Sunday, July 25, 2021

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

 First of all, I'm completely buzzed on homemade wine and will not be responsible for anything I say. 

Since my two previous (well-written) blog posts generated absolutely no interest whatsoever, I've decided henceforth to write nothing but CRAP - - which might resonate more fully with the general public.
Why waste my time writing good, interesting, intelligent things?

Does Jon sound miffed?
Damn right he is.

Let's go to the Tokyo 2020 Summer Olympics.


When I first saw it advertised as the 2020 Olympics, I figured it was either a mistake - or I'm more drunk than I thought I was.
Isn't this year 2021?

You'd have to be drunk to get through the agonizingly endless opening ceremonies - which was the worst thing I ever endured,
since the stolen election and the permanent closing of K-Mart.

The 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympics can only be described as bizarre and spooky. Due to mass pandemic panic, NO audience is allowed and EVERYONE in the Olympics has to be permanently masked.

The stadium echoed with the absence of people. All seats were empty. Every once in awhile during the ceremony, mysterious applause and cheers were electronically piped in.

Speaking of electronic - - there was hardly any lighting at all. A few ghastly lights flickered feebly at opposite ends of the gigantic stadium.
It looked like the Safeway parking lot at 3:00 A.M.


The theme of the Olympics could easily be called a Pandemic Festival with a liberal seasoning of WOKE propaganda.

Did you watch any of the commercials? White crackers are not allowed.

The ceremony opened with a weird-looking masked Japan man who gave a tediously long and dire speech about the perils of the pandemic - - which sucked the Olympic Spirit right out of me.

 

Ironically -  - everyone in attendance was masked, EXCEPT for the group of Japanese children who sang the Olympic Hymn. They were all squeezed together completely maskless.

The "highlight" of the opening ceremony was the entrance of the athletes - who came from about six thousand different countries and which lasted over three hours.

7:00 p.m.
The NBC announcer proclaims "The American athletes will arrive soon."

8:00 p.m.
"The American athletes will arrive soon."

9:00 p.m.
"The American athletes will arrive soon."

The American athletes finally arrived around 11:00 p.m. - wearing the most atrociously ugly outfits I've ever seen. All the outfits were black with horizontal black and white stripes.
They looked like prisoners of war.

Of course, with our Marxist government and the perpetual pandemic hoax, we ARE prisoners of war.

It was nearly impossible to see the American athletes because it was too damn dark

Speaking of outfits -
DOCTOR Jill was there, wearing the same frumpy off-the-rack dress that she wore for the past six months. Looks like it was designed by Moms Mabley.

DOCTOR Jill wouldn't know glamor if it crawled up her leg and bit her on the ass

 

Where is Goddess Melania when we need her?

The NBC announcer assured us that your Leader Joe Biden was home, watching the Olympics on TV.

Bullshit. Creepy Joe was home because bringing him to the Olympics would have been an extreme embarrassment to our country - - like he was at the G7 Summit last June.
The senile clump of pudding doesn't have a clue where he is or what he's doing.

Settle down, liberals. You know I'm right on target.  

The four-hour entrance of the athletes could have been mercifully shortened if the completely unnecessary countries were eliminated. Countries such as Beliz, Benin, Botswana.....
and that's only the b's.

A possible first Olympic event:
Take all the unnecessary athletes from useless countries outside at dawn and have a public execution.
This would cut the Olympics down from two endlessly long weeks to one blessedly short week.

Jon, you're the most horrible blogger who ever existed.

I'm also the most interesting one - which is why you secretly visit me but never comment.

Fast Forward
to the first day of Olympic events. I eagerly tuned in to NBC - and what do I get?
Women's volleyball! Who the hell cares about women's volleyball??

Let's face it - the only reason this event exists is because it's a T & A fest, solely designed for ratings.

The last thing I want to see is a sweaty bunch of near-naked anorexic lesbians who don't seem to have any tits at all.

I'd much rather watch the near-naked male swimmers.
Aw, don't panic. I'm only jesting.
Maybe.

You know what I really miss? The Soviet female athletes in the long-ago Olympics. They all had unnatural bulk, five-o'clock shadow, and rampantly hairy armpits.

Those were the days.


Who designed the Olympic flame?
Helen Keller?

28 comments:

  1. OMG, Jon .... hands down, this is my favorite post ever. Well, maybe besides the 5th grade(?) waltz of the flowers. I'm laughing so hard!
    Please, please don't take this down before I have a chance to share it (privately) with a few like-minded friends.

    PS - For what it's worth, I could care less about watching the Olympics.

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    1. Many thanks, Myra - I can always count on you to appreciate my humble efforts. Feel free to share this anywhere. I have no doubt that it will shake up the liberals. I merely call the shots as I see them - - and I'm always right (*smile*).

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  2. I have never watched the Olympics and most times gave two shits about them. Much like the Oscars. So this year I confused why there even having them??? It looks ridiculous from snippets I've seen, almost 90 people now caught the virus, and no one is there?

    Was it really that important to have them? Much like this years Oscars. To me there both a snooze fest.

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    1. It's completely absurd to hold the Olympics with no audience and masked athletes. They should have waited until things seemed safer.

      I haven't watched the Oscars in years. It's nothing like it used to be.

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  3. You are in rare form with this post and, I love it!! This is the Jon I like to read. Olympics? Wouldn't watch even if you paid me.
    Maggie

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    1. I should probably get into the habit of drinking homemade wine more often before writing blog posts. It encourages me to be myself. I haven't been in a witty mood lately but I'm glad I wrote this. Thanks, Maggie.

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  4. I love you. Marching to a different drummer makes life intresting, as I have found out.

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    1. Hey, Ron, I'm flattered. If I didn't march to a different drummer I wouldn't be able to exist.

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  5. This is your best kind of blog entry. You should do it more often.

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    1. Thanks, Donna. I seem to have lost my wit and humor lately, but it's reassuring to know it's still there. When I write I'm mostly just thinking out loud. It's nice to know that my haphazard thoughts are appreciated.

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  6. OMG, you have definitely outdune yourself with this on, Jon - LOVE IT and I am sharing it on my FB page if you don't mind?

    I have no plans to watch the Olympics and its' sharade - What a freaking circus the liberals have made of it, too! Completely embarrassing. I feel sorry for the athletes and what is going on!

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    1. I knew you'd like this post, Kim. Feel free to share it anywhere. The liberals destroy everything they touch - the world has become an insane asylum because of them. They even managed to destroy the Olympics. As you said, it's a freak circus.

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  7. Well thanks Jon for watching that train wreck and giving us the skinny. ( Pun intended) I have not watched the Olympics ever since Tarah Lepinski stole the gold from Michelle Quan. ( Am I showing my age? Did I butcher their names? Ah, who cares..) BTW, I read the last two blogs... Probably didn't comment because I'm one of those people. Maybe I should drink a few additional adult beverages to make the TV viewing more fun. Maybe I can skip that last part and just enjoy the IPA without the visuals and noise. Anyway, I have not laughed that hard in a while and I needed it. Thanks for the "bad writing." It is always some of your best.

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    1. My crappiest blog posts always turn out to be my most popular ones - - which never fails to amaze me. I'll have to make more homemade wine and try to be crappy more often.

      I used to like the Olympics long ago, when I was young and dumb. Lately the Olympics and the Oscars are so incredibly BAD that they are intolerable. The liberals manage to destroy everything.

      I remember the Olympics with Lipinski and Quan. I never liked Lipinski, who seemed like an arrogant snot.

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    2. That is because little Tara WAS an arrogant snot! lol

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  8. Jon, you're the most horrible blogger who ever existed. (I'm also the most interesting one - which is why you secretly visit me but never comment.)

    DAMNNNNNN .... I feel exposed ... you know me so well and you just caused me to comment! Kudos and yes I'm being sincere and not sarcastic.

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    1. I always suspected that I had a duplicate somewhere - and I'm glad I finally inspired you to emerge from the shadows. Welcome!

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  9. Jon, I could take offense at your comment that no one else read your previous 2 blog posts because they were very interesting to me and a few other bloggers, the faithful few it seems. That said, I also enjoy this type of what you call a CRAP post. i have never watched the Olympics and would certainly not waste any time on this year’s also because I never watch any TV events, including entertainment awards shows. Streaming is my “go to” entertainment especially mysteries.

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    1. I was admittedly disappointed that I got so very few comments on the Ruess mystery, but I am deeply grateful that I can always count on a faithful few (including you, of course!).

      I just heard that the present Olympics have fewer viewers than ever, and I can certainly see why. Things have changed drastically from what they once were. Enthusiasm has waned for things like the Oscars, Olympics, and national sports.
      I prefer to watch movies and documentaries.

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    2. Thanks, Jon, and I can certainly understand your frustration. As you know, I (often) do lengthy posts on places visited or things that interest me. Thankfully, there are often appreciative and interesting comments from fellow bloggers, but not always. As you noted here mundane posts might garner more comments because it's likely easier to respond to these. That said, we (and other bloggers) should not despair. If no one or only a few comment, "who cares" is my attitude. Some bloggers post daily which makes it hard for me to read and comment every day (some should cut down as some are neither interesting or noteworthy). Everyone wants to say something, and the testament to that is called FB, thankfully blogging is my sole form of social interaction.

      Hopefully, I didn't offend the daily bloggers. If it makes them happy then they should continue on as I will. And, as far as I can tell, many of those bloggers haven't "discovered" your blog.

      Stick around my friend, I need both the interesting and the sarcastic. BTW still no plans to watch any of the Olympics, this year or in future.

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    3. Well said and my sentiments exactly! Unlike pretty much everyone else I know, I DO NOT LIVE on the internet or my blogs for that matter. I work and do not always have the free time some folks have and I figure I am not the only blogger in that catagory. :)

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  10. I am laughing so hard, this was great Jon!! ♥️Susan

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    1. I'm glad I gave you some laughs. Thank you, Susan!

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  11. I too laughed through your post. Especially about Biden...heck,he was probably watching the girls volleyball matches :-) He's icky.
    I do watch some of the Olympics but this year is awful to try and watch with no spectators, canned applause etc. Those poor athletes! Wendy

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    1. In my humble opinion, the entire purpose of the Olympics is having audience interaction with the athletes. It is very strange and spooky to see an empty stadium and athletes performing for ghosts. And those creepy masks make things even worse.
      As for Biden - he's a complete joke.
      Glad I provided you with some laughs, Wendy.

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    2. Jon, you are sooo right! To me, the audience helps to give the athletes energy and helps to provide them with the POSITIVE motivation to push on. As for Simone Biles ... well - she QUIT without trying for her teamates or herself - just my view. :)

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  12. Personally I'm waiting for the Winter Olympics and Ice Dancers.

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