GLORIOUS AND FURIOUS

I don't know exactly how to write this, but yesterday (Tuesday) I found out some good news that is glorious and some other news that made me furious. I knew the furious news all along for the past six months that I've been here - - I'm not as dumb as I look. My intuition is almost always correct.

The wound care "team" has always come every Tuesday to tend to my three major wounds - - my hemorrhaging arm, the mysterious draining "wound" on my butt, and the continuous peeling dead skin on my legs....which are the leftover result of the severe edema that I once had (which now is gone).

The original "team" was only two people - - the wound care doctor, Andrea (I can't remember her surname) and her assistant, a (fat) nurse practitioner named Amanda.

The doctor Andrea is the only logical one. I never liked the assistant Amanda. Amanda is the one who did the biopsy on my arm last April which caused all the hemorrhaging when she hit an artery.

Amanda is also the one who continuously told me I'm going to die from the "mysterious" wound on my butt, although she never knew exactly what it was.

On top of all this, I have numerous weekly visits from Hospice team - the Grim Reapers - who are eagerly waiting for me to die, and keep reminding me of it. They are visibly disappointed when my vital signs are normal and I tell them I feel good.

I think I have been with Hospice over eight months, which is past the six month limit.

Anyway, the wound care team has changed. The doctor Andrea is still there - - but the weird assistant Amanda has vanished. There's another female assistant and another male doctor, both of whom seem to be new and still learning.

The male doctor is an annoying joker, whom I call Bozo. The wound care dr. Andrea doesn't seem to like him.

Is this confusing? Sorry. It's rather difficult to explain.

ANYWAY

yesterday the wound care doctor Andrea shocked me with some glorious news. I will no longer need wound care for anything except my legs. 

The cancerous wound on my arm has shrunk significantly and no longer bleeds (!!!!) and the mysterious "wound" on my butt isn't cancer. It is merely moisture and some drainage from the colon surgery and radiation that I had two years ago.

This is indeed glorious news - - but I am really furious about all the people who were  intent to see me die.

My gut instinct told me they were wrong.

I unfortunately have to see wound care again next Tuesday ( I think 21st) to check the progress on my arm.

This post is much longer than I anticipated. Sorry about that, but I wanted to attempt to explain everything.

Could I be out of here before the end of October?

I was going to end this post here, but an incident happened last night.

Since I've been ordering food from the local Walmart, I decided to buy a small, inexpensive microwave that perhaps I could use.

It was delivered around 7:00 last evening.

IMMEDIATELY, JUST LIKE THE GESTAPO

The Dragon Lady social worker stormed into my room, shouting loudly. You would have thought I stole the Crown Jewels.

I was shocked.

"You can't keep that here!" she yelled. "You better return that to Walmart immediately!"

I was speechless but angry. I had to think fast.

"That's for my own personal use when I get home," I said, "And thank God Almighty you won't have any authority there."

When somebody bullies you, you have to bully them right back.

Then I shouted "I'll be dumping Hospice in a few days, so I can get out of here!"

She left the room, speechless.

I honestly don't know what's going to happen. I no longer need wound care or Hospice.

It's a perfect time of year to escape.

Please wish me luck. It's going to be difficult, but I have to do it. If I don't, I'll have HUGE regrets.

Jon  ❤️  potential escapee

Top image, squirrels love Halloween