Tuesday, October 17, 2017


 First of all, I finally opened my online Zazzle store
I'm still organizing stuff and making new products, which takes an annoyingly long amount of time
I'll wait until my next post to write about Zazzle and provide information and a link to the store.

I'll indulge in another of my usual haphazard (but immensely entertaining) rants.

I haven't slept in about 48 hours. Despite being accompanied by my constant companion Insomnia, I drove to town today. 
I felt like a zombie on quaaludes, but the drive was rather pleasant.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous - clear, cool, crisp, slightly breezy, with sporadic showers of golden leaves.
Vintage October.

So what about the terrifying tea, Jon?

First of all, let me confirm the fact that I'm a tea addict. My addiction began at a very early age. When I was three (yes, three) my paternal Hungarian grandmother used to serve me hot, strong tea plied with plenty of milk and sugar. I've been drinking hot, strong tea plied with plenty of milk and sugar ever since (probably about 150 years).

Two nights ago I was down to my very last teabag. Earl Grey tea. I prepared a magnificent cup - using evaporated milk (which I love) and honey. And I put it in my favorite Halloween mug.

 My eager anticipation of consuming this divine luxury was almost indescribable.
A perfect cup of tea is kind of like indulging in a sexual orgy after partaking in cannabis.

Jon, how would you know what it's like to indulge in an orgy after partaking in cannabis?

Trust me, Kemosabee. My life has been colorful. I've been around the block more times than a '57 Chevy.

So where was I? Oh yea - tea.

Anyway, I was just going to sip the tea when a large ugly gnat dove right into it. It wasn't exactly a gnat - - it was more like a quasi fruit fly of undetermined pedigree.

So why didn't you just fish it out and drink your tea, Jon?

Fish it out??!!!??
Hey, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I do have a sense of dignity. I'm not about to consume a beverage that was used as a sauna by an unidentified insect.

I dumped the entire cup of tea down the drain.

Is that the end of your story, Jon?

Hell, no. I didn't get to the terrifying part yet.
So I was in town today, doing my dreaded grocery shopping. The coffee and tea aisle was literally packed with the typical Walmart shoppers: busily talking on their cell phones, blocking the aisle with their (very) ample asses, gazing at the shelves in a mesmeric trance without any intention of ever moving.

All I wanted was a friggin' box of Twining's Breakfast Tea. I rudely reached over carts, baskets, loiterers, and ample asses - - and finally managed to grab the tea.

Mission accomplished.

It wasn't until I got home that the real terror began. When I unpacked the box of tea I discovered that it's decaffeinated!!!!

I despise anything decaffeinated. Hell, I crave the intense caffeine kick that I get from my cup of tea. Without it the tea is worthless and I'm lost.
A "normal" cup of tea is usually steeped for 3 to 5 minutes. I sometimes steep mine for 10 minutes or longer.

Unfortunately I'm stuck with the damn tea. There's no way I'm about to drive 6,000 miles back to town (slight exaggeration) to return the tea.

My next trip to town is planned (probably) for the end of the month - right before Halloween. I'll buy more tea then. And I'm going to check carefully for caffeine content before buying it.

This post was long, but look at the bright side: it's free.....and I'm good.

Until next time, may all your pleasures contain caffeine.

Another autumn tea mug (actually it's a soup mug) next to my antique Russian Wolfhound.

 My license plate
(not really - - it's a fake plate) 




  1. Those are good mugs. I love them! I thought for a moment you were going to say the owl flew at the tea mug and knocked it over.
    Look on the bright side, if you drink decaf you might sleep better :)

    1. I have a lot of tea and coffee mugs and I like to use "special" ones for the different seasons. I got that old owl on the Missouri Ozarks. I figured he would look good next to the mug.

      You're absolutely right, I'll (probably) sleep better without caffeine.

  2. I love Twining's too! It's all I use. I make my own ice tea. I use three bags of Prince of Wales, three tea bags of Dajeeling tea bags. It is so tasty. If you ever want the recipe, I'd happily share it with it. I also like milk and honey in my up tea like yourself...so nice before bed. Would it be quicker for me to just send you a couple boxes of tea jon?? I hate to have you drive again.

    Now all this tea bag talk is making me horny.

    1. I love Twinings and (fortunately) it's the only good brand that's available here in the TN boonies. Darjeeling is my absolute favorite but it is impossible to find in these rural areas (hillbillies don't drink fine tea....). I have to settle for the Breakfast Tea.
      I really should start buying tea online.

      I'm always open to hearing good tea recipes......or having sex inspired by tea bag talk....

  3. Oh gawd, not DECAF. I'm afraid I'd have to make a return trip down the mountain on my hands and knees. Maybe you should consider hiding a tea bag (or several) here and there for emergencies?
    Comedic post, for sure ... but in all seriousness, I hope you don't begin getting headaches from caffeine withdrawal.

    1. I always avoid decaf like the plague. If I had my damn reading glasses in the store I would have (probably) been able to read the label. I suppose I'll have to keep a secret stash of extra tea - - along with my stashes of cat food and litter....

      Strangely enough, I had a migraine tonight - but I think it was due to the change in the weather. It's colder now at night, and that often triggers my migraines.

  4. I never cared for hot tea but steeped tea for ice tea every day for supper when my husband was alive.

    1. The only thing that I dislike about hot tea is that it takes so much time to make (with the steeping).

      I LOVE iced tea (and I know that it's really popular with Texans). My father used to make sun tea.

  5. i totally relate to your tea drinking as an act that must be experienced on all levels. just steep the decaf bag longer and that should help until your next box gets bought. Sometime try Harney Tea. it comes in a tin and is delicous. i used to order it online but now i can get it at walmart.

    1. I've never heard of Harney Tea but I just found it in an online search and it looks delicious. I LOVE the flavors that they offer. I'll probably have to start buying tea online.

      I'll check the local Walmart and see if it's available (although I don't think they'd carry it in this rural area...).

    2. Jon,

      Oh, man, how many times I have done that. If not decaffeinated I get home to see the dreded words "diet" or "Fat Free".


    3. EXACTLY!!! I have unwittingly purchased "diet" and "fat free" items many times. There should be special stores that sell these horrors exclusively, so we innocent victims can safely avoid them.

  6. Decaffeinated, is that even legal to sell in Hooterville?

    1. I'm actually surprised that TEA is sold in Hooterville.....

  7. I'm a coffee girl, but I would have the same reaction if I accidentally picked up the unleaded stuff.
    I do drink tea occasionally and I've ordered Harney teas before. Getting them online makes a lot of sense. You can get all kinds and have it delivered by your lazy mailman--LOL! ;)

  8. I drink a lot of those "International" coffees even though they're not half as good as they used to be. Lately they seem to be just sugar with crappy artificial flavors.
    Purchasing tea online is a good idea - - despite the fact that I have little faith in the "mail carrier".

  9. I hope you
    saved that last
    tea bag and
    steeped it a
    long time

    1. Unfortunately I didn't save the last tea bag.

  10. Ok, here it is for me, Jon: 1955, my parents, siblings and I strolling Golden Gate Park when I was lifted off my feet by the most beautiful aroma I'd encountered in my 6 years --I levitated airborne to the Japanese Tea Garden and my family chased me on foot. We were served the most aromatic tea by a beautiful lady --who I wanted to marry-- in a kimono, and she warned me not to drink until it cooled. I was content just to smell tea. When I finally drank it, I was disappointed it was gone but that experience made me a tea-drinker for life. I have tried de-caf teas and herbal teas but they don't have the same magical aroma. I must have the real thing.

    1. That is such an amusing story, Geo - I could just picture you traveling airborne to the Japanese Tea Garden. Your first experience with tea was much more romantic than mine.

      Just for the record - I HATE herbal tea (and, of course, decaf)

      BTW - I (reluctantly) drank a cup of the decaf tea the other night and got a migraine headache soon afterward... I don't know if the decaf had anything to do with it, but it's a thought. It most likely was caused by the change in the weather - it's suddenly very chilly at night and my sinuses are complaining.


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