NOT for the faint of heart.
If you love Hillary DO NOT read this.
If you hate Trump DO NOT read this.
If you're expecting apologies from me,
don't hold your breath.
You thought I didn't watch the Democratic National Convention last week, didn't you?
And you thought I was too scared to write a post about it because 99% of my readers are voting for Hillary, didn't you?
And you thought I'd be terrified of getting nasty comments and having hoards of flustered people flee from my blog.
Well, let me introduce you to the New Version of Jon who has had a couple of beers and doesn't give a Royal Shit what anybody thinks.
New Version of Jon.
It's like Windows 10 - - only better.
I'm in a Raging Rant Mood (capitalized for emphasis) and if you can't handle it move on to a innocuous blog which will bore you with family vacation photos and descriptions of Timmy's first tooth.
OR go to Hillary's website, which will recharge your unsatisfied quest for hope and change.
If I lose my liberal readers, so be it. It'll make more room for my conservative ones (all two of them).
Hang onto your Donkey tails - here we go!
I still can't figure out how such an absolutely joyless and consistently angry convention could have provided so many laughs. Unintentional laughs, but laughs nevertheless.
Debbie Wasserman Schultz - the Darling of the Democrats, who was scheduled to open the convention......
was suddenly dumped and thrown under the bus....when Wikileaks released the emails that proved she had a Big Hand (capitalized for emphasis) in the trashing of Bernie Sanders and tipping the scales of the nomination in favor of Hillary.
Debbie's biggest moment went down in flames. Like a Kamikaze.
No surprises here. We already knew the Democrats are consistently corrupt, didn't we? Hell, Bill and Hillary based their entire scandal-ridden careers on absolute undiluted corruption.
And Bernie Sanders?
That poor loser was the biggest joke of all. After being humiliated, pummeled, and pissed on by Hillary and her ruthless cronies, he crawled onto the convention stage and humbly endorsed her!!!
Where the hell are this wimp's balls???? He wasted the opportunity of a lifetime
while making a complete jackass out of himself.
But then, they're all donkey's asses, aren't they?
Are you readers still with me? I know you're choking on my caustic words. Well, take a few deep breathes and try to recover. If you have difficulty recovering, you might want to visit the
The biggest problem with the Democrats and their pathetically weak agenda is the fact that they have absolutely no new ideas to offer.
THEY ARE HOPELESSLY STUCK IN THE PAST!!!!
Speech after tedious speech, person after miserable person....all spewed the same stale crap from the 1960's:
Save the children
Stop global warming
Free the slaves
For Christopher Christ's sake - get real!!!
Welcome to the year 2016! You pathetic relics from the psychedelic era don't know what century you're in.
A Trio of Angry Mamas
"Whites, go to the back of the room!"
What? You didn't see this??
It happened at the convention. But the liberal news media hardly mentioned it.
They will use the same bully tactics at the voting booths in November.
Don't doubt me on this.
Black with Red Punctuation
The convention audience frequently BOOED Hillary and chanted for Bernie Sanders, which provided many delightfully humorous interludes....and many awkward moments for the cameramen....
And then there were the victims.
All of the usual VICTIMS were dragged out and paraded before us - - to generate pity and remorse. And anger. Every Democrat is a victim. Everyone is victimized by ......
the evil white man and the GOP.
After all, Donald Trump is an evil Nazi -
so was Nixon, Reagan, Bush #1 and #2, Romney, etc.
I thought the eight-year unification and transparency of our Muslim Mulatto President would have quelled all of the Democrats complaints, but it didn't!!
We need Hillary to extend this Marxist agenda!
What? You're upset because I called our President a mulatto Muslim? I'm a racist?? Hey, he was raised as a Muslim and is a mulatto. Don't blame me.
Among the many, many, many victims on parade was Khizr Khan, a Muslim who lost his (American) son to a suicide bomber in Iraq twelve years ago. It's definitely a tragedy, but a Presidential Convention isn't exactly the place to spew your grief.
....but there is a reason.....
Khan's sob story speech quickly turned into an attack on Donald Trump.
Somehow, his son's murder was twisted into being Trump's fault.
Just like the mass shooting at the gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida was Donald Trump's fault and the fault of the NRA - - rather than the fault of the Muslim terrorist who did the slaughtering.
And - to make matters worse - Trump had the balls to respond and criticize Khan!!!
The news media gleefully seized upon this to detract from Hillary and her prison-worthy email fiasco.
Angry Khan Trashing Trump
The Khan family has become the Patron Saints of the Democratic Party, latching onto the media like Iranian flies on a pile of camel shit.
And then there was Bill Clinton's speech endorsing his beloved wife.
The impeached, disbarred, rampant sexual predator took time from his busy schedule to kiss the ass of Mr. Hillary.
He repeatedly wagged his bony finger at us - just as he did in the past -
("I didn't have sex with that woman!")
as he laboriously recounted his excruciatingly boring and highly fictitious rendition of meeting, courting, and marrying Hillary.
Without exaggeration it was the biggest, smelliest pile of absolute undiluted BULLSHIT that the Democrats ever shoveled on us.
Who wrote that saccharine speech? Barbara Cartland??
While in the throes of professing his love for Hillary, old Billie Boy failed to mention a few names that seem to resonate with erectile enthusiasm:
Monica Lewinsky, Gennifer Flowers, Julie McMahon, Maria Furtwangler, Belinda Stronach, Naomi Robson, Markie Post, Patricia Duff, Elizabeth Gracen, Sally Perdue, Dolly Kyle Browning, .....
Not to mention
Paula Jones, Eileen Wellstone, Carolyn Moffet, Kathleen Willey, Elizabeth Ward, Christy Zercher, Sandra Allen James, and of course
RAPE VICTIM Juanita Broaddrick.
What? None of these names ring a bell?
Do your homework once in awhile, so I don't have to do it for you.
when Hillary is finally in the Oval Office, will she ever wonder just how many blow jobs Bill received in there?
Naw, not a chance. She couldn't care less where Billy's willy has been.
After all, she desperately clung to William Jefferson's slimy coat tails for over forty years to get where she is today. She certainly couldn't have done it without him.
And that trail of semen that he left like a degenerate snail?
Don't let it worry you.
It was all a vast Right Wing conspiracy.
Did you see Billy Boy SLEEPING during Hillary's speech??
This priceless display of disrespect for his beloved wife was the absolute highlight of the entire convention.
Looks like Bill wasn't the only one....
And what about Comrade Hillary's speech?
The usual bland stuff - - angry, dismal, accusatory, bitter, humorless, pious, desperate.
It didn't rouse much enthusiasm.
And it sure didn't rouse any cocks.
Who will design her pantsuit for the Inaugural Ball?
Will Monica Lewinsky be invited?
I really didn't dump much on Hillary in this post. That's because she requires an entire post dedicated to her ceaseless years of corruption, lies, scandals, and inadequacies.
The BIG question:
Is Hillary qualified to be President of the United States? I'll give you awhile to ponder all her accomplishments.
And don't count Benghazi.
I'm on a roll and I ain't done yet!
If you read this rant, I truly appreciate it.
If you hated it - my mission is accomplished!