Monday, April 3, 2017
Somebody gave me a list of 100 questions to answer. Since that is way too long, I tried to narrow it down to about half - in no particular order.
Why the ducks??
Because it's raining all the time. Good weather for quackers.
1. Are you lazy?
Let's just say that I'm often too lethargic to even consider taking a nap.
2. What do you eat for breakfast?
I never eat breakfast. It ruins my appetite for lunch or dinner.
3. Coffee or tea?
I'm a tea addict - hot or iced.
4. What was your very first job?
Dishwasher at the Orange Convalescent Home in Buena Park, California.
5. Occupation you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A private detective, or an actor.
6. What is the most unusual job you ever had?
An assistant at a mortuary (that lasted about a week).
A chauffeur (that lasted about two weeks).
A movie extra (off and on when I lived in Hollywood).
7. Have you ever been fired from a job?
Strangely enough, I was fired from a job as a pianist. I was the accompanist for a singer in a restaurant. We clashed and I wound up telling him that he should take singing lessons. He fired me. He also owned the restaurant.
8. Describe yourself in three words.
Enigmatic, versatile, unconventional.
9. What's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?
A few things that come to mind aren't printable (lol).
I've eaten rattlesnake and reindeer (not at the same time).
10. What is your favorite movie quote?
"I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair."
Bette Davis said that, in the 1932 movie Cabin in the Cotton.
11. What is your least favorite movie?
That's difficult. I think three of the most over-rated films are Citizen Kane, Doctor Zhivago, and Titanic.
12. Were you ever a Boy/Girl Scout?
Nope. I wouldn't have lasted twenty minutes.
13. Describe the perfect kiss in three words.
Intense, probing, lingering.
14. The last person you kissed.
A Boy Scout.
Don't panic. I just wanted to see how alert you are.
15. If you were gay, who would you want to have a passionate affair with?
You're really putting the nails in my coffin, aren't you?
Let's see - - how about maybe... Ryan Kwanten, Rob James-Collier, or....... Julian Assange (wry humor here).
Oh! Jason Hardy the opera singer.
Is that too many? Well hell - you only live once.
....and my readers are rushing to Google those names....
16. Are you an innie or an outie?
Are we talking about belly buttons or........?
If it's navels, I'm probably an "innie". If it's another appendage, you might say I'm an outie....
Just ignore this. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
17. Introvert or extrovert?
18. Would you ever pose nude in a magazine?
Well, that puts the kibosh on my previous answer. Despite being an introvert, I have posed for some nude photo sessions when I lived in Hollywood.
Of course, I was young and hot then.
And probably high on grass.
And I knew the photographer. Intimately.
Am I saying too much?
19. What have you forgotten?
If I had forgotten it, why would I be remembering it now??
Actually, there are many things I'd like to forget. Including nude photo sessions.
20. What color is your underwear?
What makes you think I'm wearing any?
Actually, if you must know, they're white Fruit of the Looms.
21. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
I've been cutting my own hair since I was twenty - - and, Gawd knows, it looks like it.....
22. Do you think you are selfish?
I am basically selfish (he says with regret).
This probably stems from being an only child. I never had to share or compromise or compete with siblings.
23. What are you afraid of?
Sickness, poverty, old age, senility, death.
24. Do you think people are basically good or bad?
I believe that evil is predominately the essence of humanity. The world is a cesspool.
I've always been a realist - - which irritates the hell out of some people.
25. Do you believe everyone deserves forgiveness?
Absolutely not. Some things are unforgivable.
26. Are you self-critical?
I am relentlessly self-critical - - almost to the point of being psychotically self-critical.
I can probably thank my father for this. He criticized me mercilessly his entire life.
27. What is the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?
Hey - how much time do we have?
I suppose one of the meanest was when my father handed me a loaded gun and begged me to kill myself.
28. What's the meanest thing you've ever said?
I'm guilty of having said some unforgivably cruel things in my time. The blind wrath of anger is extremely unbecoming.
29. Do you believe in a higher power?
Yes. I wouldn't be presumptuous enough to think that nothing is greater than mere mortals.
30. What's your idea of heaven?
Music, writing, books, art, creativity, learning, discovering, making love, peace, security, the eternal astonishment of nature.
31. What's your idea of hell?
The harsh, brutal, merciless realities of life in an imperfect world.
32. What makes you nostalgic?
Remembering the past and the good times (while conveniently expunging the bad...). I am deeply sentimental, nostalgic, and melancholic. I have a poetic soul.
33. What is your biggest regret?
I have more regrets than I would ever care to reveal or ever want to remember.
Anyone who says they have no regrets is either lying or......delusional....
34. How many times in a day do you look in a mirror?
I avoid mirrors as much as possible. The last time I looked in one, I thought I was wearing a Halloween mask.
35. What time of day do you feel most energetic?
Being notoriously nocturnal, I don't start fully waking up until after dark. I'm probably most energetic between the hours of midnight and dawn.
36. Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump?
Not while I was sober or sane. Let's put it this way: I get acute anxiety attacks even when I'm on terra firma.
37. Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?
Hell, I'm poor and unhappy now. I might as well be rich and unhappy.
38. What did your father teach you?
Unmitigated fear, profound insecurity, unrelenting hate, an agonizing sense of worthlessness, and an intense penchant for self-destruction.
39. What did your mother teach you?
The ability to survive and regenerate, the quest to learn and to discover, the value of self-worth, the power of love, the necessity of humor, the solace of forgiveness.
40. The most agonizing hour of your life?
The day that my mother died.