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I'm in one of my notorious foul moods and don't know exactly why. I'm thoroughly tired of the endless battles of existence. I'm disgusted of being trapped here in this physical "therapy" prison. I'm becoming a hater of humanity. A possible misanthrope.
Now that I established that horrifying fact, I'll enchant you with a medical update (I've been writing them for the past two years, and they sicken me).
Psychotically depressed?
If you were trapped in this friggin' place for six months, I guaran-damn-tee you'd be suicidal.
People coming in and out of my room unannouced all day. Checking my vitals, plying me with pills, examining me, questioning me, gawking, showing up EXACTLY when I'm pis- - peeing in the urinal. That's an unmitigated joy.
I've had a fever for two days. All I did last night was shiver uncontrollably.
What about the radiation? Two wound care doctors showed up yesterday. The new one is a clown. The last thing I need is a visit with Bozo.
My "regular" wound care dr. rebandaged my arm, MUCH too tightly. The pain shoots down to my fingers.
She said the cancer is shrinking and it's not bleeding too much. Last night I put a pad under my arm and it wasn't leaking, like it always does.
We're supposed to wait a week or so, to see if the radiation is continually working.....
another interruption while I'm writing this.
So waiting, waiting, waiting waiting, endlessly perpetually waiting
In the meantime, I created a lot more autumn images......which I know will thrill the dire unimaginative.
I'll put them in my next post and I know you can't wait.
Boys and girls, if I didn't have this as a haphazard hobby, I'd be cutting my wrists....and I am NOT jesting.
You have your sweet begonias and ice cream socials.
I have nothing
Jon 👹👺 Foul
Jon,
ReplyDeleteI feel so badly for you still trapped in rehab. My late friend Larry M. was in a similar situation. He finally insisted on going home and they let him go. He had ALS and he knew he was dying but he wanted to die at home. Which he did. I know every situation is different and he had family (wife and one daughter living at home and two other adult children who lived nearby). My concern for myself now is if I get worse than I am now someone will try to place me in a care facility. Isn't going to happen. I hope you can get out of your facility soon Jon.
Ron
"You have your sweet begonias and ice cream socials."
ReplyDeleteNow I am going to have to look this up because I don't know if you mean begonia the flower or some kind of sweet dessert that I need to take to the next ice cream social.
I only wrote that to annoy you.
DeleteI don't know how you do it. By this time, I be like screw you all and I'd release myself to go back home. I might not last long, but by damn at least I'd be happy and comfy in my own home with no pinches, prods, test, pricks, treatments and such. Just the calm of my own house. I can't imagine what you're going through.
ReplyDeleteJon, because you undoubtedly have annoyed some folks but those of us who have been here long term know of all your frustration, so go ahead and vent. Speaking for myself, I'm not going away and thanks for your comment on my glass museum post. It was a fascinating museum and glad we visited.
ReplyDelete