WHAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW

What you might not know about me. This is a post that is rather different from the usual things I write. You might have heard some of these before, but just pretend you didn't.

BTW

I don't like the above collage, but thought it's appropriate for this post. Too much of me. My high school senior photo when I was sixteen.

That crappy shirtless pic was taken when I sailed to Catalina with a friend. That's the time I dyed my hair brown. The story is ultra dramatic....too long to tell.

The pic with the cigarette was taken when I was about 52. Do I smoke?? Naw, I only do that to look....tough.

Am I tough? Nope. I'm easy. A genuine sweetheart.

SO.....

what don't you know about me?

I was four years old in the first grade. I attended Rutgers Preparatory School - - the most prestigious private school in New Jersey. They gave me tests beforehand and I passed with flying colors. Some of my classmates arrived at school in chauffeur-driven limos. My father drove me in a green Chevy.

RUTGERS PREP

FIRST GRADE WAS ON THE TOP FLOOR

I am a poor speller. I have to look up almost every word. Incredibly, when I was in 6th grade I won a district spelling contest in Pomona, California. I still don't know how the heck I did it.

I'm ambidextrous. Probably because I was a pianist. I practiced hours every day, training my hands.

The average pianist can comfortably span an octave, eight keys. I can span ten keys with my right hand, twelve keys with my left.

When I was fifteen, I was forced to play football in gym. I hated football - - didn't know a touchdown from a hoedown. Some huge fat SOB tackled skinny me. Somehow I landed on my bent wrist. It swelled up like a balloon and was fractured. I couldn't play the piano for a year.

To this day, I can't bend my left wrist.

When I was 12 years old, I played piano on the radio (a local minor station). I accompanied a singer from Japan, Freita Kajiah. She was the mother of one of my friends. She sang Ave Maria, the famous Bach- Gounod version.

When I was fifteen, I won one of the national Charles Rosen awards for one of my piano compositions. Made the local newspapers.

Some of my (many) compositions

I'm telling too many music stories. Boring?

When I was about 19 (?) I stole a library book. The only thing I ever stole in my life. A rare Russian book about Tchaikovsky. I still have the book.

When I was twelve I had Judo lessons in Anaheim. I was (surprisingly) pretty good. I earned three belts.

What, another music tale?

When I was fourteen, I gave my first public concert in Corona, California. I played some pretty impressive stuff - - music by Debussy, Sibelius, Haydn, Mendelssohn, Schubert. I was so nervous my skinny legs were shaking and I could hardly pedal.

Okay

when I left California (in my early 30s) and went to the Ozarks, I earned my living as a freelance writer. Besides legitimate articles, I wrote erotic fiction. My  pseudonym was Jon Kalendor. It was easy. I'd get $150 for each story.

I published an article in the New Jersey Monthly. It was about my great-uncle Frederick Lang, who was executed (at age 24) in 1909 for murder. I got $2,000 for the article. 

This post is probably getting boring.

Wait a minute! Me, boring?? Never!!

I attended three years at Cypress College. I studied piano, composition, conducting. My second instrument was the cello. I was definitely the worst cellist in California. Maybe the USA.

I was chosen as a student piano teacher at Cypress. I truly hated giving piano lessons. Believe me, I'm no teacher.

Let's end this post with some hot items.

When I was a 20 yr. old slumming in Hollywood, I was offered to be in a gay porn movie - for a very good price. I knew the director....I blogged a post about him long ago. I went to a Halloween orgy in his Beverly Hills mansion.

Would I do a porn movie? Hell, no! I might have been a semi-slut, but not a public one.

Don't faint! I don't want to shock you. Not much, anyway.

I'll end this with one that you probably know. I wrote a blog post about it, The Midnight Shift.

Back in Orange County, where I was a security guard for awhile (I was about 24 or 25). I worked the midnight shift at the very large Goodwill Warehouse in Santa Ana. I was totally alone there from 11:00pm until 7:00am.

I'll try to condense a very long story. The janitor started to hang around with me on my shift (he wasn't supposed to be there after midnight). It turns out he was a serial killer! He murdered his wife for insurance money. He told me some very horrifying things. He drugged and raped a young man. He killed someone else. He made sexual advances with me. I said no way, but I tried to humor him. He would act normal at times, but often went into terrifying trances.

One night he killed one of the young Goodwill (daytime) workers and hid the body in a trash compactor right by my office! That night the janitor didn't show up. I was alone unknowingly with the corpse! 

I later found out the murdered young man was named John and several people said he resembled me.

The janitor stole private records from my office and got my phone# and address. I had no doubt he wanted to kill me.

Short ending.

I quit my job at Goodwill. The janitor left California....and was never heard from again.

I still shudder when I remember those long nights when I was alone with him. He was a genuine maniac.

End of post.

Thanks for reading this.

Jon

I had a helluva interesting life