Friday, March 30, 2018

SINISTER EASTER BUNNIES




That's me, with the Easter Bunny. It doesn't look much like me - but, of course, the photo was taken about 150 years ago.

I was an extremely timid kid, but I was never a crybaby. I wasn't afraid of Easter Bunnies or Santa Claus. I was also extremely gullible. I had complete confidence in fluffy rabbits bearing gifts. I would have (probably) willingly gone home with a candy-carrying serial killer.

Nowadays many children seem to be unduly neurotic. Of course, nowadays those sleazy shopping mall Easter Bunnies look much more bizarre and foreboding than the ones I encountered as a child.
Some of these present-day bunnies could inspire adults to crap in their pants.


Easter Joy


Twin Screams


Abduction from the Walmart parking lot

"Pleeeze! Do whatever you want with my brother - - but let me go!!!!"

Long after midnight, waiting for the train to Kasimov. 


Twelve minutes after this photo was taken, the cat dropped dead from fright.

Don't let the costume fool you. He's either an escapee from Sing-Sing....or Bellevue.
Is that rabbit a HE or a SHE??? Whatever gender, it's scary as hell.

"The bunny smells kinda funny. I think he's dead."

The bunny isn't half as scary as that kid's hair. It looks like a Fruit Loop bird crapped on her head.

Rabbit of the Living Dead,
clutching a zombie baby 

 Jeepers Creepers!
It's Lucifer - - bunny from hell!!

Twenty years later the kid is doing remarkably well - - except for an intense aversion to carrot cake and Harry Potter spectacles.


Is that a carrot in your crotch, or are you just happy to see me?

(I'd hate to venture a guess as to what's in that trash bag)

 FINAL SCORE
Canine: One
Bunny: Zero


21 comments:

  1. First I gotta say, you were one adorable little boy! Second, wondering why my loving parents never cared enough to let their only child visit an Easter bunny? (lol) 'Guessing, their uber-religious values probably deemed that sacrilegious.

    These images are hysterical, but I wonder why grown-ups think it's funny to scare the dickens out of their offspring. I hope it was Mr. Pepto-Bismol man that fell prey to the black lab!

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    1. I'd give anything to have those "adorable", innocent years back....

      I only remember two visits to the Easter Bunny - once when my cousins took me, and once when I went with my parents (the above photo). Fortunately both experiences were pleasant.

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  2. I don't recall being afraid either. But I think we should have known I was gay when I enjoyed being on the lap of a man!!!! But I believe I liked the Easter more.

    HAPPY EASTER JON 🐰🐣🐰

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    1. I was a late bloomer. I didn't start enjoying laps until after I hit puberty....
      Happy Easter, Maddie!

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  3. Geez, Louise, those pictures are hysterical! I like how you started with your smiling pic as an intro. :) Cutie.

    I don't remember ever seeing anyone dressed up as an Easter Bunny. If they were around, I sure never went to see them. Then again, I never sat on Santa's lap, either... until I was an adult. :)

    It's funny that you were gullible and trusting. So was I. (Still am, for the most part.) With our fathers being the way they were, one would think we would've been distrustful, ya know? When I was in the first grade, I was walking home from school in the pouring rain with a useless piece of newspaper over my head (provided by my teacher) when a man stopped his car and offered me a ride home. I didn't even hesitate. Luckily, he was a nice man and he delivered me safely to the house. Before I got out, though, he scolded me and said I should NEVER get into a car with strangers. (Didn't stop me, though. But those were different times...)

    Happy Easter!

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    1. I think there are a lot more Easter Bunnies around nowadays than there were when I was a child. I only recall a few of them.

      You're right about us being trustful and gullible despite our fathers. Although as a child I was always VERY uncomfortable around men and always preferred being with ladies. It wasn't until I was in junior high school and many of my teachers were men, that I realized not all men were monsters.

      Your so fortunate that a kind person brought you home from school - but, as you said, those were different times.

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  4. So glad Easter bunnies never caught on here, specially not the giant ones. There's not much you can do to make an egg look frightening, once you've explored the possibilities of Humpty Dumpty, and so they don't have giant eggs here either. Or giant anything, at Easter, as far as I know. Santa is bad enough.

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    1. There seems to be a surplus of Easter Bunnies and Santas here in the U.S. - - and there are far more nowadays than when I was a child. I think the adults enjoy it more than the children.

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  5. LOL! OMG! Those are soooo creepy!! I admit yours doesn't look quite as creepy as the rest of them, though. What was the movie with the creepy rabbit and a teenage boy in it? Was just bizarre! Anyways, you made my Easter, my friend.

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    1. When I was a child Easter Bunnies were not nearly as scary as they are today. I think they try to incorporate Halloween into Easter.

      The movie you're thinking of is probably "Donnie Darko" - but I only have a vague memory of it.
      Have a great Easter, Rita!

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    2. Yes!! Donny Darko! What a sinister rabbit on that movie, too. The thing I remember most is the rabbit...not a whole lot else--hehe!

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  6. laugh out loud funny - a proper Easter treat .

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    1. I'm always delighted when I can make someone laugh. Thanks, Angela!

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  7. i enjoyed these pics. i don't recall ever visiting the easter bunny when i was a kid. i most likely would have cried. happy easter jon.

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    1. So far as I can remember, I only saw the Easter Bunny twice. And it was less than thrilling. Happy Easter!

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  8. I always look forward to your unusual Easter Bunnies.

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  9. I always have fun doing this. I hope you and John have a wonderful Easter!

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  10. Great Easter post, Jon. I delight in the photos. My favorite, of course, is the first one --surprising how much younger you look without your moustache!

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    1. In retrospect, I did look slightly younger without the mustache.

      I initially had a serious Easter post lined up, but then I dumped it for this at the last moment.

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  11. There are some creepy looking Easter bunnies there Jon!
    Ron

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    1. Bunnies are supposed to be cute, Ron. I don't know why so many Easter Bunnies are terrifying.

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