IF I HAD YOU

I recently made a video with Rudy Vallee singing A Girl Like You, in which I included photos of actresses from the silent film era.

In order to be balanced and fair to the sexes, I just made another video. This time Rudy Vallee is singing If I Had You, and I included photos of actors from the silent film era.

I actually have better things to do than make these worthless videos, but I thoroughly enjoy it. It quenches my creative urges. Sort of.

There is (perhaps) a mundane "sameness" about the actors of the 1920's - the hair, the look, the style - but they are intriguing nevertheless. Not to mention sexy.

I'm definitely no prude, and I'm consistently unshockable - - but I am surprised at how many of them were gay. Out of the fifteen actors I've chosen, only seven were straight.

Who are the "straight" ones"? you ask.
Hugh Allan, Francis X. Bushman, Douglas Fairbanks, Wallace Reid, Antonio Moreno, Lou Tellegen, Harold Lloyd.

And don't let the marriages fool you. Many actors married simply as a cover-up to save their careers. Charles Farrell, Richard Barthelmess, and Valentino come to mind. And perhaps Buddy Rogers.

Rudolph Valentino was married twice - both times to lesbians. His first marriage to Jean Acker lasted less than 24 hours. Acker locked him out of their hotel room before the honeymoon began.

While I'm on a roll, here are a few more random facts about some of these actors:

George O'Brien (the first actor on my video) was the son of the San Francisco chief of police. O'Brien started out as a nude "art" model before getting into films. He had a sexual fling with Rudolph Valentino (so did Richard Barthelmess).

Lou Tellegen was a popular actor of the 1920's, but in 1929 his face was disfigured in a fire. He fell asleep smoking in bed. After undergoing extensive plastic surgery, he became deeply depressed. In 1934 he committed suicide by slashing himself with a pair of sewing scissors and attempting to cut his heart out.

Wallace Reid - known as "the screen's most perfect lover" - became hopelessly addicted to drugs and died at the age of 31. 

William Haines - very popular in the 1920's - was so obnoxiously gay that he was eventually fired and banished from making films. He later became a highly successful interior decorator.

Douglas Fairbanks was married to actress Mary Pickford for sixteen years. He deeply regretted their divorce in 1936. 
Mary Pickford subsequently married Charles "Buddy" Rogers, who was much younger than her. Rumor has it that Buddy Rogers wanted a mother, not a wife.

Ramon Novarro was notoriously gay and had affairs with more actors than I can remember.
Novarro was brutally murdered by two male hustlers on Halloween night in 1968. I saw the house where he was murdered - and it's supposedly haunted.
More about Novarro in a future post.

Hopefully this wasn't too boring.

DISCOMBOBULATED THOUGHTS

These are weeds but they're lovely

Discombobulated, Jon?

Yea, every once in a while I like to use big words. I have no idea what the heck it means. It just looks good.

In my previous post I promised that I would address all of your comments in my next post. Well, this is my next post and I'm too lazy to address your comments individually. I'll merely sort of generalize.

I've had a few beers, so I'll ask for forgiveness in advance for my disjointed ramblings.

First of all, mysterious and anonymous "NB" brought up the subject of scorpions and wondered if I ever saw my cats kill one. In Texas, my oldest cat Scratch killed several scorpions but I never actually saw how she did it. I had heard that cats are immuned from the venom of a scorpion sting - - but upon doing research I discovered that it isn't true. Cats have padded paws, thick fur, and tough upper palates which helps protect them from the sting.

On the subject of the memoir that I am thinking about writing: it's unanimous! Apparently everybody is in favor of me spilling my darkest secrets like sacrificial blood and offering them for public consumption. So I'll do it.
What have I got to lose - - except my dignity, my reputation, my privacy, my friends, and my relatives?

What reputation, Jon?

I actually think everyone should write a memoir. We all have special stories to tell and they should not remain unspoken. It doesn't have to be a masterpiece - - merely a documentation of memories. At any rate, it's a beneficial catharsis. Several of my blog readers have mentioned wanting to write and they definitely should. Don't let your existence evaporate.

End of lecture.

I've managed to overcome my apprehensions about writing my Hollywood memoir. I was initially worried that it wouldn't be interesting, but I actually have an over-abundance of intriguing stories to tell. And they're not all X-rated.

I was worried about the problem of name-dropping and the possibility of being sued, by the living and/or the dead. The dead can come back to bite. Trust me on that.

Careful evaluation of each situation and a selective choice of wording might save my hide. I'll also (unfortunately) have to change some names when relating compromising situations.
 Like the time I had a four-day non-stop tryst with a film director in the Beverly Hills Hotel.......
 .....or the time I was in the car with the naked actor and I leaped out and ran away when the police stopped us......
or the time I was in a midnight police raid at the notorious Drake Theater (those three incidents are worthy of a book in themselves)

I'm not bragging. I'm just saying.

I'm suddenly (and sadly) realizing that most of these things happened 35 years ago (or more), and many of the places and people I knew are no longer pertinent. My exploits might seem slightly archaic and largely inconsequential. It was a different era but an extremely colorful one.

Now I'm starting to depress myself. 

I suppose I can safely express my observations about people I've met without any major repercussions. 
John Wayne was a rude drunk. Groucho Marx was extremely fragile and nearly senile. Liza Minnelli is a sweetheart but slightly discombobulated (there's that word again). Joan Rivers was intelligent and surprisingly sensitive. Burt Reynolds is more gay than bi.

Hey, I'm certainly no expert on Hollywood. I don't profess to be an historian. And I'm not about to write a celebrity "tell-all" because I don't know all.

I can only offer what I've experienced and observed.  Hollywood is tawdry and fickle, illusional and delusional, very often ruthless and brutal, one gigantic elaborate sham. A lot of tarnish beneath the glitz. The truth that I knew is deliciously stranger than fiction.


Change of subject (and not a moment too soon)

Rain, rain, and everything is green and lovely.

What about those mysterious "ghost" lights that I've seen in the forest? 
The nights have been cold here lately. The lights have been sparse but I did see some a few nights ago. I'm still puzzled because there is no logical pattern as to when they appear. My guess is still fireflies - yet, I've never before seen fireflies on such cold nights. 

 This is the forest by my property where the "ghost" lights reside