Sunday, April 30, 2017

FUN IN TEXAS

 Twin Buttes
near San Angelo

On my previous post, on my replies in the comment section, I mentioned the fact that I've often used the herb valerian to calm my nerves. That suddenly reminded me of something that happened when I lived in Texas.

I lived in three different towns in West Texas. San Angelo was definitely the most challenging of the three (I'm being very polite with my choice of words).
I'll cut to the chase and get to the valerian story:

Directly behind my house was another house filled with illegal aliens (or immigrants - - "aliens" sounds too outer spacey).

Their back yard was filled with dogs in cages. I don't know whether they bred them or just sold them for taco meat, but it was slightly unnerving. They always kept one particular dog running loose (as a guard...or perhaps a mascot). 
Anyway the loose dog was a non-stop barker. It barked 24/7 and annoyed the holy spirit out of me (among other things). The worst thing was that I couldn't sleep from the incessant nighttime barking.

An aside:
there was no chance of calling the police or Animal Control, because laws don't exist in San Angelo. Trust me on this.

Finally - completely unhinged from lack of sleep - I decided to take matters into my own trembling hands. 
Should I kill the dog? Shoot him?  Smother him?
Naw. I might be a bitch. But I'm usually a sweet bitch.
I decided to sedate him.

This is where the dog lovers are gasping in shock.
This is also why I love cats. They don't bark.

I'd never sedated a pooch before and wondered what I could use. I certainly didn't want to lethally harm him. Well, not much anyway.....

Suddenly-
it dawned on me that I could use valerian root. I've taken that herb very often to sedate myself (God knows, in Texas I needed it). It sure as hell wouldn't hurt to try it on a dog.

I grabbed a leftover hot dog, split it open, and stuffed it with some valerian.
Fed it to the dog (who gobbled it greedily). And waited.
Voila!
Within twenty minutes Rover calmed down, stopped barking........and I got some much-needed sleep.

It sure as hell didn't solve all my Texas problems, but it was a pleasant interlude.

While I have your attention, I'll mention a few more things about my San Angelo neighbors.

The neighbor to my right was a woman who ran a "daycare" center with about thirty screaming kids (I kid you not!).
Here's the kicker: 
She drank and (I strongly suspected) dabbled in drugs. Her son was arrested for giving alcohol and drugs to minors.
AND
let's insert a drum roll here for effect
The woman rented her upstairs rooms to prostitutes.
I swear to Gawd I couldn't make this stuff up.

Are you ready for more? Take a deep breath and hold onto your garters before reading this one. 

The neighbors to my left were drug dealers and at least twenty people lived in the house.
One of the many residents was a huge - and I mean horrendously alarmingly huge - woman who got angry at me 
(I won't divulge details on a public blog)
 and shot at my house numerous times!

And I won't mention the fact that her drug-dealing cronies despised me and used to follow, threaten, and intimidate me......it's a pathetically long story.

  Big Mama was eventually wanted for murder....and she was featured on the TV show America's Most Wanted.
By this time she fled Texas and went to Louisiana - - where she was murdered by some of her drug-dealing "friends".
They cut off her fingers, stuffed her ample body into a car, and set it on fire!

I'm tempted to mention her name - - but I won't.

These are just a few of my Texas adventures. There were many more, far worse ones - - but I'll spare you. 




The photos were taken at Twin Buttes, near San Angelo, where I used to go hiking. I encountered lots of rattlesnakes.

29 comments:

  1. Shit, the rattle snakes sound the least of your worries dear. I am also thinking that Tennessee is like a relaxing topical island now compared to where you lived. Good Grief!!!!!

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    1. If I ever wrote about all the adventures in my life nobody would believe it. I try to restrain myself in this blog.
      Living here in the wilderness has many inconveniences, but I do savor the PEACE and PRIVACY. My neighbors are cows (real ones) and I love them.

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  2. You're a pretty colorful character but it sounds like your surroundings could give you a run for your money. I've been watching a show called Texas Flip and Move. I think most of the people are from the Fort Worth area. Another popular show originates in Waco. Both of those towns seem nice but I'm sure the producers aren't showing their seedier sides.
    Valarian always gave me weird dreams.

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    1. Fort Worth is a whole different world from the wilds of West Texas. I have a cousin who lives in Ft. Worth.
      Valerian has different effects on different people. It has a mild effect on me (I always have very weird dreams).

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  3. Jon, I had to cackle. This is movie 🎥 worthy. Your stories of your life continue to intrigue me.

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    1. I'm always delighted when I make people cackle. My entire life would be movie-worthy. It's sort of a cross between Woody Allen and Fellini.

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  4. Sounds like the rattlesnakes could have been considerably more charming than the neighbours....

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    1. You're definitely right about that.

      BTW - when I lived in San Angelo, I found a snake in my kitchen late one night! Fortunately it wasn't poisonous.

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  5. Woo-hoo for Karma, come to pay a visit to Big Mama!
    Actually, that was sweet of you to give bowser a respite. Poor guy sounds dangerously close to a canine stroke. The only thing missing was your tip-toeing over while he was 'napping' and releasing all the other dogs.

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    1. In retrospect, I doubt if I would ever sedate a dog again - but at the time I was delirious with desperation.

      Big Mama was frightening. She was part black and part Mexican and over six-feet tall. She definitely got what she deserved.

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  6. Wow, I don't think you told quite all this story when you actually lived there! I think I would have set fire to the house, cut my losses, and moved away. That's scary. I do remember the barking dogs and other things about those neighbors.

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    1. I lived in three west TX towns and San Angelo was definitely the worst when it came to neighbors. The last town where I lived in Texas was much more tame - - although the high school history teacher was arrested for manufacturing drugs and selling them to HER students!!!

      I'm content being here with the cows, Donna.

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  7. Tell e what you think of Rowina and Ballenger.

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    1. I liked Ballenger...but I can't recall Rowina.
      Actually - despite having rotten neighbors - there is something very intriguing about West TX. There were definitely things that I liked (even though I'm not fond of the heat). And, to be fair, there were some nice people. And I miss AUTHENTIC Mexican food!

      I almost considered moving to Pecos. There isn't much around there, but it's peaceful.

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  8. what a colorful neighborhood you lived in. one story after another. book worthy indeed. the landscape is lovely.

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    1. The landscape is lovely around San Angelo. West Texas is very surrealistic - especially during those massive wind storms. In a strange way, it's almost wildly romantic...

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  9. I've never tried valerian, but am considering it after a day of panic attacks --possibly brought on by bad air. California basins still produce the worst air in the country. I been indoors, a bubble boy all day. Too bad you had such awful neighbors in Texas, but I think you'll find their counterparts spread evenly through every state. You think valerian in a hot dog will help keep me from barking all day?

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    1. Geo, I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety attacks - but I can strongly identify with them. I still suffer from them - especially when I'm alone here late at night. I've been extremely stressed and anxiety-prone my entire life.

      I certainly remember all those smog-alerts in Southern Cal. They made me extremely ill - headaches, nausea, dizziness, sore throats, lethargy (I'm not kidding). I felt better physically when I moved away from the pollution (although the TX dust storms were just as bad).

      As for valerian, it's definitely worth a try. I'm sure it effects different people in different ways. I've always been afraid of all medications and feel somewhat safer when using herbs. From the research I've done, valerian root seems to be safe.
      I'm sure Norma could slip it into some of your meals and you'd never know it.

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  10. I was thinking more Rocky Horror Show on Steroids. MaggieB

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    1. ......Rocky Horror Show on steroids, with cowboy hats.....

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  11. I use to grow Valerian. They have beautiful lacy white flowers and the fragrance is wonderful. Did you ever wonder what the neighbors on both sides said about you? Gay in West Texas would be scary.

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    1. Trust me, if you're gay in West Texas, you don't dare flaunt it.

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  12. Texas sounds like your trial by fire!! OMG!

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    1. West Texas is a reasonable facsimile of Dante's Inferno.

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  13. It's a good thing you moved the hell away from there. Neighbors such as these types are everyone's nightmare. I saw a program about distinct parts of Texas where there was nothing but crime day in and day out. Mostly drug related with rampant gang violence. It looked horrible. Sounds like you experienced some of the worst yourself, Jon.

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    1. Well, my initial reply to your comment disappeared (I must have accidentally deleted it).

      I'll just say that I was shocked at the amount of crime and trashy people in parts of West Texas, and I was also stunned at the fact that it is considered "normal". Nobody seems to care.

      Also - - just between you and me (*smile*) - - I discovered that some of the police were friends of the criminals!!

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  14. Yipes, some of your past adventures inspired a teensy bit of awe in me, but not THESE! Good grief. It's a good thing you got out of that place in one piece. (You only sedated that dog ONCE?)

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  15. Yup - I only sedated the dog once. As much as he barked, I would have had to do it every night and I wasn't into that. I used earplugs....

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  16. PS) Your new post about bonbons is not coming up so I can comment.

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