Lately I'm walking a very thin line....
teetering on the cavernous Threshold of Nothing.
My initial intention was to quit blogging for awhile, but an unnervingly persistent sense of guilt persuaded me to assure you I'm still among the living.
Some people are presently worried that the Plague will kill them.
I sometimes worry that I might live.
Ironic, isn't it?
Life can be a nasty bitch that bites you on the ass and never lets go. I've got decades of teeth marks to prove it.
I won't mention the rapidly increasing trials and tribulations that I have here living alone in the wilderness.
I won't reveal the debilitating health problems that seem to be multiplying daily.
I often mention my "bad back".
It isn't my back.
It's very serious issues with my spine due to old spinal injuries that never healed properly. The long-term result has become extremely alarming.
And I mean terrifying.
But enough of my crap.
I'm surviving.
If I repeat that long enough I might believe it.
I'll keep blogging.
I probably won't be responding to your comments for awhile. You hold a special place in my heart and I treasure your input and thoughts.
I'm just not in the mood to communicate.
Is it May already?
The forest is green but gloomy. Cloudy, balmy days. Mists and fog every evening. And late-night storms. Every night.
Beware of boring photos.
My bedroom window.
Misty shades of green.
The neighboring mountain that I love so much is disappearing behind the sprouting leaves.
The "road" leading to my house where I often get stuck in the mud.
View from the front porch -
a jumble of trees
The back yard
an undefined jungle
Scratch (Kitzee) and Bosco
on the front porch
My two cats get along okay, but Scratch was never exactly in love with Bosco. She lets him know who's boss.
It's rare to see them in perfect harmony.
It's rare to see them in perfect harmony.
Thank you for checking in, Jon. Yep, that last post was somewhat unsettling. Ironic? I think the all of 2020 has been marked by irony. I'm sorry to learn your back issues seem to be increasing and exacerbated. Having lower-back osteoarthritis and sciatica, I'm kicking myself for not taking better care when I was younger. Perspective's a b**** isn't it?
ReplyDeleteCall me delusional, but I still believe we'll come out of this relatively unscathed.
Your better than I. When I don't want to communicate, I don't blog at all. And one shouldn't feel the need to blog just to blog either. I'm glad that you posted though. That last entry had me worried. It sounded very cryptic. Hang in their tootes.
ReplyDeleteYou do not know how relieved I am to see this entry! I really thought you were gone. Like in not here anymore. I felt bad that I had never let you know how much I enjoyed watching your music videos and reading your blog entries. I shall comment more now for sure. I meant what I said in my email, Jon. I hope you got it. If not, we have a few things to discuss! Take care and rest. Don't go on any one way trips and come back when you can.
ReplyDeleteIt's important to write when we need to or feel like it, and remember that we are in control of what we say or respond. That's scary about your spine; hope there are good doctors nearby. Your white and black cat looks like a cow! I have a pure black cat too; she's a character! Take care.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah! I believe that there are times when death is not the scariest thing out there. I guess if you have lived through at least one "life shattering experience", then you know the truth. Hopefully, it makes you tougher... or at least a little more "jaded" towards all the small injustices of the world. Call me cynical. Nice to see the cats tolerate each other at least a little. They remind me of my favorite type of human.
ReplyDeleteThe road leading to your house photo is enchanting, but the view from your bedroom window is claustrophobic for me.
ReplyDeleteI hope you continue blogging because I feel as though I just found you. Take care.
Jon, excellent and restful photos in an unstable time. It appears you're a stabilizing influence to a number of people as well as to me. You teeter. I totter --a system learned on the playground at Fleishhacker's in the early 1950s. Hope all goes well and everything balances out.
ReplyDeleteI have an understanding with death... I go when I'm ready not when he says so. I am, of course, the boss. Please don't abandon your friends altogether.Think of us a doses of medicine, the cure-all variety, and shove the nasty bits in a lockable cupboard. Hugs from me.
ReplyDeleteJon, count me in among those who were also worried about the ominous title on that previous post. And, like others, I am glad you have returned and hope you continue to be here online. I can imagine how difficult it must Be some days in the midst of pain and a feeling of hopelessness. This ongoing pandemic situation is especially unsettling and magnifies everyone’s despair, even mine. Please do stay with us in all meanings. We care.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are okay. The world is a dangerous and beautiful place. I do my best to discover the beauty. It isn't easy (especially now). *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteGlad your hanging around....I would miss my neighbor to the west, brboomer is no longer.....you can now find me at Dogs Always Barking.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to just do the daily stuff you have to do (after procrastinating as long as possible) when you're in pain. You are in a lovely spot, that's for sure. Great to see the cats side by side. Hang in there, Jon. *gentle hug*
ReplyDeleteThank you, cowboy, for reassuring us that you're still here. You've touched a lot of lives, and you matter to us. We care about you. I care about you. I'm sorry you're in so much pain. So is my hubby, and it kills me that I can't take his pain away... that I can't make yours disappear, too. Take care of yourself, okay?
ReplyDeleteCripes! I too was worried about you. So sorry you have so much pain. Take care. Wendy
ReplyDeletei was wondering where that portal took you. apparently right back here. i've got those bite marks too. life is a bitch. perhaps i shouldn't have been so gender specific? love your beautiful view. take a deep breathe and revel in it. we're expecting snow here. can you believe it?
ReplyDelete