Wednesday, December 20, 2017
A RESOUNDING HUMBUG!
I planned to drive to town on Monday but got a very late start and the more I tried to embark the more I procrastinated and the more I procrastinated the less I wanted to go so eventually I said "To hell with it!"
So I went on Tuesday. Not because I wanted to, but because I had some important things to do. And I also had to get more groceries to last through the rest of this year.
There are only three places to shop in this wretched town and all of them were packed to the rafters with Christmas shoppers (Walmart, the supermarket, and the Dollar Store). There's also a Walgreens - but who the heck ever goes there?
Did I ever mention that I think Christmas should be permanently banned - and anyone who dares to celebrate it should be publicly burned on a stake?
The holiday purists are telling us that we should put "Christ" back in Christmas.
When I saw the crowded Walmart parking lot I said
"Holy Christ! What the hell am I doing here?"
Did I ever mention that children and anyone over fifty should be permanently banned from shopping? They are always in the way. Always!!!
Well, on second thought, probably anyone over sixty....
(70 per cent of my blog readers are groaning)
Walmart employees are always in the way, too. They congregate in the aisles talking to friends. There was a massive congregation in the coffee and tea aisle, all talking and embracing like it was a 75th year class reunion. I had to rudely break it up in order to get my cappuccino and English breakfast tea.
Did I ever mention that the price of groceries is much higher here in Tennessee than it was in Texas? No matter how much I spend I only get half of what I need. And I don't have much to spend so I only get a fraction of half.
Don't ponder that for too long. You'll hurt yourself.
I couldn't get any holiday "goodies". Fancy Christmas cookies were seven dollars a dozen. The "Reduced Price" shelf (my favorite haunt) didn't have any pies or cakes this time. Only bread. So I stocked up on bread.
Did I ever mention that you can no longer get candy canes? I'm talking good old fashioned peppermint red and white striped candy canes.
They have cherry candy canes, and fruit-flavored candy canes, bubble gum candy canes, Skittle candy canes (God help us), sour apple candy canes (no I'm not kidding).
But where the hell are the peppermint ones??
Admittedly, there were so many fat asses blocking the candy aisle that it was nearly impossible to look. I left empty-handed.
In the supermarket I bought six navel oranges for five dollars. Six!
I suppose they're shipped to Tennessee by wagon train from California.
Which reminds me that I had initially planned to write a post about all the good holiday winter food I used to get in California. Every other place pales in comparison.
So here I am on a rainy night, sipping tea, and vowing that I won't go out again until after the holidays.
It's supposed to get very cold again by Christmas. Snow, perhaps?