Saturday, January 31, 2015



I seldom get outraged (well, only about two or three times a day) but my feathers were rudely ruffled this morning while I was surfing the Internet. A glaring headline hit me: Tips for a Healthy Super Bowl Menu.
The author of this travesty of justice had the audacity to suggest that we serve carrots, celery sticks, and broccoli to our guests while watching the Super Bowl tomorrow.

The suggestion itself tells me that the author is one of those perky, health-conscious, self-righteous, tree-hugging, save-the-condor, naturalistic, non-smoking joggers - -  who wants to impose their demented vegetarian lifestyles on all of us.

Holy crap, Jon! Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, or what? You're  making enemies by the dozens.

Hey, enemy-making is one of my many specialties. It's a gift.

This is the same kind of annoying alarmist spoilsport who advises us to hand out carrots, celery, and broccoli to trick-or-treaters on Halloween. And to eat a soymeal turkey substitute on Thanksgiving.

Here's some food for thought to that electric-car-driving Bozo:
the very foundation of America is based on the unwholesome, the unethical, the unhealthy, and the unreasonable. Don't try to ruin it for us now.

I am in favor of a detrimentally toxic Super Bowl All-American feast:
greasy sloppy joes, cheap hot dogs with ingredients unknown, six-pound hoagies, heavily salted pretzels & peanuts, popcorn smothered in real butter, nachos with enough cheese to kill a herd of Tanzanian elephants. All washed down with sugary soda and gallons of beer.

And for dessert, a triple-fudge Super Bowl Sunday topped with real whipped cream.

Digest that.

Does anybody ever see humor in my inane ramblings? If not, I'm sorely missing my mark.

You're missing your mark, Jon. Among other things.

May I offer anyone a change of subject?

I am still extremely (and I mean extremely) upset at the number of things missing from the stash of stuff that the movers delivered. I appreciate all the words of optimistic encouragement from my readers (all two of you).
However, after several searches, I'm still coming up short. Among the missing items are:
My three-drawer toolbox, with ALL my important tools.
All of the piano music that belonged to my mother and grandmother.
My mother's scrapbook.
Thirty of my private, handwritten journals & diaries from California.
A box of my antique books - - some from the 17th century.

It seems bitterly ironic to me that my very favorite possessions are missing. It may sound melodramatic, but I'll never recover from this.

I'm going to search one more time today but I have zero optimism.

Yesterday I forced myself to drive into town to get groceries. I miraculously made the fifteen-mile drive home in eleven minutes. It's amazing what courage a few cans of beer can provide........

The long road home


  1. Jon,
    When I'm with Pat I eat vegan only and that is because there are plenty of delicious vegan dishes. My default eating choice (of course) is a big chargrilled (well done) hamburger, smothered sharp cheddar cheese and topped with crisp bacon and lettuce and tomato. Oh yes. And lest I forget, a BIG serving of French Fries. The only food I don't like is sea food or anything that crawls out of the water. Celery sticks and carrots for a Super Bowl snack? Not likely. Eat what you want to eat, that's what I say.
    I'm sorry that you still haven't found your journals, music or your mom's scrapbook. Have you contacted the owner's of your former home to see if you left them behind by accident? I still have a feeling you'll find them amount your unopened boxes. We were missing one of Bill's favorite statues and were convinced that the movers had stolen it but we did find it five years later in a box (along the side wrapped in a towel) that Bill had forgotten about. We had to move in a hurry too. Instead of the end of the month (November 30, 2006, we had to move November 17th). We had so many failed sales (seven of them) that we didn't want to take any chances so we just threw in anything we could get our hands on. I'm still missing items but nothing like what you're missing. I hope you find them.

  2. After I wrote this I suddenly thought of Pat. This certainly wasn't intended to insult him! As I previously told you -the photos of the veggie food do look appetizing.

    1. Jon,
      Oh he understands. I kid him all the time. That's what I like about Pat, he's very easy going and not easily offended. He understands and respects others' dietary needs and wants. Of course when I'm with him I eat nothing but vegan but that's not a sacrifice of me because he knows where all the good vegan restaurants are. If I had that selection of vegan restaurants where I lived I would eat at them too but I don't. I hope someday you can meet Pat. I call him my angel and I'm not exaggerating. I am convinced he is. And he would like you. Maybe someday.

  3. The little glutton inside me is applauding! Pass the nachos, please?
    Usually, I like to keep it stifled and silent ... but not tomorrow. Heck, Super Bowl Sunday is practically a National Holiday, and who am I to thwart the Beef Council's profit margin? We've no party to attend - and I could care less which team wins - but it's taking place just a few miles down the road, generating lots of excitement (and lunacy) along the way.

    I like Ron's suggestion bout contacting the owners of your old home. Still sending scads of wishes your way for a positive outcome!

  4. Sorry to hear about your things gone missing. Seems like I've lost stuff every time I have moved. I feel your pain.

    While not a dyed-in-the-wool football fan, I can appreciate some junk food. But it is the ribs, fajitas and other hearty things (beef stew, anyone?) that get my motor running.

    Them good ol boys have been traversing Tennessee hills tanked on brewskis or stronger for a couple hundred years. They only fall down - go boom every other weekend or so. You're a neophyte. Wait until you make it to town and back in 15 minutes on a quart of tequila with no memory the next morning of how you managed to scrape both sides of the car to bare metal. Then you're talking my language, boy. ;)

  5. Contact the moving company. Since your things were in storage for so long, possibly some boxes were overlooked at their warehouse. If you appeal to them in a non-confrontational way, they may miraculously find some stray boxes.

    1. I'm definitely going to contact them. And I'll be tactful and considerate - - even if it kills me.

  6. I seem to lose things in every move as well, Jon. I hope the things turn up. Regarding the Super Bowl food, I think it's morally reprehensible to eat healthy on Super Bowl Sunday :)

  7. I'm with you. Hand me a sloppy joe any day. How about some slim jims, guacamole and fritos too. Question for you- were the boxes you packed inventoried by moving company. If so they should have marked them with numbers. then you can go after them for stealing them if you think that's what happened. or finding them in their warehouse somewhere.

    1. Unfortunately they didn't number the boxes. They simply wrote "plastic box", "cardboard box", etc. In retrospect, I was a fool to trust them - - but they are SUPPOSEDLY "professionals"......

  8. I hope you find all your most prized possessions. That would upset me also.

  9. I hope you are able to find your things. We've lost a few things in our moves but nothing as valuable as your things. Take care, Sheila


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