Saturday, September 19, 2015


weird photo
looks like a Halloween cat 

I've decided to write another crappy blog post because my bad posts always generate interest. When I'm brilliant and verbose, people run in the opposite direction.

Jon? Brilliant?? Surely you jest.

My brilliance is often overlooked because frantic people are too busy trampling one another to get to an exit.

Okay, Jon, dazzle us with a bad post. Whether you're brilliant or lousy, we can't tell the difference.

If I were a narcissist I'd take that as a compliment. 

Yes. Unexpectedly. 
I decided to make an early dinner about an hour ago. I eat whenever the time suits me. Sometimes it's late afternoon, other times late at night.

Everything was going perfectly. The meal was almost ready. I stepped outside to empty a pan of hot grease. I don't know how the hell it happened - perhaps a ghost pushed me - but I lost my footing, nearly tripped, and the pan of grease spilled all over my left arm. The worst part of the burn is on my wrist.

After extracting a few choice foul words from my X-Rated vocabulary, I decided to Google first aid treatments for grease burns. 

"Run cold water on the burn and see your doctor."

I'll bet the author of that helpful tip was a member of the American Medical Association.

Let's put it bluntly:
There will be Ice Cream Parlors in hell before I'll see a doctor for a grease burn. I don't have medical insurance and - unlike those who do - I don't make a career out of running to doctors. I've known many people who thoroughly enjoy spending 95% of their lives in doctor's waiting rooms. It's a great American pastime.

The only time I'd ever think of going to a doctor would be if a rabid coyote bit me on the ass. Or a grizzly bear chewed off one of my legs.

What a rant, Jon! Do you feel better?

Naw, my arm still hurts.

I mean emotionally better. Did you release all your pent-up emotions?

Hey, Kemo Sabe - -If I ever released all my pent-up emotions, the hurricane force would be powerful enough to wipe out Central Asia. And the southern part of Russia.

Let's move on to some more mundane things. How about if I post a few boring photos that I took this afternoon?

There are still lots of butterflies around here and I enjoy harassing them with my El Cheapo digital camera.

Strange yellow weeds
(Okay, Anne Marie told me it is goldenrod)

 Trees in my back yard
with afternoon sun 

 Glimpse of the front yard

A very rare moment when my 10 year old cat Scratch is playing with my 1 1/2 year old cat Scruffy.
Scratch is showing off rolling on the floor and Scruffy is teasing her from the chair.


  1. Jon, the only thing I learned about burns was fresh Aloe sap really works to relieve pain. Most cooks in public kitchens keep a plant where a gardener could get to it --gardeners get a lot of burns off engine manifolds. When there was no kitchen, I found Agapanthus (Lily of the Nile) sap works just as well. Main thing is, get an aloe gel from the drugstore and recovery should be easier. Dry gauze will deter infection and irritation from clothing. Also, vigorous profanity will help with pain relief and blast the plaque off the backs of your teeth.

    1. Thanks for the tip, Geo. You are more helpful than Google. I remember seeing Aloe plants in California - - and I'm glad that the essence of Aloe can be captured in a bottle and sold at Walmart. The burn isn't too bad (I'll use the old cliche and say that it could have been worse).

      Dentists know about the benefits of vigorous profanity for cleaning plaque, but they keep it a highly guarded secret.

  2. the butterflies are pretty. sorry about your wrist.

    and the yellow weeds are goldenrod (heh heh heh, rod). ACHOO! we have that here and it bothers my allergies.

    1. I've heard about goldenrod my entire life but was unable to identify it because I'm just an innocent city boy. How embarrassing. (Rod, indeed).

      Strangely enough, my hay fever hasn't been bothering me much this season.

  3. Ouch sorry about your burn. The weeds and butterflies are very pretty and the kats are cute.

    1. Some of the weeds here are surprisingly colorful. The most butterflies I've ever seen were in San Angelo, TX. They would arrive by the thousands in the fall.

  4. Yikes! I'm so sorry to hear this. Dang, but Geo's advice about the vigorous profanity sounds better than Google.

    1. There's always something to ruin my dinner. If it isn't pesky fruit flies it's an unexpected burn. Profanity often lessens the intensity of pain.

    2. profanity lessens the pain of EVERYTHING in life.

  5. Grease? Grease? Jon, surely you jest. Get that George Forman grill out and grill sans grease. Not good for your arteries Jon. And what's this with no medical insurance? Like you, I don't like spending anytime in doctor's offices (although I seem to the past few years whereas for the first 35 years of my adult life I never went to a doctor), but you never know when you can have an accident like I did when I fell and tore my quadricep muscle in my left leg. The medical bills have already topped $20,000. I haven't had to pay a cent . . . . yet. Yes, my medical insurance is high (over $300 a month and that's WITH Medicare) but it's worth it. Something to think about Jon. And thank you for sharing photos of your beautiful landscape around your home. Always enjoy seeing those photos. You live in a beautiful part of the country.

    1. I very seldom cook with grease and this was actually grease with boiling water. Ron, I was initially well off in Texas. I had insurance, fantastic credit, and money in the bank. My parents had no insurance and there were many medical bills after they died. I couldn't sell my house for nearly five years and had to pay enormous property taxes. I also lost money due to an identity theft situation.
      In short, I was financially wiped out in Texas and never recovered. I'm presently existing in the poverty level. The many negative experiences that I had in Texas literally destroyed me and I'm extremely bitter. All I can do is plod on....and hope that I can eventually get back on my feet before I drop dead.
      Sorry for this inane ramble.

  6. Dammit! (I bet that wasn't among what you said.) I do hope that by now the pain has subsided enough to let you function near-normally.
    Can't help with any serious suggestions re the pain alleviation, though I should think that pussy-watching should help to take your mind of it, if only just for a bit. It works with me.
    Incidentally, when I was young (a VERY long time ago) we were told that one of the worst things to do with any sort of burn was to hold it under cold water - lukewarm water was the recommended immediate salve. But fashions change, even in first-aid.

    1. Ray, "Dammit" is included in my list of GOOD words. If I ever mentioned what's in my vile vocabulary it would send shock waves all the way to the moon (I have no idea exactly what that means.....).

      My arm is really red but thankfully the burn isn't severe. I'll probably survive. I've heard that ice shouldn't be put on burns, but I've done it in the past. This time I didn't have ice available so I just used cold water. I have no clue if it was beneficial.

      You're right about the kitty-kats. They always keep me so occupied that I hardly have time to think about the burn.

  7. People do seem to make a career out of doctor visits, don't they? While I do have medical insurance, I would have to be in pretty bad shape to actually use it. I have often thought that people seem to go downhill fast once they get a "diagnosis" and start "healing" their body via the use of prescription drugs.

    Not that I wouldn't mind the use of those drugs every once in a while.

    Sorry about your burn! I would have put toothpaste on it (although I hear that is frowned upon nowadays).

    Take care!


I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.