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Post title sounds like a cheap horror movie ploy. It's my cheap ploy. Last night was a reasonable facsimile of a horror movie, I suppose.
Background Effects
Thunderstorms all night long. Thunder rumbling. Lightning flashing in the window by my bed. The cancerous "wound" on my upper arm started to bleed, as usual, seeping through the bandages, as usual. Nothing new. Daily (nightly) occurrence.
This is the blood "seeping" through the bandages onto a towel - - it hasn't really started bleeding yet. I endure this EVERY DAY. How would you like to go through this daily ???? No exaggeration.
Photo taken last night.
Bad Part
The only night nurse on duty is the (extremely) incompetent one. Is perpetually clueless. And has an EXTREMELY potent hillbilly accent that I can't understand.
Starts ripping bandages off, unraveling me like a mummy. Blood gushing everywhere.
"What should I do?" "How should I wrap it?"
I understood that. I'm nearly fainting.
"Maybe I should call the Hospice nurse...." she suggests.
"OK," I reluctantly agree, desperation.
Hospice is shit. They're eagerly waiting for me to die.
Hospice Nurse arrives in about an hour...in a raging thunderstorm.
"Why do you want radiation therapy?" she demands.
So I can live and kill you.
"So the bleeding will stop," I tell her.
She is no frickin' help at all.
My radiation treatments start....supposedly.....next.....Monday.....29th
See my previous posts
IF I get the radiation, I'm dumping Hospice. They're complicating everything.
I'm losing an enormous amount of blood - - ever since April. APRIL!!! Spring.
Result? Extremely low blood pressure, constant fatigue, dizzy, queasy, fainting, migraines, chest pains and burning.....
Secretly I ordered Iron pills and B12 vitamins from local Walmart...take them daily. I also ordered dried fruit and mixed nuts for nourishment.....and a jar of chocolate peanut butter. Yes, chocolate. I eat these things at night.
Better than the crap they serve here.
I've got to get outta here.
Alive.
Jon, half dead...but nerves of steel......❤️ Endurance
More autumn pics in my next post.....just to irk you.
Even through bloody hell, my talents thrive. 😈
That looks dangerous. I suppose that didn't need to be said. It is obvious. For you and for them. Why are they allowing a man to just bleed? Will the radiation stop it? Maybe they don't know how to stop it, but if that is the case they should tell the patient. It is unbelievable. Why is a nurse asking you how to wrap a bandage? None of this makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI have been through more hell than snybody could believe. The oncologist/radiation doctor told me radiation therapy will shrink the wound and stop the bleeding. This is why I wanted this treatment rather than surgery.
DeleteThat one night nurse here scares me. She knows nothing.
It is beyond perplexing, I can understand your frustration with the whole ordeal. My two months in rehab were the worst of my life, although I did understand it was the best place for my recuperation. Five months and no progress would drive me up the wall. Hopefully, your return home will be forthcoming.
ReplyDeleteJo
My reply to your comment mysteriously disappeared.
DeleteThis seemingly endless ordeal is a genuine nightmare. I honestly don't know how I survived. If I don't start the radiation on Monday 29th, I'm going to dump Hospice and request a hospital trip to the ER. It's my legal right.
My only goal is to get home.
Are they not doing CBC's (complete blood counts) to assess your bleeding and symptoms? Good Lord. Talk about incompetence. To let this situation go on for months on end and so haphazardly is beyond. Honestly, the TN Dept. of Health should be notified of their dangerous behavior towards patients. I spent 38 years of my career working in hospitals. I worked ICU, ER, neuro-surg and the last 25 psych and I never witnessed anything as bad as you've related. I hope the radiation comes sooner than later so you can flee that shit show called Signature. FYI... Iron can cause constipation, so be watchful of that. One more issue you don't need.
ReplyDeleteParanormal John
If the radiation therapy doesn't start next week (Monday 29th) the shit is going to hit the fan. I'll dump Hospice ( which I suspect is holding things up). Once I'm rid of Hospice, I'll be kicked out of Signature. I will demand to complete radiation...or be placed in a hospital. And TN Dept. of Health will be contacted.
DeleteA nightmare, John, but I must keep control of it.
Yes, Jon. Keeping control is paramount. Keep focused and move forward. You have a plan of action in place. I wish you the best.
DeleteParanormal John
Jon, does your cousin Nancy know where you are and what you're dealing with? You desperately need someone who cares about you to be there with you and advocate for you. I know you're a strong person, but please don't be too stubborn to ask for help. Your doctors/nurses are doing what they can within the limitations of hospice, but it's not what you need if your goal is to return home. I understand if you don't publish this comment, but I hope you will at least take it to heart.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin Nancy has lately become a complete mystery. When I first moved to TN we were very close. Now we drifted apart. Her cell phone isn't working. She doesn't answer my letters.
DeleteI know that she has health issues. She's also been having enormous problems with two of her "grown" children....and one grandchild. Nancy is extremely generous and helps everyone in need....which is a big mistake. And she often keeps her problems a secret. I checked obituaries, etc. but no record of her demise. The last she told me that she might visit one of her sons, who lives in upper state New York.
Your guess is as good as mine.....??
Yes--get the bleeding to stop and get home. That's the plan. You've been waiting since April!! I read your above comment and yes--if they mess up the plan again next Monday--demand to go to ER and demand somebody fix the bleeding. Enough is enough!
ReplyDeleteI really think Hospice is the culprit. They do some good - - but they definitely don't want to help people get well. I need to take them off my ...agenda. If I don't get the radiation, I'm going to demand being placed in an ER to get the bleeding treated.
DeleteYes, my main goal is to get home with home care nursing - - and get away from this unhealthy insanity.
Out of character, but I'm at a loss for words. Others' comments echo my own; I'll be following... and continuing to pray. You deserve so much more.
ReplyDeleteMyra, I'm nearly at a loss for words, too. If I don't stay strong and keep pushing forword I'll be completely lost. It's not easy.....but I have to rely on myself - - and prayers.
DeleteLike Myra commented, Jon, there is nothing I can add in the way of comfort or advice. Your situation is unbelievable given the length of time it has been going on and the fact that the medical staff are hopelessly inept. You have all of our prayers.
ReplyDeleteMy situation is indeed unbelievable, and if I don't do something to break the cycle I'll be completely doomed. I initially assumed I was in good hands, but I'm horrified to know I'm in totally inept ones.
DeletePrayers will help.
That looks very life threatening and not being taken as seriously as they should be Jon, so I can see why you want to Escape that Hospice Purgatory that just seems to have you on the Hurry Up And Die Plan. OMG, my Heart just aches for you and I do Hope you receive some benefit from the Treatment scheduled? I really have no Words of Comfort, I'm so Sorry.
ReplyDelete