SUNDAY, WITH COMMENTARY

What? Another update?

When you're alone all week trapped in a wheelchair, there's plenty of time to think and blog.

It's now been a year since I was discharged from physical therapy rehab and sent home. I don't recall the exact date but it was a few days before Thanksgiving.

Between the long hospital stay and rehab, I was away from home for six months.

It wasn't an easy transition. It was difficult and strange, trying to settle into some sort of normalcy.

It required some help and reassurance.

Lately I've been having an extremely upsetting setback due to serious back and spinal problems. Annoying, depressing, and frightening.

I don't give up easily. I'll survive.

My blogger friends are unanimous in saying that I should accept any help that's offered - - instead of struggling to do everything myself.

Even though I'm obstinate, stubborn, and annoyingly difficult - - I agree and fully understand their concern.

When I got out of rehab, I received help from a lot of people and couldn't have survived without it.

A group of home care nurses cleaned my kitchen and most of the house. 

A church group cleaned up all the trash in my garage and on the back porch. They also repaired a broken pipe in the kitchen and hauled away the old refrigerator.

A rock and gravel company put in a gravel driveway for free - - and another church group made a gravel walkway to my front porch.

A community service group from Cookeville fixed a broken water pipe under the house and installed a new toilet for free.

A nurse and her family brought me food and fresh fruit every Sunday.

I was completely overwhelmed, feeling that I didn't deserve such kindness.

Don't think that I never accepted help.

I'm fiercely independent. Some people enjoy sitting around, letting others do all the work. I want to do as much as I possibly can - - if it means crawling on my belly past death's door. It's my nature.

This past week was one helluva challenge. I'm still struggling. A lot.

On Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I was ravaged with such excruciating back, hip, and leg pain that I couldn't do anything. Had no food or water. Existed solely on a case of Pepsi that was by my wheelchair in the living room.

Late Tuesday afternoon I finally got my prescription meds. That night I managed to get my wheelchair into the hall where the doorway to the dining area is. The dining area is on a higher level than the hallway, so I can't just wheel in.

Somehow I was able to reach in and open the refrigerator door. I grabbed ham, cheese, and an apple. My first "meal" in three days.

By Wednesday night I was extremely frustrated. I was determined to get into the kitchen, if it was the last thing I did on earth.

I managed to push the wheelchair into the dining area. I got a can of ravioli from a shelf and literally shuffled and stumbled to the stove. Grabbed a nearby pan and heated it.

Food! I could hardly believe it.

And I continued this nightly ritual on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

It's now Sunday.

I've taken the last of my prednisone pills - - and they were nearly worthless. They alleviated the sciatica nerve pain, but my hip and back are still in excruciating pain.

I tried to sleep in my bed last night but the pain was so intense that I could only endure an hour.......

I crawled back to the wheelchair.

My biggest concern - -

I have extreme difficulty trying to stand and my right leg is useless. The only way I can attempt to walk is to slowly shuffle my left leg and drag along my right leg. 

Cute. I'm doing a great imitation of Quasimodo.

I could tell you horror stories that happened to me yesterday but I've said enough. And I don't want anyone to faint.

Life is one helluva bitch but I'm not giving up yet.

It's been cold. Frost in the morning and recently there were snow flurries.

Thanks for reading this. I hate to be a downer, but I sure don't have much to smile about.

Luv, Jon

I opened the door early this morning (in my wheelchair) and took this pic. Trees are bare and you can see the hills beyond.

 Belated thanks for all your comments on previous post!

RECAP AND UPDATE

You have been considerate and kind concerning my "health" problems, and I really appreciate that. I feel boring and helpless. I use this blog as a catharsis - - shamelessly releasing my emotions and eventually regretting it.

So - -

I'll recap the past few days.

When I was released from Livingston Hospital last Saturday at around noon, I felt fairly good - - plied with medications. When I got home I was able to walk and fix dinner.

The good times didn't last. By Sunday morning the excruciating, unrelenting pain in my hip, back, and leg returned with a vengence.

I couldn't walk at all, couldn't even move my right leg. Completely helpless, I just collapsed in the wheel chair in the living room. That was my homestead for the next three days.

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I lived in the wheelchair in the living room. The pain was so intense that I absolutely couldn't move. I had no food or water for three days. Fortunately there was a case of Pepsi near the front door which I had ordered from Walmart. I'm not exactly crazy about Pepsi, but it was cheap.

I managed to reach over and pry open the box. I existed solely on Pepsi for three days.

So - -

I'm trapped in the living room in a wheelchair. What? No bathroom?? Have you ever tried to pee in an empty Pepsi can? Don't. I have a pretty good aim. Most of the time.

What did I do for entertainment? I had my two cell phones with me (a new one and an old one). I was able to write blog posts and watch videos on YouTube.

I also had an important prescription to fill. Walmart pharmacy is IMPOSSIBLE to deal with online. I kept getting messages that they couldn't confirm my identity.

I've had a Walmart account for over twenty years. If they don't know my identity now, they never will.

Why don't they come over and watch me pee in a Pepsi can?

So - -

On Monday morning I called the Home Care office and had one of the nurses come over an get my prescription.

Another nurse would pick the prescription up on Tuesday and bring it to me.

That's one helluva long time to wait when you're in agonizing pain.

There was torrential rain on Tuesday afternoon. Ironically, Walmart delivered a kitchen cabinet that I ordered last week.

Finally the nurse came with my prescription. She also offered food but I politely declined. I don't want to be a pain in the ass.

So - -

It's now late Tuesday night....or early Wed. morning. Still in wheelchair, still in livingroom.

The new meds might be starting to help. I'm still in pain......but I managed to get my wheelchair into the hallway, by the kitchen and dining area.

I have presently been changing everything around in the kitchen. My (new) refrigerator isn't in the kitchen. I put it in the dining area near the hall.

So - -

I pulled the wheelchair up to the hall doorway. With a great effort I was able to reach the fridge and open the door! Somehow I managed to reach a few readily edible things - - ham, cheese, and an apple. Not exactly a meal, but better than three days of Pepsi.

I'm rambling too much. Better speed it up.

So - -

On late Tuesday afternoon I took my first dose of prednisone.

It's now Wednesday morning. According to the Internet, prednisone has about 500 side effects (very slight exaggeration). I haven't had any. So far.

The extremely intense nerve pain has somewhat subsided - - but my hip still hurts like hell. Can't lift my right leg or put any pressure on it while trying to stand. I'm still not able to walk.....but I made a heroic effort to get into bed. It failed. Too much pain and a fear that I'll never be able to crawl out again.

So, for right now, I'm back in the wheelchair. In the living room.

My phone battery is nearly dead. It's time to recharge.

Much luv, Jon

I didn't edit this. Hope it's ok.