Thursday, September 15, 2016

UNDER THE INFLUENCE


 Dawn this morning


I ingested half a dozen beers today and am feeling remarkably pain-free and congenial. I refuse to be responsible for anything that I might say.

I deleted my previous post, An Afterthought, simply because it was very brief and completely insignificant.
I want to thank Geo., Ron, and Geezer for leaving comments. 

I'm writing this in bed, propped up in an incredibly uncomfortable position - using a laptop with a very uncongenial keyboard. I suffer continuously for blogging.

You only suffer occasionally from reading it.

Speaking of suffering -
I know that whenever I do a post about Hillary your love for me cools considerably (I have frostbitten balls to prove it).

Many of you think I'm Deplorable 
(notice how cleverly I got that link in there?)

Truth to tell, I simply derive sadistic satisfaction from occasionally annoying my readers.
I'm harmless, really.
I wouldn't hurt a fly.

As I've said numerous times in the past, I'm neither a Trump supporter nor a Hillary hater. I'm merely an observer. I've never voted in my entire life. Politics in America has sunk to a bottom of the spittoon level.

 An unflattering glimpse of my front "yard"

Mid-September already. Harvest moon on Friday. Autumn next week. My favorite time of year.

Still unseasonably hot here in the Tennessee boonies. I had to make the dreaded drive into town today.

Narrow, treacherous, infuriatingly winding mountain roads  - screeching along at 65 mph in the comforting custody of Budweiser.

The scenery along the way is gorgeous. I'd love to take photos but I fear getting hit by a logging truck - or falling over a cliff.

Speaking of falling - -
I was hauling two incredibly large bags of trash to my car this morning....slipped on the wet grass....tumbled down an embankment....landed on my face. Extracted an impressive array of x-rated phrases from my vocabulary. 

It rained when I got to Walmart. A sudden but brief downpour. Tropical warmth, suffocating humidity.

I stopped to see my cousin Nancy before I embarked on the drive home. She has a busy schedule and a myriad of problems. The woman is a saint. Without revealing details - - all I'll say is thank God I never had children.  

Three damn cats are more than enough for me to handle..... 

This post is boring and worthless. The effects of the beer is (are?) wearing off. I'm uncomfortable. My back hurts. My mind is in Sleep Mode. I'm hungry. My dinner today consisted of three beers and a candy bar.

It's getting late. I think I'll make something to eat - - and then I'll work on the children's book that I'm writing. It's nearly complete.

Are the trees turning colors already, or is this one merely dropping dead?

  

14 comments:

  1. some of the trees up here are turning/dropping leaves already.
    you need some protein. you need sleep.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I live in N AL and between the heat and suffocating humidity, I am still miserable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Children's book, eh? THAT should be good!

    Something akin to Swift's, 'A Modest Proposal?'

    Are fava beans and Chianti mentioned?

    You and Ron should collaborate, since you both love kids so much! lol!

    :-)

    -Andy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heck, Andy, I don't want to eat the kids - - I just want to kill them.

      Delete
  4. Children's book: Watch Jon Hobble. See Jon Drunk. Jon Pops Pills. Watch Jon Fall. It could be a series like Harry Potter. Brilliant!

    You need a Vodka Fountain and a Pez dispenser for oxycodone.

    Hope your back feels better soon!

    It could be worse!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My influence on children could be profound....

      Delete
  5. "Politics in America has sunk..." Jon, people may disagree strongly with your assessment of one candidate or another but can't disagree with your general opinion of current politics. It makes them cranky --and ought to.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have kicked and screamed as we leave summer soon, but must admit I already am in love with the cool mornings and evenings and warmer days. Sleeping like a baby at night wig windows wide open as always anyhow. And like I said, I'm writing in RuPaul gor president. She can't do worst.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Replies
    1. You'll have to wait until my next post to find out....

      Delete
  8. Deplorable, hee-hee! I wish I were as objective as you regarding the candidates. (Stroke, party of one ...)
    For what it's worth, I'm happy you've Nancy nearby.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You writing a children's book made me laugh. Are you going to scare the bejabbers out of them?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've guessed it, Paula. My book is a collection of scary poetry

      Delete
  10. We were in Tennessee last week, and it WAS hot. Then we came home, and it was even HOTTER. Come on, autumn!

    I just love that you're writing a children's book. :)

    ReplyDelete

I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.