Why reluctant? Because I'm tired of being depressing, negative, and moribund. My dismal existence makes Edgar Allan Poe look like a comedian.
Enough preliminaries. Let's cut to the chase.
I had appointment with the dermatologist in Cookeville yesterday, and it met my worst expectations. I didn't see the doctor, of course. It was the doc's assistant.
She said the monsterous lump on my upper right arm (squamous cell carcinoma) was too large to treat in the office. I have to have special surgery. It will take a few weeks to get an appointment.
The cursed intrusion on my arm bleeds profusely and often hemorrhages. Do I have to endure this for "a few" more weeks?
I'm afraid to move my right arm. It bled last night. It bled early this morning. I try to do things solely with my left hand. Curiously, I've always eaten with my left hand - even though I'm right-handed. Just one of my little "quirks".
The very tight bandages make my shoulder sore.
Some photos to enchant you.
The dermatologist's office in Cookeville
I think the assistant in the office did a crappy job of bandaging my arm yesterday. The "wound" is on the upper arm above the elbow.
One of the nurses changed the bandage this morning because of the bleeding.
After having an IV in my left arm for a week, my intravenous antibiotic routine is finally over. The antibiotics had nothing to do with my arm, it was for a serious infection In other realms of my ravaged self.
Things have been chaotic ever since I got stuck with Hospice. More and more people infiltrate my room every day (and night).
The Hospice people ask a multitude of questions, take my "vital" signs (if I have any), give me unwanted bed baths. Very polite people, but they have an underlying hope that I'll die.
The people here at Signature Health Care are the same assortment of nurses and doctors that come and go constantly.
Yesterday a Hospice nurse came to change the sheets and blankets on my bed.
Twenty minutes later a Signature nurse came to change the sheets and blankets on my bed.
What I miss most are the people from physical therapy. I'm not allowed to see them ever since my P.T. insurance coverage ran out.
My favorite therapist was Crystal, who was my close confidant. She always gave me great advice and let me know everything going on around here. Her husband was the one who fixed the broken steps to my front porch last year.
Crystal and I are a lot alike. I discovered we share the same birthday, December 13th.
Now I don't know who I can talk to about getting my much-needed physical therapy. It sure as heck can't be the Hospice Clan.
I'm actually severely depressed about many (many) things - - but I keep plodding on.......on......
Change of subject
The food here at Signature has been improving. They must have found a new cook - - who actually knows how to cook.
Yesterday they served Kentucky Brown sandwiches.
Never heard of them?
They were "invented" at the Brown Hotel in Louisville, KY in 1926.
Thick brown toasted bread, topped with roast turkey, lightly charred tomatoes, Mornay sauce, melted cheese, and bacon.
With our lunch there was also a tossed salad and cherry cheesecake. And potato chips.
My food tray.....It looked better in real and tasted great.
So what else is new?
Nothing much.
Welcome to May. I wish I could go outside and enjoy it like I used to.
I've been passing the time buying things I don't need (again).
Yesterday I got another delivery from the local Walmart. Lots of candy....and a big container of honey roasted peanuts.
Last night a church choir came in the facility here to sing hymns. It was so lovely. I couldn't see them because I'm confined to bed.
Very soothing with an intense pang of sadness....
The Amish choir came on Good Friday and they are absolutely heavenly.
I love the refreshing rural charm here.
Jon 💜 almost heavenly
Friday morning, my arm is bleeding again.......again.......
Grab anything you can enjoy! Few others are going to care, except we who follow you on the Internet, and we do nothing for you except wish you were out of this situation. Wishes, often do not come to pass.
ReplyDeleteLife is filled with unexpected things. It's best to try ignoring the worst and enjoy the best. Wishes help sustain us. Thanks, Donna.
DeleteI'm glad there was some music for you. Small comfort, I know. I think your spirit is the strongest part about you right now.
ReplyDeleteI think the choirs should visit more often. We both have strong spirits, and that's most important. Thanks, Liz.
DeleteI'm happy to hear you are getting the much needed attention for your arm, despite the two week wait.
ReplyDeleteThe food part is what truly got me through my days in rehab, that sandwich looks delicious.
My granddaughter is a hospice nurse, they truly have caring hearts, and oftentimes their patients are transitioned off their care if they feel they have improved and no longer need that diligence.
Praying for better days my friend.
Jo
The staff here at Signature is really helpful, thank goodness. I'm anxious to hear about my upcoming surgery, yet dreading it.
DeleteThe Hospice people are very kind. I do have the option to revert to the home care nurses I used to have - - if/when I can return home.
When my oldest son was just starting to take piano lessons his teacher would take all of her students to perform at a place like this. It seemed the people there appreciated it. They would gather in a big room to hear the kids. Now I am wondering if some listened from down the hall in their beds.
ReplyDeleteI'm certain that some of the people listened the piano concert from their rooms. Here at Signature Health Care the choirs wander through the halls singing, so no one has to leave their rooms.
DeleteGood food has a way of cheering people up - - and so does candy and peanuts. Sardonic ( and sarcastic) wit has been accompanying me all of my life. I suppose it supresses the depression.
ReplyDeleteSorry that there wasn't much good news for you (and us) this week Jon, but the choir performances and the candy stash, plus the improving food are some consolations, even if not nearly enough, my friend.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that I'm being plagued with one unpleasant thing after another. If it wasn't for the small pleasurable consolations, I'd completely lose my mind.
DeleteI'll keep fighting, Dorothy, and hope for the best.
thecontemplativecat here. Jon, I am not quite sure what to say that doesn't sound repetitive. You have been a brave soul, keep on fighting, keep on blogging. Whatever God has in your plans will happen. I am praying for you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel like giving up, but that would be cowardly. I've been through too much. I suppose I am a "brave soul", even though it isn't easy. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteYour dinner actually looks delicious, Jon!
ReplyDeleteOne of my biggest annoyances is communication -- or lack thereof. Seems epidemic nowadays -- and not just in the workplace. That's pretty discouraging about you not being able to interact/visit with Crystal. She seems like a special lady. Can y'all at least visit by phone or e-mail?
Lunch here is usually the worst meal of the day - - this week lunch has been great. They seem to be spoiling us (when we got cheesecake I thought about you).
DeleteCrystal has a handicapped child which takes up a lot of her time. I hate to bother her, but I think I'll try texting her.
I really want to start walking again (with a walker), so I can go home.
I eventually want to quit Hospice and get my Quality Home Care nurses again.
Who knows? Perhaps....
So very glad to hear you will be able to see somebody about your arm, even if you have to wait. I was having to wait a couple of months to get my face cancer removed but they just told me the surgeon left so they will get in touch with me when they get a new doctor. *sigh* I say halleluiah that you are finally set up to have somebody see it.
ReplyDeleteComfort foods are always the best! And if you have a new chef and can get food that looks like that--wow! That is a huge plus. Gives you something to actually look forward to! I hope you texted Crystal. :)
It's incredible how long we have to wait for dr. appointments. I certainly hope you can get a surgeon for your face cancer.
DeleteI was hoping they could remove my arm cancer in the office - - but everything turns into a complication.
I'll try to contact Crystal. Right now I'm in limbo with no one to talk to. My biggest fear is that I'll be here forever.....
I'm glad to read they found out what was on your arm. I heard of that condition before, and I believe it is typically caused by overexposure to ultraviolet (UV) rays from the sun. Were you in the sun a lot? I don't recall you say such...but caught, it is treatable thanks heavens. I wonder who is watching your home while your away? I sure hope all is ok with your homestead. Take good care Jon, and glad you got to hear some music. Id request to have a nurse take you outdoors. I bet it would do a world of good for you.
ReplyDeleteIn Southern California I was a sun worshiper - - and also when I lived in Texas. I was always very tan and my hair was extremely bleached from the sun. There's a wicked price to pay for being vain.
DeleteSunlight exposure is also very bad for your eyesight.
There are several neighbors around here who have been checking my house, but I haven't heard any recent updates.
How are you, Jon?
ReplyDeleteA few miles away from insanity.
DeleteThat sounds like an...interesting...place. ☺️
Delete