Monday, September 10, 2018

FALLEN ANGELS







I made this video a few years ago - partly because I love Angelo Badalamenti's music, and also in remembrance of all the fallen angels I knew long ago during my reckless years in L.A. and Hollywood.

They pass in the shadows of my memory like distant ghosts:  troubled souls who abandoned the sweet light of innocence in favor of the toxic world of eternal midnight.
The hustlers and druggies, booze hounds, drifters, pimps, prostitutes - the hopelessly lost and inevitably forgotten.

I'm remembering the fourteen-year-old hustler who used to hang out around 6th and Main in downtown L.A. - -
whose innocently deceptive face had the ethereal beauty of an archangel.
"His eyes were electric.
They could execute you."

I suppose I was always a fallen angel in one way or another: in my careless, reckless youth when I was immersed in the dangerous and destructive realms of escape from myself.

And now, a thousand years later, when the heavy burden of a chaotic life has finally collapsed and crushed me - 
sapping every semblance of hope, strength, or redemption....
.....leaving nothing but fragmented pieces and the raw, sobering fact that there is no solace whatsoever in the taunting illusion of heavenly realms. 



Note: video is best viewed in full-screen mode

13 comments:

  1. Jon, this is absolutely stunning. Both the music and visuals. I watched so many of my friends perish from AIDS during the era of Reagan. There was little funding and zero compassion. I always figured I would be the next one to go - but I am still here for some mysterious reason. My lover was not so lucky. I wish I had your talent: I'd do and say a lot more about those heartbreaking days...

    Dylan

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    1. Thanks so much, Dylan - your kind words mean a lot. As Rita said (in the comment below yours) only those of us who have experienced being forgotten and in the gutter can fully understand, and we see things with a different perspective.

      There are many times when I'm hesitant to share my thoughts, via writing or videos, because I feel that many people won't understand where I'm coming from. I'm not sure how much so-called "talent" I have, but I always have a burning desire to express my emotions. It's definitely a beneficial catharsis.

      Considering all I've been through during my life, I'm often astonished at the fact that "I'm still here for some mysterious reason" - as you said.
      Perhaps we were given this extra time so we can express ourselves, in retrospect, with the talents we were given....

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  2. A beautiful pairing of video and music. You are a sensitive, spiritual being filled with love who has become disillusioned and soul weary. I think we are all fallen angels. Some of us humans just don't know it yet. Those of us who have been forgotten in the gutter and survived have been blessed with a different perspective, a true appreciation of life and an empathy for other lost souls. You have not had everything crushed out of you. Your light is right here in this post. *hugs*

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    1. You've summed it up perfectly, Rita. I am a very weary and disillusioned soul. The videos and blog posts are my emotional outlet. I totally agree that those of us who were in the gutter and survived view things with a different perspective. And, yes, in that respect we are indeed blessed. Thanks.

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  3. beautiful montage...and even more hauntingly beautiful music...thank you for sharing...and thx too for sticking around...i've been one of those creepy crawlers under the radar since way back in your west tx days... you're a very interesting study...with a very caring heart....SMILE...peace and love from the wholesome midwest...

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    1. Many thanks for your input. I'm always delighted when creepy crawlers come out from their hiding places and let themselves be known. And I admire your stamina for enduring me ever since my Texas days.

      The Badalamenti music is indeed hauntingly beautiful. It was originally from a 1990 film called "Wild at Heart" and later used in a PBS documentary about the Donner Party.

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  4. Beautiful, Jon; actually, I enjoyed the video imagry you chose more so than Badalamenti himself. I'm not embarrassed by it, but rather astonished what an (almost) cloistered life I led. Heck, my parents even refused to let me watch Peyton Place.

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    1. Myra, it's difficult to believe, but I led an extremely cloistered life, too, when I was a child. I was INCREDIBLY innocent and naive. I didn't become the Devil's advocate until I was about 20.

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  5. Haunting. Shadows that flicker in the night disillusioned by life. your spirit is here, strong but frustrated.

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  6. Beyond frustrated....more like desperate....trying to stay strong.

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  7. What can I say? That video is brilliant. Stunning. The music tears at my soul, and the images augment it. You make us FEEL, Jon, and that's an amazing gift. There's one image in the video of a beautiful young man with a tear running down his cheek. Is that you?

    Stay strong, cowboy. You still have so much to offer. I hate that you're going through whatever crap you're enduring, but you've already proven how strong in spirit you are.

    On another note, I read your new poetry book. And LOVED it. It's a thing of beauty. (Ya done good!) I left a review on Goodreads and Amazon. (How about a poetry book for TEENS...?)

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    1. Wow, Susan, what an inspiring comment (and it came at a time when I needed it).
      I really love the music in this video, too - it reflects the feelings in my soul. The photo of the guy with tears isn't me - I "lifted" all the pictures from the Internet (and it was a rather difficult job piecing them all together to enhance the music).

      I'm delighted that you like my new book - and relieved that there are no major mistakes or typos. I had a difficult time finding suitable pictures to go with it. All of them are from the public domain.

      A book for teens is a tempting idea, but teens are so different nowadays from the time when I was growing up.I probably wouldn't know how to relate to them (Gawd that makes me feel archaic).

      I haven't yet seen your review for the book but I'll look forward to reading it. MANY thanks!!!!

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    2. Susan, I just read your review - and it's fantastic, not to mention creative. Your insight is remarkable...and you've made my day (which isn't easy to do). Thanks!!!!

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