After all, nobody wants to hear anything optimistic that might have occurred in my dreadfully drastic existence.
As a start, I will consider removing the photo of the Jeep (where the hell did I get that vehicle, anyway?).
I'm talking nonsense.
I might be wounding you with sarcasm.
My enigmatical blog posts often leave recipients speechless. Other more courageous recipients kindly take time to read between lines - desperately trying extract a semblance of logic and reason.
Logic? Reason?
Only I know what and why I write.
Taking detours far away from tedious, depressing, joyless, foul, endless medical updates would be a unique break.....a breath of fresh (?) air....
he assumes......
I still brashly (and erroneously) believe that I'm the most interesting person I know.
With several exceptions.
AND NOW
I'll give you what you're waiting for.
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A DELICIOUS MEDICAL UPDATE!
Last Friday (August 14th) my followup dr. appt.
I was nervous beyond belief, as to what the ctscan would reveal. My recent petscan yielded so many dire and dismal things, that even Doctor Johnson was speechless.
On Friday, I was so scared waiting for the doctor that I nearly passed out. The nurse took my blood pressure and said it was completely normal.
The results for my scans were not as bad as expected. I was positive that bone cancer was in my right arm. The pain is INTENSE. The dr. said it is coming from nerve pain. It seems to be bursitis. I'll get treatments for that.
The doctor's biggest concern is my liver and left lung. Since he only deals with radiation, I was transferred to a new oncologist who specializes in chemo, Dr. Penny Heinrich.
I got an appt. with her on Sept 1st.
I had seven weeks of chemo and radiation three years ago.
.....and so it goes....
If this post annoys you, I would gladly put you in my shoes and let you go through the absolute medical HELL that I endured these past three years. Every minute was agony. I held up incredibly well - -
During the past few weeks I'm completely losing strength and sanity. I never knew a depression could be so ravaging. I'm bearly hanging on to a very thin thread.
Jon
You've had a rough ride, Jon. Somehow you keep your humor.
ReplyDeleteI've become very bitter but humor maintains my sanity......or what's left of it.
DeleteThanks, Sandra.
And I'm glad you recognize my tongue-in-cheek humor. Some people don't.
Deletethecontemplativecat here. You have an amazing sense of humor given your condition and what happens next. Don't know what to say except keep on going, heading somewhere. I was thinking about you last night. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI always feel like giving up and saying "to hell with it" but some mysterious force compels me to keep pushing on. It means a lot that you think of me......and I sure need prayers.
DeleteI'm so glad your Blog came back up, for some reason it completely disappeared for a while and said it was no longer available! Now I know you're still Blogging and that at least the Scan wasn't as bad as you suspected. *Whew* You're going thru so much that it's understandable it's taken a mental and emotional toll as well as the physical one. But, you still allow your sense of humor to shine thru.
ReplyDeleteI unpublished my post temporarily to edit it. At that time it had about 80 views and no comments, and I wondered why. Three years ago several prominent doctors in Nashville bluntly told me I was going to die. I was so damn sick that I didn't care.
DeleteHumor is my buffering zone.
I am always happy to see your blog, even when the news is not what we hoped for. My BF has suffered nearly 20 years with debilitating nerve pain, and undergone 6-7 surgeries, to no avail. So yes, I've a front-row seat to witness that sort of pain.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying Doctor Penny can make a difference!
PS - I love both the time images you've chosen.
I never knew how debilitating pain can be. Fortunately the severe pain in my back and spine has nearly vanished. I know several people whose pain got worse after several surgeries.
DeleteI was positive that I had cancer in my arm, relief that it's not.
I'm nervous about the new doctor but we'll see....
Sorry to have fallen behind in blog reading, Jon, but when I checked earlier and there were no posts, I was concerned and glad I saw your anniversary wishes, thank you. You should know by now that you have a faithful blog community so you can whatever, the good, the bad and the ugly. Good news that you do not have cancer on your arm not that nerve damage is better but hopefully more easily treatable. Keep us posted, please.
ReplyDeleteI have fallen behind replies to comments. Everything is chaotic and miserable here. Hopefully everything is better than it seems.
DeletePrayers that Dr. Penny is the best to give you the right plan and get you on the road to recovery. Love your artwork in the last blog. Take care, Sheila
ReplyDeleteI'm always anxious with a new doctor. It's good to hear from you, Sheila.
DeleteJon,
ReplyDeleteIs there anyway they can return you to your home in the mountains? How about visiting nurses or even hospice (palliative) care? I'm sure being in that environment would help with your healing and even if not and you're on the downward slope, wouldn't it be better to be at home? Being stuck in a facility I don't think is helpful to your overall health, especially mental health.
Always wishing the best for you my friend.
Ron
I'm starting more physical therapy, but it takes a long time. I never what's ahead.
DeleteThanks for thinking me, Ron. Take care.
It seems as though it is a never ending vicious cycle. I agree with Ron as far as getting home with help IF at all possible!
ReplyDeleteAnd you are right, no day is ever promised and the older that I get the more I understand it.
Take care and still thinking of you, Jon!
The older I get, the more struggle each day becomes. Golden years, hell! Thinking of you and the kitties often. Thanks, Kim.
Delete