Monday, April 3, 2017

FORTY QUESTIONS





Somebody gave me a list of 100 questions to answer. Since that is way too long, I tried to narrow it down to about half - in no particular order.

Why the ducks??
Because it's raining all the time. Good weather for quackers.


1. Are you lazy?
Let's just say that I'm often too lethargic to even consider taking a nap.

2. What do you eat for breakfast?
I never eat breakfast. It ruins my appetite for lunch or dinner.

3. Coffee or tea?
I'm a tea addict - hot or iced. 

4. What was your very first job?
Dishwasher at the Orange Convalescent Home in Buena Park, California.

5. Occupation you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A private detective, or an actor.

6. What is the most unusual job you ever had?
An assistant at a mortuary (that lasted about a week).
A chauffeur (that lasted about two weeks).
A movie extra (off and on when I lived in Hollywood).

7. Have you ever been fired from a job?
Strangely enough, I was fired from a job as a pianist. I was the accompanist for a singer in a restaurant. We clashed and I wound up telling him that he should take singing lessons. He fired me. He also owned the restaurant.

8. Describe yourself in three words.
Enigmatic, versatile, unconventional.

9. What's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?
A few things that come to mind aren't printable (lol).
I've eaten rattlesnake and reindeer (not at the same time).

10. What is your favorite movie quote?
"I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair."

Bette Davis said that, in the 1932 movie Cabin in the Cotton.   

11. What is your least favorite movie?
That's difficult. I think three of the most over-rated films are Citizen Kane, Doctor Zhivago, and Titanic.

12. Were you ever a Boy/Girl Scout?
Nope. I wouldn't have lasted twenty minutes.

13. Describe the perfect kiss in three words.
Intense, probing, lingering.

14. The last person you kissed.
A Boy Scout.
Don't panic. I just wanted to see how alert you are.

15. If you were gay, who would you want to have a passionate affair with?
You're really putting the nails in my coffin, aren't you?
Let's see - -  how about maybe... Ryan Kwanten, Rob James-Collier, or....... Julian Assange (wry humor here).
Oh! Jason Hardy the opera singer.
Is that too many? Well hell - you only live once. 

....and my readers are rushing to Google those names.... 

16. Are you an innie or an outie?
Are we talking about belly buttons or........?
If it's navels, I'm probably an "innie". If it's another appendage, you might say I'm an outie....
Just ignore this. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.  

17. Introvert or extrovert?
Absolute introvert.

18. Would you ever pose nude in a magazine?
Well, that puts the kibosh on my previous answer. Despite being an introvert, I have posed for some nude photo sessions when I lived in Hollywood.
Of course, I was young and hot then.
And soused.
And probably high on grass. 
And I knew the photographer. Intimately.
Am I saying too much?  

19. What have you forgotten?
If I had forgotten it, why would I be remembering it now??
Actually, there are many things I'd like to forget. Including nude photo sessions.

20. What color is your underwear?
What makes you think I'm wearing any?
Actually, if you must know, they're white Fruit of the Looms.

21. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
I've been cutting my own hair since I was twenty - - and, Gawd knows, it looks like it.....

22. Do you think you are selfish?
I am basically selfish (he says with regret).
This probably stems from being an only child. I never had to share or compromise or compete with siblings.

23. What are you afraid of? 
Sickness, poverty, old age, senility, death.   

24. Do you think people are basically good or bad?
I believe that evil is predominately the essence of humanity. The world is a cesspool.  

I've always been a realist - - which irritates the hell out of some people.

25. Do you believe everyone deserves forgiveness?
Absolutely not. Some things are unforgivable.

26. Are you self-critical?
I am relentlessly self-critical - - almost to the point of being psychotically self-critical. 
I can probably thank my father for this. He criticized me mercilessly his entire life.  

27. What is the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?
Hey - how much time do we have?
I suppose one of the meanest was when my father handed me a loaded gun and begged me to kill myself.  

28. What's the meanest thing you've ever said?
I'm guilty of having said some unforgivably cruel things in my time. The blind wrath of anger is extremely unbecoming.  

29. Do you believe in a higher power?
Yes. I wouldn't be presumptuous enough to think that nothing is greater than mere mortals.

30. What's your idea of heaven? 
Music, writing, books, art, creativity, learning, discovering, making love, peace, security, the eternal astonishment of nature

31. What's your idea of hell?
The harsh, brutal, merciless realities of life in an imperfect world.

32. What makes you nostalgic?
Remembering the past and the good times (while conveniently expunging the bad...). I am  deeply sentimental, nostalgic, and melancholic. I have a poetic soul. 

33. What is your biggest regret?
I have more regrets than I would ever care to reveal or ever want to remember.
Anyone who says they have no regrets is either lying or......delusional.... 

34. How many times in a day do you look in a mirror?
I avoid mirrors as much as possible. The last time I looked in one, I thought I was wearing a Halloween mask.

35. What time of day do you feel most energetic?
Being notoriously nocturnal, I don't start fully waking up until after dark. I'm probably most energetic between the hours of midnight and dawn.  

36. Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump?
Not while I was sober or sane. Let's put it this way: I get acute anxiety attacks even when I'm on  terra firma.

37. Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?
Hell, I'm poor and unhappy now. I might as well be rich and unhappy. 

38. What did your father teach you?
Unmitigated fear, profound insecurity, unrelenting hate, an agonizing sense of worthlessness, and an intense penchant for self-destruction.

39. What did your mother teach you?
The ability to survive and regenerate, the quest to learn and to discover, the value of self-worth, the power of love, the necessity of humor, the solace of forgiveness.

40. The most agonizing hour of your life?
The day that my mother died.  
  
                        

22 comments:

  1. What fun. Delicious tidbits. INSIGHTFUL.

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    1. I'm glad you liked it. I'm sometimes hesitant to post these loooong personal things.

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  2. We are an awful lot not alike! :)

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    1. I would be alarmed if there was anyone else exactly like me....

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  3. I looked forward to reading that!!! It wouldn't be you without the humor in some of the answers. Yet another thing in common. I too wanted to be a private detective. Mother wouldn't allow it. I also thought of porn star once, but feared they'd make me a permanet bottom,lol!!!!! Hey I enjoy sex, may as well get paid for it!!! Lovely read Jon

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    1. I'm always delighted when my humor is appreciated (incredibly, not everyone thinks I'm funny...).
      I'd still like to be a private detective. My interest in porn stardom is definitely over.

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  4. Interesting to read so much about you. Think I've known you long enough to know a lot of the answers already though.

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    1. Every time I write a blog post, I'm afraid that someone will remember it (*smile*).

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  5. First of all, I'm so enjoying these Q-n-A posts! (Whatever happened to '35' some days ago?)
    Your humor - and best, your candor, is wonderfully refreshing.
    #22, #23, #25 ... yes!
    #27? My heart hurts for the child inside you.
    #32, #33? Seriously scary, how much these words mirror the way I would respond if asked the same question.

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    1. Thanks, Myra. I always try to be candid...but it's a matter of debate as to whether or not I'm refreshing.

      After I did the post with 35 questions, I realized that I'd already done a very similar one before - - so I removed that post after only two days.
      I think these 40 new questions are more interesting.

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  6. I always enjoy learning more about you. :)
    (I'd chat more but I've been sick for over a week.)

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    1. I'm sorry to hear that you're sick, Rita - and I really hope your eyesight is finally improving. Take care!

      I've been suffering from excruciating back pain. Today I can hardly walk - which makes it nearly impossible to clean those darn litter boxes!!

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  7. Hi Jon:
    I'm retiring soon. Was supposed to be last Friday 03/31 my 61st. bday. Honest, I'm 61, although there are still some spots on the eternal internet where I'm 39 but I digress. When people at work asked me what would I do if I run out of money, I responded "internet porn". That thought and image shut them up right there.
    I enjoyed the questions and your responses. Thank you.

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  8. Congratulations on your soon-to-be retirement!
    If I knew there was any serious money in Internet porn, I'd try it. It sure as hell beats hitchhiking on Santa Monica Boulevard (not that I ever did it, of course......).

    I'm glad you enjoyed my responses. I usually answer questions by saying the very first thing that pops into my mind - - and then I regret it later.

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  9. Ah, #23, we are afraid of the same things, Jon. Called my GP this a.m. and told his receptionist I feel twice as bad with the pills he proscribed last week. He called back and said "break each pill in half". This is life now. Do you think one might get used to it?

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  10. Break each pill in half? Well, look at the bright side - you will have twice as many pills.

    Geo - if I listed all the things that I'm afraid of, it would fill several very long posts. I tried to narrow it down.

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  11. What a fantastic load of answers to these questions. They made me laugh - and sigh, and a couple of times I wanted to cry - you old emotional blackmailer, you- ! My favourite question was No 16. I don't know what it meant either, so plenty of scope. But I laughed out loud at the idea of being too lethargic to even take a nap.

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    1. Thanks so much for you input, Jenny - I appreciate it. I enjoy answering these kinds of questions. I always say the first thing that comes into my head - and I try to be as honest as possible.

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  12. Very interesting.....

    Melanie

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    1. Thanks, Melanie. I hope your toe is healing and not too painful. What a rotten thing to happen!

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  13. Jon,

    Took the easy way today. I copied and answered these questions on my Curmudgeon Row blog.

    Larry

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    1. I'd love to read your answers, Larry. I'll check it out soon.

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I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.