eventually. I have always known this even before my mother died from a fall.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear about your misadventure on the ice, and I hope it didn't cause any permanent damage. I've known many people who have sustained bad injuries from falling on the ice.

      Falls (even non-ice falls) are an alarmingly common cause of injuries and - as in the very tragic case of your Mother - even death. My recent falls have nearly destroyed me and I have no doubt that another one could kill me.

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  10. Facing my own health issues at the moment I can empathize with you completely. And hope you find some relief for the pain you endure as a result of these injuries. i also want you to know that "For me, "early" means noon, too." Good luck on your road trip into town.

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    1. I'm truly sorry to know that you're presently dealing with health issues. Life hits us with one unpleasant thing after another. It never ends.
      I have never been a morning person - - and when I know I have to go somewhere, I can never sleep.

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  11. I find it helps to melt down and rant from time to time. Take care,

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  12. If we were wilderness neighbours, I'd happily offer help with your weeds and wasps. It's a bit of a trek, though, so I'll join your other commenters in sending along some cyber tlc.

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    1. I'm successfully battling the wasps, I'm SLOWLY tackling the weeds. I'll take all the TLC I can get!

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  13. I generally refuse to take any kind of pain meds, too, but I've never suffered from chronic back pain, either. Brief bouts of it were bad enough. I sure hope you've seen a doctor to find out if something can be done to give you some relief. You're too young to live with that much pain, cowboy.

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    1. If this pain keeps up I'll have to see a doctor to find out what the heck is wrong - - but sometimes I think it's better not knowing....

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  14. I slipped on ice at the top of cement stairs 25 years ago--flew up in the air and landed on my back--so I am familiar with lying immobile till you realize you might freeze to death and crawled back up the steps (crying and pain-squealing all the way). I didn't have insurance at the time, but it hurt so badly I made a doctor's appointment. The doctor didn't even x-ray my back--just gave me muscle relaxers and pain pills. I was never the same. Could never lie on my back or stomach without pain--so this tummy sleeper had to change her ways. Have to sleep on my sides--have to get up and walk around the bed to switch sides. Any position gets sore, soI need to flip myself like a pancake all night long--LOL!

    As the years go on things get worse--yes! Now I have degenerative (crumbling) spine in my lower back and it sounds like we walk quite similarly for quite a while after we get up. Any pain pills related to morphine/codeine make me barfy sick in no time and the weaker stuff does nothing at all, so I am on my own, too. Regardless, I don't like taking pills, either. I don't talk about my health issues much on my blog, either, other than people know I've been disabled and basically housebound for over a decade--and I have mentioned the osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia (but have a barrage of other issues). I think I have maybe complained more than usual this past year because of the move last fall and feeling outright awful since then--worse than I had felt in over a decade. I hope I didn't whine too much. Am finally on the upswing the past month or so. (I hope and pray.) I guess we have a right to complain once in a while, you know? But I don't do it to have people feel sorry for me or anything. It's just my life. As yours is just yours. What bugs me the worst is that my body is the boss of me now. Not to be ignored or I shall pay a high price. Hard to ignore, anyways, when it is in constant pain of some degree or another--LOL!

    Hang in there! We are not alone. There are a lot of people dealing with health issues of all kinds every day of their lives. And some of them much worse off. You should get a lot of something for the ice this summer--sand, salt, even kitty litter--so you are prepared for that nasty winter ice this year. Don't want you falling again!! ;)

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    1. Wow, your crash on the ice sounds so similar to mine. It is amazing (actually horrifying) that the doctor never x-rayed your back. That, to me, is the height of incompetence. I feel the same as you when it comes to pain pills - - I can't tolerate the strong ones and the weak stuff is completely worthless.

      The first time I fell (over 20 years ago) was really the beginning of the end for me. I was never the same. These two most recent falls have destroyed me. I think another one will kill me.

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  15. Jon,

    Life is never easy nor pain free, I guess. I am sorry you have suffered this injury. Now you are in a club with Ron, guys who broke to pieces falling on ice. Nothing wrong with an occasional rant, a lot of people do so over very little, but you have good cause. Try to stay safe.

    Larry

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    1. I never realized how completely devastating a fall can be - especially when ice is involved. I was admittedly careless all three times when I fell (hurrying and wearing improper shoes) and I'm sure paying for it now.

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  16. I agree totally with Rita's comment that she is bugged that her body is the boss of her now. I saw a new physical therapist yesterday. I was whining about how I don't walk upright but lean forward and was told that I can't possibly stand upright because of my crappy arthritic bones. My body's in a vicious cycle. It helps to move about but hurts like hell to get started, therefore I tend to stay motionless.

    Had lunch with friends a while back and observed that we must really be getting old when our conversation turned to health issues. Old age sucks.

    Jon, I'm not fond of needles either but acupuncture needles are so thin that they're practically invisible. I had something called dry needling yesterday and it didn't hurt either. I'll try anything to regain a little mobility.

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    1. I hope the acupuncture helps you - - thin needles don't sound too intimidating. I've never heard of dry needling. It's genuinely frightening and depressing to lose mobility. It's even worse knowing that my back injuries could have been avoided.

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  17. I remembered your post about falling on the ice and had thought that this was the reason you weren't doing so much, but hadn't realised the whole story. I hope you're able to stock up with essentials so that when winter comes you'll be all set if the weather looks too bad to handle.

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  18. Jon,
    I feel so bad for you having to endure your back pain all these years. Thank goodness you're not hooked on pain killers. I hope exercise and time heals your pain. We all care for you.
    Ron

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