Monday, March 12, 2018


 The recent damnable but inevitable clock change took me by surprise this time around. I had completely forgotten about it.

Fortunately, I was prepared. I refused to turn my clocks back an hour last fall - - so consequently I didn't have to turn them ahead this time.

Springing an hour ahead means that we lost an hour, doesn't it? Hell, if I subtracted all the precious hours I lost in my life (for one reason or another) I'd be timeless.
Ponder that for awhile. It might get profound.

I've been under such an enormous amount of stress lately (for endlessly complicated reasons that I won't go into) that I've been plagued with panic attacks and dizzy spells. Nothing new here. I've suffered from similar anxieties my entire life.

Last Friday morning, when I first got out of bed, I was seized by a combination dizzy spell and panic attack - which was compounded by the fact that I  didn't have my glasses or contact lenses, so I couldn't see a damn thing.

I unceremoniously crashed into a bookcase and everything came tumbling down: cheap Chinese vases, brass trinkets from India.....and, of course, books. A ton (or so it seemed) of dust-covered books that I hadn't read in years.

I was hit in the head with the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. 
Lying there dazed amongst the clutter, I decided that it could have been worse. I could have been clobbered by Ayn Rand or Dostoevsky.

Fortunately nothing was broken - - except my pride...and perhaps my will to live.
The three cats gathered 'round and looked surprised.

As if my poor excuse for a life wasn't tainted with enough problems, the almost-springlike weather has vanished and winter has returned with a vengeance. Howling winds, bitter cold, ice, and a semblance of snow.

I desperately needed to get to my mailbox this morning. The accumulating ice, frozen mud, impenetrable slush, and falling snow made it impossible to use the car.
So I walked. As usual. It was frigid and beyond miserable. By the time I crawled back up the mountain to my shack, I was nearly frozen and on the verge of passing out.

Safely (??) back inside, I suddenly realized that I couldn't feel my feet. I pried my muddy boots off carefully, hoping that a collection of frozen toes wouldn't tumble out.
They didn't.

In the muddled void of my shivering contemplation (whatever that means), I realized that losing an hour might not be a bad thing after all. It will bring me an hour closer to July, when hopefully the ice will thaw out.

A view this morning from my back porch.

I'm way behind in reading blogs lately. But I'm thinking of you. 


  1. I still don't understand why we do the time change thing anymore. We still have the same amount of day light hours way or the other.

    Thinking of me? That must be why my hears were ringing.....

    1. That unnecessary time change annoys the hell out of me - there's absolutely no reason for it.

      When I'm thinking of you, your ears will be burning.

  2. Scary to read about you being up there all alone with dizziness.

    1. There are many times when I get extremely unnerved, knowing that I'm so isolated here. I'm not as brave as I pretend to be...

  3. i was saddened to hear about the books and things that took a tumble with you. but heartwarmed to hear your collection of frozen toes didn't spill out of your boots later in the day.

    1. Well, at least nothing was broken. I'm really getting weary of the cold weather - especially in this frigid house. The "simple" life isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

  4. Jon, hopefully you got some exciting mail from exotic places to compensate for cold weather,crap in your life and dreadful weather. I can't stand cold weather.
    In my life I made some stupid choices but never end up living in the bush. Isolation and cold ,you are brave. Years ago my neighbours moved back to Hungary and doing fine ,even bought a beautiful half of the house. Now they are on pension and living life that you need millions here. Warm regards from Australia.

    1. I did get mail from some friends in California (where I was raised) - which at least warmed my heart. All of my ancestors were originally from Hungary...and I'm sure that I probably still have relatives there.

      I thought life in the wilderness would be simple and uncomplicated. Unfortunately I was wrong.
      Thanks for stopping by, Hope.

  5. I wish they'd just pick one or the other and stick to it year round. Throws me ff longer each time the older I get.

    So sorry you had such a tumble...and glad you didn't get hurt! When I read your title I immediately thought--all hours are never regained. We just have now...scattered with memories and plans--LOL! ;)

    1. "Scattered with memories and plans" -
      I love that! It's so true.

      The clock change ritual is extremely annoying and completely useless. I do my best to ignore it - - but the inconvenience of it persists..

  6. That's a lot of negative for sure - but thankfully you weren't knocked out by some object flying off the bookshelf. Living in the wilderness sounds appealing, but it would have its fair share of drawbacks.

    I did it once... lived in a rustic log cabin with no power, no indoor plumbing, just a wood stove with a rickety outhouse in the deep woods. One winter and I was done.

    I've sent you a few pics on email. It's the most snowfall we've ever had. Don't worry, your muck will dry up soon and the sunshine will warm the bones.

    1. I have such mixed feelings about living in the wilderness. I love the peace and serenity of nature - - with no annoying neighbors - - but there are also MANY inconveniences and complications.

      I don't think I'd mind the cold if this house wasn't so frigid. It doesn't heat well at all, and my last utility bill was astronomical. Since then, I hardly turn the heat on at all - no matter how cold it gets.
      Wow - I wouldn't want to live without power or indoor plumbing! I admire your courage. Obviously a year was long enough.

      I'm always slow getting around to my email - but I'll look forward to seeing your snow pics.