SUNDAY, WITH COMMENTARY

What? Another update?

When you're alone all week trapped in a wheelchair, there's plenty of time to think and blog.

It's now been a year since I was discharged from physical therapy rehab and sent home. I don't recall the exact date but it was a few days before Thanksgiving.

Between the long hospital stay and rehab, I was away from home for six months.

It wasn't an easy transition. It was difficult and strange, trying to settle into some sort of normalcy.

It required some help and reassurance.

Lately I've been having an extremely upsetting setback due to serious back and spinal problems. Annoying, depressing, and frightening.

I don't give up easily. I'll survive.

My blogger friends are unanimous in saying that I should accept any help that's offered - - instead of struggling to do everything myself.

Even though I'm obstinate, stubborn, and annoyingly difficult - - I agree and fully understand their concern.

When I got out of rehab, I received help from a lot of people and couldn't have survived without it.

A group of home care nurses cleaned my kitchen and most of the house. 

A church group cleaned up all the trash in my garage and on the back porch. They also repaired a broken pipe in the kitchen and hauled away the old refrigerator.

A rock and gravel company put in a gravel driveway for free - - and another church group made a gravel walkway to my front porch.

A community service group from Cookeville fixed a broken water pipe under the house and installed a new toilet for free.

A nurse and her family brought me food and fresh fruit every Sunday.

I was completely overwhelmed, feeling that I didn't deserve such kindness.

Don't think that I never accepted help.

I'm fiercely independent. Some people enjoy sitting around, letting others do all the work. I want to do as much as I possibly can - - if it means crawling on my belly past death's door. It's my nature.

This past week was one helluva challenge. I'm still struggling. A lot.

On Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I was ravaged with such excruciating back, hip, and leg pain that I couldn't do anything. Had no food or water. Existed solely on a case of Pepsi that was by my wheelchair in the living room.

Late Tuesday afternoon I finally got my prescription meds. That night I managed to get my wheelchair into the hall where the doorway to the dining area is. The dining area is on a higher level than the hallway, so I can't just wheel in.

Somehow I was able to reach in and open the refrigerator door. I grabbed ham, cheese, and an apple. My first "meal" in three days.

By Wednesday night I was extremely frustrated. I was determined to get into the kitchen, if it was the last thing I did on earth.

I managed to push the wheelchair into the dining area. I got a can of ravioli from a shelf and literally shuffled and stumbled to the stove. Grabbed a nearby pan and heated it.

Food! I could hardly believe it.

And I continued this nightly ritual on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

It's now Sunday.

I've taken the last of my prednisone pills - - and they were nearly worthless. They alleviated the sciatica nerve pain, but my hip and back are still in excruciating pain.

I tried to sleep in my bed last night but the pain was so intense that I could only endure an hour.......

I crawled back to the wheelchair.

My biggest concern - -

I have extreme difficulty trying to stand and my right leg is useless. The only way I can attempt to walk is to slowly shuffle my left leg and drag along my right leg. 

Cute. I'm doing a great imitation of Quasimodo.

I could tell you horror stories that happened to me yesterday but I've said enough. And I don't want anyone to faint.

Life is one helluva bitch but I'm not giving up yet.

It's been cold. Frost in the morning and recently there were snow flurries.

Thanks for reading this. I hate to be a downer, but I sure don't have much to smile about.

Luv, Jon

I opened the door early this morning (in my wheelchair) and took this pic. Trees are bare and you can see the hills beyond.

 Belated thanks for all your comments on previous post!