Bosco and Scruffy
waving bye-bye as I embark for town
You're also completely full of yourself, Jon.
Hell, if you have it - - flaunt it.
Actually I'm full of other things: I had two beers, several lethal doses of Daytime NyQuil, and two aspirins that are outdated by a year and a half.
I tried to buy aspirin in the Walmart pharmacy today...but couldn't find any!!
I did a search worthy of Hercule Poirot and came up empty. Where the hell do they hide them? I found rainbow-colored condoms and an alarming array of feminine hygiene products that were beyond my comprehension. But no aspirin.
Yes, I made the perilous and infinitely long journey into town today. The sole reason being that I was completely out of cat food. Again.
Why don't you stockpile cat food, Jon, so you have an extra supply at home?
That would be a great idea if I was a millionaire. Unfortunately, after spending a small fortune on cat food, litter, and other feline supplies - I hardly have enough left for human food.
Yea, I'm human. Some of you will find that debatable , but tough noogies.
Those damn cats eat better than I do.
Speaking of cats, Scruffy has been having bad asthma attacks lately. I can't imagine why but I've been monitoring her carefully.
As most of my regular readers know, I always go into a severe panic mode when I have to drive to town. The narrow, winding, dangerous mountain roads completely unnerve me.
How unnerved do you get, Jon?
Let's put it this way:
I'd rather be hung upside down, with bamboo shoots wedged under my fingernails, and a group of male orangutans peeing on me.
I don't think I had an hour of sleep last night. I kept getting back spasms so severe that my screams were heard in Kentucky. I sounded like Kirsten Flagstad on a bad day.
Driving to town is bad enough. Doing it in the company of agonizing spasms is worse.
I have no doubt that I'm being punished for past sins. God is probably laughing so hard that he blew a fart and fell off his throne.
It was a very warm, muggy day.
82 degrees outside......and 175 degrees in the car (that's Fahrenheit, for those of you in Krakatoa).
By the time I got home all the frozen food was thawed, the icing melted off the donuts, and the cottage cheese curdled.
And then I remembered several things that I forgot to buy.
Everything where I live is on a mountainous slant. I have to literally PUSH the door of the car open with both feet (try that with mega back spasms). Then I have to tote all the groceries up a hill to the back door - while trekking through ten-foot-high weeds and being mercilessly attacked by wasps and carpenter bees.
This is getting monotonously long, but I wanted you to get an idea of my dire predicament. Rural life is less than enchanting.
BTW - I got a tick bite on my ankle yesterday. I always have bad reactions from tick bites. Last summer it took me over a month to recover from one. This one is swollen and itching like hell.
Have I said enough?
Heck, I haven't even warmed up.