THE LION ROARS

The first day of March was a balmy 80 degrees and gentle as a lamb. 

Two days later - Friday the 3rd - a restless lion appeared out of nowhere and roared like the devil.

My area of rural Tennessee was pummeled by the wrath of nature. A high wind warning was in effect all day (70 M.P.H. "gusts") and a severe storm warning, accompanied with a tornado watch. There were four power outages - - fairly brief in duration but annoying, nevertheless.

The day was foul, furious, and dangerous. The raging wind toppled several nearby forest trees. This perpetuated my foremost fear. The fragile shack that I live in is surrounded by tall trees. If any of them fell on my "house", it would be completely pulverized and I........would be toast.

The wind warning was supposed to subside by sunset, but raged on for several more hours. I couldn't breath a feeble sigh of relief until things calmed down by midnight.

My energy was completely sapped. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep. unfortunately, the insolent indoor mice and strange animals scurrying on the roof kept waking me up all night.

This rural life in squalor has completely destroyed me. I'm still plagued by multitudinous problems, but have decided not to detail them in my blog posts. What's the use? My blog readership has dwindled from approximately 800 "views" a day to a recent 95 views a day.

Well;, at least a few kind souls still visit my blog to see if I'm still alive.

I keep trying to convince myself that I'm still kicking.

My previous post - all about tea - was probably boring, but at least it wasn't tainted with my complaints.

Anyway, thanks for being here. I'll try to make my future posts complaint-free (not an easy endeavor.....)

                            Jon

The storm clouds, finally subsiding near dusk

 

THE FIRST OF MARCH

 I have a lot to write about, but nothing that you'd probably want to hear. So instead, I'll inflict you with some uninteresting photos taken yesterday, the first day of March.

My ancient El Cheapo digital camera is fading fast (much like myself...). The photos look bland and lifeless.
I envy all of you bloggers who take gorgeous, crisp, beautiful photos with your cell phones. Your cell phones probably cost more than my house did. I have a cell phone, but it's pathetically inexpensive and takes worse photos than my digital camera.

A pox on being a pauper.

Have I annoyed you with my negativity? Well take it with a proverbial grain of salt. It's just part of my enigmatic charm. I've been in a negative mood for the past decade....

Did March arrive like a lion or a lamb? Probably a lamb.

Sunshine actually emerged and the temperature soared to 60 degrees (that's Fahrenheit, for those of you in the Belgian Congo). Three nights ago we had snow flurries. In a few more weeks it will be spring.
Sweet spring.

The back yard woods look hideous, after  violent storms and ravaging winter.

I haven't seen a blue sky in such a long time that I nearly forgot what it looks like.

A few frazzled evergreens basking in the sun.

A foreboding woodland maze suitable for breadcrumb trails, Hansel and Gretel, and gingerbread houses inhabited by witches....
 

A bird's nest that the wind blew down on the back porch. Fortunately there were no eggs in it.

Neighboring hills as seen from front porch.

And bunnies waiting for spring......

 

..........and Bosco is lonely, waiting for spring.
I used to have three cats. Now I only have one.
The house seems empty.

I THINK IT'S MARCH

 

Two (or was it three?) weeks ago the temperature dropped to seven degrees (Fahrenheit) at night, there was a Big Power Outage (capitalized for emphasis), and I honestly thought I was going to freeze to death.

Last weekend the temperature soared to nearly 70 degrees, there was a strong dry wind, and it almost felt like I was back in Texas.

By Monday, March 1st, the daytime temp plummeted to 38 degrees and I had to put the extra blankets back on my bed. The drastic changes in temperature always affect my delicate constitution and I get vicious migraines.

You thought I was tough and durable, didn't you?
In reality I'm a curious cross between Marcel Proust and Blanche DuBois. 

I haven't been blogging much lately. All the things I really want to say are controversial - and I know that scares the living doo-doo out of most of you.

My personal life is inundated with problems and unimaginable misery - which, of course, you don't want to hear.

So, what's left?

Last month some of my mail was stolen (or mysteriously vanished) from my mailbox - which included an EXTREMELY important letter that had details about a scheduled appointment. Fortunately I got things straightened out and re-scheduled for mid-March.

Next, I received a rain-soaked letter which stated that I owe several thousand dollars in back payments.
Fortunately, before I dropped dead from shock, I saw that the letter was for the guy who used to live here.
I'm still getting a LOT of mail for him, despite the fact that I informed the post office to stop sending it here.

I lived in this place for over six years, and it was supposedly empty for three years before I bought it. SO, the previous resident hasn't lived here in nearly ten years.
I smell a rat.
In fact I smell a Big Rat.

I feel sorry for anybody who owes money, but I sure as hell don't want to be a part of it.

After six years in this small place I still haven't figured out where to put everything. I bought extra shelves and other storage paraphernalia (try spelling that when you're drunk) but it hasn't helped much.
My garage is filled to the ceiling with things I have no room for. If the Board of Health ever saw it, I would be condemned. Or banished. Or executed.

I recently bought a small writing desk for my bedroom and a much-needed bookcase.
When I moved from Texas I left a lot of furniture for the people who bought my house - including two desks and a huge bookcase.

This post is starting to bore me - - so I can only imagine what it's doing to you.

March is here! Which means St. Paddy's Day , the beginning of spring, and soon Easter.
We can all eagerly wave bye-bye to wicked winter.

 

WELCOME TO MARCH

Hard to believe that the third month of the new year is here already. The above vintage picture of Ireland is intended to put you into a March mood.

I plan to write a few more Hollywood-oriented blog posts....

I'll wait a moment until you calm down from the excitement

....but I'm presently inundated with problems and ill health (so what else is new??), which seriously impedes my creativity, wit, and irresistible charm. 

What's wrong with your health, Jon?

What's right with it ? The short version is that I feel like I died three weeks ago.

What problems, Jon?

My problems are presently so multitudinous that I use a special computerized file system to sort them.

Presently, my biggest problem is the furnace - which has been blowing cold air instead of heating.
As fate would have it, next week is predicted to be extremely cold - with frigid weather arriving on Sunday night.

I innocently thought Tennessee was a temperate southern state. If anybody had told me that there would be penguins and ice floes in March, I wouldn't have moved here.

So....
I've been doing research about errant furnaces on the Internet and learning incredibly boring but eye-opening things.

My gut instinct (which is usually wrong) tells me to check out the heating ducts, which could have been damaged by the friggin' wild animals that weasel their way under the house.
I'll try to investigate tomorrow (Saturday) - - if I can summon the courage.
I may look tough, but I'm a sissy.

Change of subject.


I sent my first text on my new cell phone last night (to my cousin Nancy).
It was a difficult procedure because the new phone is a LOT different than my old one was.

So...
everything was going fine - until I tried to send a second text. Suddenly I got a "no service" message.

Cell phone reception isn't particularly good out here in the boonies. Sometimes, in order to successfully send a text I have to go to a different room, or stand outside on the front porch, or out in the back near the forest and hold the phone up towards the east - in the direction where the town is located
(no, I am not kidding!!!!!)

Anyway, last night I couldn't send texts at all - no matter where I was. Yet - strangely enough - I could still make phone calls.

Life is one BIG, irritating enigma.

But you already knew that.

 

 

LIKE A LION?

Did March arrive like a lamb or a lion?
All I know is that it greeted rural Tennessee with a heckuva lot of rain.

It poured steadily for the past few days and then suddenly - just as I was about to write this blog post - a chilly wind arrived, the clouds parted, and everything brightened with golden rays of the late afternoon sun.

I grabbed my El Cheapo camera and captured the momentous event from one of the rain-speckled windows. 

If these photos don't enthrall you, I don't know what will.

I had initially planned to drive to town today, but the heavy rain, thick mud, and mountain fog stopped me. I'll be forced to go tomorrow. I'm nearly out of cat food.
Not for me.
For the trio of cats.

Speaking of cats, I woke up this morning with a completely numb left arm and an overwhelming feeling of suffocation and impending doom.

Bosco was sleeping on my left shoulder and neck. His heavy body was pressed up against my jugular vein. A few more minutes of this rude intrusion and I would have passed out and croaked.

Death by Cat.

This photo of Bosco was taken when I first moved here. He's bigger and heavier now. 

Since the Academy Awards are only a few days away, I had planned on doing some posts about Hollywood. But I've been too lazy and uninspired. And busy with unpleasant things.

So, I'm offering a video that I made about four years ago when I lived in Texas (you've probably already seen it).

It doesn't depict glamorous Hollywood - it captures the seedy, anonymous, dangerous midnight underworld that I experienced and knew so well.

Crazy as it sounds, there are times when I yearn for that reckless lifestyle again.
I was young and intent on adventure. What I loved most was the sense of freedom.....and danger.

 Are there photos of me somewhere in this video? Who knows.

Full-screen viewing is best.