Showing posts with label lamentations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lamentations. Show all posts

Monday, June 20, 2022

IN THE MIDST OF JUNE



In the midst of June, at the threshold of summer, in the torrid grasp of unrelenting heat, in the lush impossibly green tangle of overgrown trees and shrubs, in the intolerable assault of raging insolent insects, in the balmy embrace of endless days, in the lulling caress of wakeful nights.

Humid, fog-shrouded dawns.
Sunsets bathed in crimson blood.
Lightning bugs silently swimming in a thick twilight haze.
Soothing memories of long-ago summers sifting through my restless mind during the dreamy, drowsing hours.

The massive embrace of impending summer serves to temporarily obscure the insurmountable problems that are presently plaguing my existence and ravaging my soul.

I can't write about them here. I wouldn't dare. 
They will brazenly manifest themselves over the depthless slumber of my grave.

Is this too dramatic, too poetic, too incomprehensible?

Blame it on the homemade wine that sustains me and creates a barrage of words and phrases that I otherwise would never have the capability to write.

Every morning while I'm in bed, watching the mystic waves of fog drifting outside my open window, I hear the plaintive soothing call of a distant mourning dove.
It is a comforting reassurance that my utter dissolution, disenchantment, desolation doesn't exist alone.

Ignore my lamentations. You would never choose to understand them. I'm an enigma unto myself.

                         Jon


My front yard this morning - - wild, untamed, a tangle of complete hopelessness.


My front porch this morning, engulfed in a nightmare of unrelenting greenery.


In the back of the house, where forest trees were toppled from raging storms. A massive void is there, but the remaining trees are full and lush.


Unflattering view of the monstrous back "yard"


Bosco, taxing my nerves as he explores places that he shouldn't be.


Bosco, lonely without his two feline companions Kitzee and Scruffy (I miss them, too)


In the unkempt living room


Friday, February 11, 2022

LAMENTATIONS IN A NAKED FOREST

I miss my Kitzee immensely. Sixteen years is a long time to coexist with a cat. I still feel her presence.

Get over it, Jon. It was only a cat.

Anybody who can just "get over" things is a cold-hearted bastard.  

Someday I'll tell about digging her grave. Three days of work - in soil as hard as cement. I felt that I was digging my own grave. Perhaps I was...... 

I've been psychotically depressed for a long time. Bitter. Angry. I'm depressed over a myriad of legitimate problems. The death of Kitzee was merely one more wound to endure.

This roller coaster weather is beyond intolerable.  60 degrees (Fahrenheit) one day, 20 degrees the next.
Today was a balmy 63 degrees, with ceaselessly howling winds that made things seem more chilly. Tomorrow the temperature is supposed to drop drastically. Ice predicted by Sunday. Ice.....

Bad weather and physical maladies have kept me from walking outside for a long time. Today when I wandered outside I was absolutely stunned. The damage from our tornadic storms in December was much more extensive than I realized.

Many more trees were toppled than I had imagined. Most of the "paths" where I walked through the forest are now blocked.

During the past seven years that I lived here, I often looked at the tall cluster of trees that were very near the house - and fervently hoped they'd never blow down.

Well, many of them did - - and they landed only inches (yes, inches) from the house. I suppose it's a miracle that my humble abode wasn't crushed and pulverized.

Here's a picture I took a few days ago. The trees just missed my bedroom and the back porch.

I don't know how the hell I'm going to clean this rubble up, and I'm at the point that I don't care. Thank goodness I have a chainsaw. Now all I need to do is learn how to use it.......
 

Here are some more photos of my back "yard" that I took today.

One lone courageous tree standing near the pile of rubble.
 


I had initially planned to write a Valentine post, but I'll probably just scrap it. After all, it's just another day that was designed to make us feel guilty and spend money.

                                           Jon

                                           heart of hearts