I'm soused on homemade wine (again), which helps make this bitch of a life seem a little more palatable. I'm giving you fair warning to leave now, if you happen to be the prissy sensitive type.
I'm sure my recent political posts were disliked by many. I definitely plan to post more of them. I get a huge sadistic kick from irritating the living hell out of you liberals.
I'm sure many of you were vexed and perplexed at my recent open "letter" to Mike.
Jon, you're so mean!
Here's a flash:
If you ever had that hateful nasty old bastard endlessly insulting you for the past decade, you wouldn't merely write a letter - - you'd hire a hit man.
So -
what's this about "it's finally over"?
I'm talking about the Tokyo Summer Olympics -
which took place in 2021 but is advertised as the 2020 Olympics.
The theme of the Olympics should have been
"Death by WOKE".
Flame
it's the Olympic flame
I courageously watched the Closing Ceremonies, just so I could relay my undiluted opinions to you.
In a proverbial nutshell - - next to the G7 Summit last June, the Tokyo Closing Ceremonies was the worst event I ever saw in my entire life.
Did you watch any of the Olympic "games"?
I tuned in several times just to see what was going on. All I kept getting, day and night, was volleyball with the U.S.A. women's team. Non-stop. It was like an eternal rerun from the Hell Network.
I absolutely couldn't understand the insane obsession with watching a bunch of sweaty, anorexic, near-naked Lesbians tossing a ball around on a bed of fake sand in front of a stadium of missing people.
They finally won the Gold Medal. Probably because they were the only team there. Despite the plague mask mandate - the dykes were hugging and kissing with no masks in sight.
(Man? Date? No pun intended)
They weren't really ALL dykes, were they, Jon?
Probably not, but it's much more fun to think that they were.
Next time I tuned in there was a skateboarding competition. I couldn't believe it. Skateboarding is now an Olympic sport. At what depths of absurdity have we sunk? I wouldn't be surprised if they soon have jacks and tiddlywinks.
Did you happen to see the transgender Olympian?
Laurel Hubbard is a New Zealand weight lifter.
HeShe was on the women's team.
Unfortunately, after three miserably thwarted attempts to lift weights, Laurel was disqualified from the team.
A biological man couldn't lift weights on a woman's team. HeShe should probably enter the Tiddlywink category in the upcoming 2024 Olympics.
HeShe Laurel Hubbard
I'm seriously considering entering the upcoming 2024 Olympics as a skateboarding Ethiopian woman.
In this mass enthusiasm for WOKE culture, I will be accepted with open arms.
U.S.A. gymnast Simone Biles - - touted as the greatest gymnast who ever lived in the entire history of the world - - huffed out of the Olympics because she was inexplicably making balance beam blunders.
She sheepishly crawled back into the Olympics a few days later - - to win a Bronze Medal. Better bronze than nothing.
Simone
the greatest ever
So what about the Closing Ceremonies?
They were conducted in nearly total darkness, just like the Opening Ceremonies were. I don't understand what this "Lights Out" policy is in Tokyo.
Possibly keeping the lights off so they don't contribute to global warming??
Just an innocent uneducated guess.
As usual, there were no spectators in the stadium - and everyone else in attendance was masked.
Are Gold Medals awarded for perpetuating Phantom Pandemics?
The two "hosts" were Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski - - ironically the two most unlikable white crackers in Olympic history. Lipinski looked thirteen and sounded like Betty Boop on helium.
Question:
Why were two ice skaters chosen as hosts for the Summer Olympics?
Johnny Weir's perpetual unabashedly annoying gayness permeated the entire stadium like a Liberace fart.
Afterwards, I felt an uncontrollable urge to get a vaccine for PPS (Peter Pan Syndrome).
I'm still wearing a mask to filter out fairy dust.
Johnny Weir
in his Summer Olympic attire
What's the matter, Jon - - are you homophobic?
Comrades, my past perverted sexual exploits would make Tinkerbell Weir look like a rank amateur.
Relax. I'm only jesting.
Maybe.
Maybe.......
Have you ever heard the Japanese National Anthem? It's as perplexingly complex and unabashedly irritating as Stravinsky's Rite of Spring.
Soprano Tomotara Okamoto belted out the Olympic Hymn with such unbridled FORTE force that my ears are still ringing and I'm suddenly having nightmares about erotic encounters with operatic Sumo wrestlers.
Observation:
During the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, the American athletes wore hideous black outfits that made them look like prisoners of war and caused them to vanish in the dimly-lighted stadium.
During the Closing Ceremony they wore white - - which was racist, of course, but at least enabled them to be seen.
Rumor hazzit that she was called back to D.C. - - probably to change Joe's diaper and administer his doses of Donepezil and Namzaric.
Look it up. You'll learn something.
Ravishing and brilliant DOCTOR Jill
Are you getting bored?
You're not half as bored as I am. And I'm definitely NOT in a funny mood.
But I'll valiantly plod on with highlights of the Closing Ceremonies.
There was a Japan man in a dress, banging a grossly oversized drum.
And a Japan woman dressed like a tree, doing an interpretive dance. She looked like Isadora Duncan in seaweed.
And the children. What would the Olympics be without the children? A dozen little rugrats who looked unnervingly like an Asian version of the von Trapp family - - endlessly singing about world peace and unity.
By the fourth chorus, my ongoing dislike of children was definitely confirmed.
By the eighteenth chorus, I was thinking:
Where is the atom bomb when we need it?
Oh, lighten up, comrades. I'm not half as bad as I sound.
Maybe.
All in all, the 2020 Summer Olympics (which took place in 2021) was a resounding disaster and an incredible waste of time.
No audience. No applause. No lights. And ubiquitous plague masks.
In a few hours we'll forget who won the medals and what their names were.
We can all look forward to the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris - which I'm certain will be in a pandemic lockdown with plague masks and stadiums filled with ghosts.
Unfortunately, I have been forced to switch my comment settings back to Comment Moderation - due to the Troll Pandemic.
