Wednesday, June 20, 2018
HAVING FUN GOING TO TOWN
I had an incredible migraine headache this morning, which was probably the result of all the crap I went through yesterday.
Yesterday I was forced to drive to town, because I was completely out of supplies: no food, no cat food or litter, no toilet paper.
Several of my most delicate readers were shocked when - on a previous blog post - I happened to mention toilet paper.
My response is to lighten up and face reality. We ALL use it. And if you don't, I sure as hell would like to know why not.
Anyway, I drove to town yesterday.
The first thing I did was to pack an entire month of full trash bags into the car.
There is NO trash pickup in this rural place. You have to haul all your trash by yourself to the Trash Center in town.
It's a helluva traumatic situation for me, since I live a zillion miles (give or take) from town and only go about once a month. I cringe every time I have to stuff huge, smelly trash bags into my car.
It's even worse now that it's 90 degrees (that's Fahrenheit, for those of you in Zurich). The interior of the car is about 567 degrees and the odious bags of trash start to decompose in about two minutes.
So I'm on the narrow, winding, perilous mountain road - in the proverbial middle of nowhere - surrounded by smelly bags of garbage.....
.........(these dots serve to build up suspense)..........
....when suddenly an emergency light starts blinking on the dashboard - informing me that I'm nearly out of gas!
I'm seldom prone to panic - - but this time I panicked freely.
Driving on this mountain road terrifies me on a good day when nothing's going wrong. My terror quadrupled knowing that I'm nearly gasless with rotting bags of trash. And there's nowhere on the road to pull over.
All I could do was keep going, coast as much as possible, and pray to a God who's probably laughing at me.
To make an incredibly long and sweaty story short (which, for me, is an impossibility) I made it to the outskirts of town - but still had to travel on another endlessly long road that leads to the service station.
Out of nowhere, a car pulls in front of me and is moving about 5 mph. I'm almost riding her bumper (yes, it was a woman) and I'm screaming "Go!Go!Go! Gooooooooo!!!!!!!"
I did everything to keep from ramming her car and sending her into a ditch.
I ran out of gas JUST as I reached the service station and had to push and coast the car to the nearest gas pump.
After I got gas, I went to the Trash Center to get rid of the festering trash bags.
As fate would have it, they were CLOSED for an unknown reason! The gate was locked, but the workers were there and cars were lined up, waiting to get in.
I wasn't about to wait in line for an hour and run out of gas again. I took off and went shopping at Walmart and the supermarket.
After I went shopping, I returned to the Trash Center and....... wouldn't you know it.....the gate was STILL locked and a bunch of cars were STILL waiting to get in!!!!!!!!!
I yelled "SHIT!!!!!" and a few other more colorful things, made a screeching U turn, and headed home.
I still have all the bags of trash, which I hauled out of the car and dumped in the garage.
And I don't give a royal rat's ass if they stay there forever.