ALMOST

 

Almost the end of February. Almost heading for spring. I'm almost feeling a teeny tiny smidgeon of optimism. And I'm almost feeling in a good mood. Almost.

Good moods are almost foreign to me. I seem to have lost them during recent brutal times.

Devout pessimists like myself are very careful about feeling good. If you're too jubilant, something bad will inevitably happen. It's a fact, known as a certainty by seriously neurotic people.

I'm not referring to myself, of course. 

(stop that smirking and snickering)

This will be a haphazard post, jumping from one unrelated subject to another.

That's how my mind has always worked....jumping from one unrelated subject to another.

In a previous recent post, I mentioned that I got a phone call from the Dragon Lady whom I'll now call Tira  (that's not her real name) from Signature Health Care in Jamestown. She wants me to come back to Signature.

I was shocked and delighted to hear that. I've had issues about Signature in the past, but it's a heckuva better place than where I am now. At least everything is organized there and the staff knows (generally) what they're doing.

Besides, my home is in Jamestown. Everyone in Signature knows me very well (nobody ever forgot the massive hemorrhages from the cancerous wound on my arm). And all those nurses and other people who forced me to autograph my books (remember that?).

Embarrassing as heck.

I'm a very modest, humble, unobtrusive person. Of course, you'd never know it by reading this blog.

I needed to talk to Jennifer, my social worker here in Gainesboro, about leaving for Signature, but she's been absent all week due to illness.

I contacted Tira yesterday and she assured me that she's working on the transfer.

Will see.

Did anyone watch the Winter Olympics? I only got glimpses of it on YouTube. Nowadays finding a way to see all of the Olympics  is like searching for the Holy Grail. Is it still on NBC?

If you have a TV, there are probably 500 channels.

Turning back time.....

When I was a kid, watching the Olympics was like finding the Holy Grail. Everything was simple back then.

My parents turned on our black & white portable TV, tuned in to NBC (channel 4 in Los Angeles). And we watched every minute of the Olympics - - from opening ceremony......until the torch was extinguished on the final night.

I mostly watched clips of the Olympic ice skating on YouTube this year. I thought most of the skaters were exellent.

A tragedy that American men's skater Ilia Malinin could have won the gold if he didn't fall.

And the American pair skaters could have won the gold, if the biased judges didn't put France in first place.

The Olympic judges were always biased. Remember the days of the Soviet Union?

Naw, you're too young.

What scared me the most was the heavy makeup on most of the female skaters.

What's with the massive RED lipstick? It was like a Max Factor Festival.

A horrifying example was skater Amber Glenn when she made a boo-boo.

I'll be brutally blunt....

Her face looks like a death mask of Bette Davis.

(am I cruel? I think I'm funny)

Young ladies shouldn't destroy their youth by packing enough makeup on to look like an 85 yr.old drag queen.

BTW the French pairs female skater looked really lovely because her makeup was very light (I don't recall her name - - look it up).

Well, I have a lot more to say but I'll cut it short.

I don't want you to have too much of a good thing.

Jon ❤️ a good thing

I'm going to order more food from Walmart today (Saturday). Wish me luck.

I keep trying over and over to reply to your comments, but it isn't working. Another annoying Blogger glitch.

 

FOR THE PRECIOUS FEW

For the precious few who are still valiantly hanging on - - you know how much I appreciate you.

I still exist and (bitter irony) am still valiantly hanging on (see, we share similar traits).

 I hardly have the strength. 

In truth, I'm desperately grasping on a very thin thread, attatched to an enormously endless nightmare. Sometime soon the thread will break. It's an evil inevitability. Often I pray that it will.

I pray with acute trepidation.

It is said that we are given only as much as we can bear.

While pondering this, should I laugh or cry?

Of course, there are others bearing far worse things than I.

I despise my present existence so intensely, that I often extract my soul from the putrid remnants of my body.

And I let my soul soar through limitless uncharted realms that could have been in the past.....or perhaps might be in the future.

It is the only plausible escape.

Escape.....what I wish for.

Jon

I won't abandon you, precious ones. Updates will sporadically appear.

This post is absolute crap - - which is the only reason I've disabled comments.

UPDATE SURPRISE

I admittedly don't know how this "surprise" will turn out, but I thought I'd share it with you.

Let's reverse time and go back a week or two before Christmas.

Do you remember the Dragon Lady from Signature Health Care? I don't want to reveal her real name so let's call her  Tira. Well, I wrote her a letter before Xmas. I was concerned about all the expensive things I left there. I didn't want anything delivered to my home until I'm there. So, I asked if they could temporarily keep my things in storage.

I also subtly mentioned that she's a hard worker (true) and did a lot for me (sorta true).

Anyway, I got a call from Tira, who assured me that my stuff would be kept safe until I returned home.

We reconciled from past clashes. Which is a satisfying accomplishment.

Here's the surprise:

Yesterday I got a phone call from Tira. I was stunned when she asked me if I'd like to return to Signature Health Care (in Jamestown) instead of staying here at Gainesboro! I have no clue what prompted this, since my insurance coverage to stay at Signature ran out. Anyway, she told me to discuss it with my social worker.

That's the Big Problem (capitalized for emphasis).

Almost everyone who works here at Gainesboro Rehab are impossible to communicate with. I requested to talk with social workers and nurses on previous occasions, and they always ignore me.

Yesterday the social worker was supposed to talk with me about going to Signature.....but she never showed up. She was at a "meeting".

Every aspect here is infuriating.

Last Wednesday I had xrays on my swollen knee and on my lungs. The doctor (Dr. Hill) told me I'd receive the results later that day.

Four days have passed, and nobody knows a dang thing about my xrays.

Incompetence abounds.

I'm praying that I can dump Gainesboro and return to Jamestown. I've had some "issues" with Signature in the past, but at least everybody who works there are organized.

Change of subject

I ordered more deli food from Walmart yesterday. It arrived on time! The delivery driver's name was Noah. I like that. 

Another update

Remember my roommate's wife, who talked so incessantly that I wanted to kill her?

Well, I got to know her. She never shuts up, but I like her. She is logical, has a sense of humor....and she has three cats.

Unfortunately, her husband Leo has dementia and was physically and mentally deteriorating very rapidly. It was heartbreaking to see.

Two days ago, he was transferred to another room. My intuition told me why.

Early this morning his wife came in and told me that Leo passed away last night.

It was upsetting to hear but fortunately his wife is a strong, courageous woman, who can handle difficult situations admirably. I sensed she was relieved that the intense struggle was over. 

Their (grown) children and other relatives will be with her this weekend, which is good.

She left some flowers here on the wall.

Jon 💚  somber and reflective

Two days ago it was 70 degrees (Fahreheit), today (Sunday) freezing weather predicted.

Winter has no intention of leaving yet.