Tuesday, July 16, 2019

ASK AND I'LL ANSWER




 
More inane questions from Sunday Stealing
The fact that it's not Sunday doesn't bother me in the least.
BTW - none of these questions inspired my usual enthralling sense of humor. Let's blame it on the intense heat and humidity - - which has rendered me and my cat Scratch completely useless (indicated by header photo).


1. Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now?
I've never been completely satisfied with my life. Let's just say that I'm less unsatisfied than I was ten years ago, and more unsatisfied than I was twenty years ago.

Don't ponder that for too long. You'll hurt yourself.
 
2. Do you drink enough water?

"Enough" water for what? Let's just say that I drink enough water to stay sufficiently hydrated and maintain my devastating complexion.

When I lived in West Texas the water was so bad that it was completely undrinkable. Every week I had to load my pickup truck with gallon jugs and drive to the local water machine, where I paid 25 cents a gallon. Often the water machine was empty, and I had to keep going back - - fervently praying that it would finally yield coveted H2O. The harrowing process shredded my fragile nerves and eventually infused me with a disdain for quarters and an unwholesome hatred for gallon jugs.
Not to mention a disdain for West Texas.

Here in rural Tennessee the water is pure and I gleefully drink straight from the tap.
 
3. When was the last time you ate at Burger King?

Burger King?? Probably when Laugh-In was on TV and bell bottoms were popular.
 
4. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?

When I lived in Southern California and was young, healthy, and easy on the eyes, I loved the beach and vowed that I would stay by the ocean the rest of my life.

Now that I'm considerably older, questionably wiser, and have completely lost my health and looks - - I am perfectly content living in the Tennessee mountains.
 
5. How do you usually feel when you wake up on a morning?

ON a morning??
Methinks that's grammatically incorrect - but, then, who am I to judge?
When I wake up in the morning I usually feel like I died three weeks ago. My mind is muddled, my legs cease to work, my back is so hopelessly askew that I can't crawl out of bed, and it takes the good part of an hour for me to regain my equilibrium  and get my faculties to work.
Does that answer your question?
 
6. Would you rather take someone on a date, or be taken on a date?

I'm not the "date" type. I don't like to play around with unnecessary preliminaries when it's much easier to cut to the chase and hop into bed.
But if you want to take me out for a nice dinner, I'll go.
Just don't take me to Burger King. 
 
7. When was the last time you wore high heeled shoes?

When I was on a date with Colin Kaepernick.
 
8. Vodka or wine?

How about vodka and wine with a whiskey chaser?
Actually, I can do without the vodka. I'll take wine. 
 
9. How often do you cry?

I don't tend to keep a record of my tears. I'm a sentimental and sensitive person, but crying isn't exactly on my daily agenda.

Distant memories can render me misty-eyed. So can certain films or music. Especially emotional scenes from operas - - Wotan's Farewell and other sequences from the Ring and Parsifal. And most of Puccini. 
 
10. Ever had a crush on a teacher?

You probably thought I had a crush on my 10th grade gym coach, didn't you?

Believe it or not, I had a HUGE crush on my sophomore year algebra teacher Miss Davis. She was smoking hot and I was secretly in lust with her.
She had natural blonde hair and blue eyes, and a very intriguing figure. Strangely enough, she never wore any makeup and dressed extremely conservatively - almost like a Quaker. 
I think her absence of affectation made her even more desirable.

Unfortunately math was my worst subject and algebra was completely beyond my comprehension - - but just gazing at Miss Davis made it all worth while. 

11. Can you wire a plug?

I have no idea what a plug is, and I can't wire anything. I did successfully install a thermostat once.
 
12. Do you wear socks to bed?

Only in the winter when my tootsies are freezing.
 
13. What is currently bugging you?

All the bugs around here: wasps, gnats, flies, mosquitoes.....

But what really bugs me are those jackass Democrats.
Sorry. I couldn't resist. 
You gotta admire me for my brutal honesty. 

15. Can you change a car tire?

I changed my first tire when I was seventeen and have been doing it ever since.
 
16. Have you met more than ten celebrities?

Many, many more than ten. When I lived in Hollywood I met a lot of famous (and semi-famous) people: Cher, John Wayne, Groucho Marx, Ann Miller, Shelley Winters, Liza Minnelli, Ronald Reagan, Joan Rivers, Raquel Welch.....to name a few.
 
17. Do you sleep naked?

Come on over and we'll find out.
I use to sleep naked frequently. Lately, I have paranoid fears that some unseen disaster will force me to run out of the house in the middle of the night. That's why I now usually sleep in my Fruit of the Looms.
 
18. What was the best music gig you’ve ever attended?

The best musical gigs were the ones that I participated in when I was a musician in California. Great times!
 
19. Have you ever had sexual feelings for anyone you follow on line?

No, I'm not that desperate.

Wait a minute - that sounded slightly insulting. It is never my intention to insult (he says with a sly smirk).
I have the right to retain some secrets.

 
20. Who is someone who has changed your life positively.

I have a huge list of people who have negatively affected my life.
 
21. Favourite city?

My favorite city used to be Los Angeles - - until the liberals thoroughly destroyed it.
Don't get miffed. I lived there for thirty years and know what I'm talking about. L.A. has changed so drastically that I'd never go back. A great tragedy. 
 
22. Can you drive?

I'm assuming you're talking about a vehicle. Yes. I can drive.
 
23.Cigarettes or alcohol?
Alcohol, definitely. When I was young I smoked, but I did it solely for effect. I thought it made me look tough. 
I seldom inhaled. Honest.
 
24. Favourite and least favourite accents?

Isn't that a racist question? 
I'm being annoyingly sarcastic, in case you didn't notice.
A Hungarian gypsy accent is sexy. A Brooklyn honk is annoying.
 
25. Did you play Red Rover when you were a child?

Red Rover?? I never heard of it. When I was a kid I played Blackjack. And strip poker.
 
26. Do you like 1980s fashion? 

Fashion died somewhere in the mid 1960's and never returned. Unfortunately.

26 comments:

  1. These are great, Jon! I've not given fashion much thought, but you're right. Actually, I prefer the 50's. Please, pass the wine.

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    1. I like the 50's fashions, too. Fashion was still tasteful in the early 60's but started to go downhill during the hippie era. Wine is always in fashion.

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  2. Love the Q & A's.. I laughed out loud at several.. and laughing out loud is a rarity for me these days, so thank you Jon!
    Here in West Tennessee we are being drenched by hurricane Barry- almost 6 inches of rain so far, and it's lots cooler right now. . Wish I could share the coolness with you! Take care!

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    1. I'm glad I made you laugh, Louise. I haven't been in a very funny mood lately. I'm farther east than you are. We're just starting to feel the effects of Barry. It's starting to rain this morning (Wednesday).

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  3. interesting questions. interesting answers. loved it.

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    1. I seem to be addicted to questions. They're always fun to answer and usually put me in a good mood.

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  4. I like reading other people's questionnaires but I would hate having to reveal my all. Well, perhaps not all, but you know what I mean.

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    1. Valerie, I always have a lot of fun answering these questions - even if I risk revealing my all. There isn't much left of my reputation, anyway, so I have nothing to lose.

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  5. Your sense of humor was quite evident in your answers. That’s why I keep coming back, although your “not that desperate” remark made me wonder whether I should stop reading your blog... until I realized that of course you’d be smitten by my beauty if I weren’t too old for you.

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    1. Donna, I've had a crush on you for many years but tried to keep it a secret.
      I'm delighted to know that you're attracted to my humor - - and not just my devastatingly good looks (*smile*).

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  6. There used to be a London Transport all day ticket called Red Rover once, it meant you could pay once for the ticket and use it to go on as many red double decker buses as you could, in one day. Not sure it was competitive or a game though. More a way of getting around London. Or so I assume. But these days so many of my assumptions are proving wrong....

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  7. I just did a search for Red Rover, which apparently is some sort of a "tag" game - also known as Octopus Tag. I like the London Transport ticket idea.

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  8. Loved your answers! I will admit that I do know how to wire a plug. I'm very mechanically inclined.

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    1. I admire your ability to wire. I have no mechanical inclinations whatsoever.

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    2. Just in case that was a trick question, I feel the need to clarify my answer.. an ELECTRICAL outlet! 😚 I just got done remodeling my kitchen.

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    3. Thanks for clarifying that. I tend to keep away from electricity, liberals, and Jane Austen novels.

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  9. Jon, so many of your answers made me laugh out loud.

    The water in Florida was the same way. Completely UNDRINKABLE. Disgusting! I lived there 20 years and drank bottled or filtered water the whole time. My favorite water is well water. Ice cold and tastes so fresh and clean!

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    1. Ron, I'm always delighted when I make people laugh. Unfortunately I sometimes have the ability to make people want to kill me....

      The water is appalling in Southern California, too. I don't know exactly what it contained, but it reminded me of motor oil.

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  10. You just THINK none of those questions inspired your enthralling sense of humor. Trying to stifle your sense of humor is an exercise in futility. (That's a good thing!)

    Most of my growing-up years were spent in a neighborhood with wall-to-wall kids, so I played all kinds of outdoor games... including Red Rover. Living in a row home wasn't great, but it was a huge plus to have so many kids around.

    Not a morning person, eh? I kinda figured. Me? I generally wake up before sunrise and hit the floor singing. On the inside. I used to wake up singing on the outside,too, but my hubby isn't a morning person, either, so I try to keep the noise down.

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    1. The strange thing is that I never purposefully try to be funny. I simply say the first thing that pops into my mind - - and it usually has a humorous twist. It's a gift (*smile*).

      I have never been a morning person and singing a happy tune before noon would be completely beyond my comprehension. I'm actually never fully awake until after midnight....

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  11. Ok, I had to LOL at many of your answers. Surprised you never heard of Red Rover. Maybe it's a Midwest thing. But apparently, meeting celebrities is not a Midwest thing. I've never met a one . . . I was in the same room as John Glenn once; does that count?

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    1. I'm always glad when I can evoke some LOLs. Being in the same room with John Glenn would definitely count. I once saw Mick Jagger's luggage at the Continental Hyatt House in Beverly Hills.

      I had a rather sheltered childhood - which might explain why I never heard of Red Rover....

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  12. We have lived in the LA LA LAND/Hollywood area for most of our lives. Nice blog.

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    1. Hi, Mike - I know you indirectly from Ron T.'s blog....and I'll always love Hollywood, even though it's changed.
      Thanks for the visit!

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  13. Yes, Hollywood,and West Hollywood have changed greatly. I lived in West Hollywood in the 70's and 80's. In '94 my husband and I bought a home in Studio City near Oil Can Harry's. Studio City got to crowded and two years ago we bought our 'forever' home out here in Chatsworth. I now realize why so many old movie stars move to Palm Springs, when it is time to make room for the younger bunch it is time to step away. Chatsworth is as far as I want to go. It is still close to "crazy town". I have been visiting Ron's blog for about nine years. I used to follow a lot os blogs but now I follow three. My favorite is very nice, it is all photos and images and is pretty cool if you are a fan of the LA LA LAND Hollywood nostalgia. It sounds nasty but it is not, it is called PORNCAKR, and there really is cake and cookies, and some nudes. OH, we also have a cat. Her name is Sadie. She is a blonde tabby,

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  14. Hi, Mike - my parents moved to Southern California when I was five and I lived there for thirty years. I lived in Hollywood in the 70's and have always been fascinated with the film industry and Hollywood history. I used to do a lot of freelance writing for movie magazines. I'll always consider L.A. to be my home - even though it has changed drastically.
    Chatsworth is a nice area to be in.
    I'll check out the blog that you mentioned.

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I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.