Tuesday, May 30, 2017


 I got this photo from the Internet, but it looks very similar to my garage

Remember the blog post entitled Lights Out in Hickville that I wrote over a week ago? Big storm. Power outage. 

Well, we had another storm - exactly the same - this past weekend. Only it was bigger, longer, and more annoying. And, of course, there was a power outage.

Today started out sunny - - which literally shocked my sun-starved senses - - but, in true Tennessee fashion, another huge thunderstorm rolled in this afternoon.
Dry days don't exist.

Lately, I've been desperately trying to clean up the garage - which is something I should have done when I first moved here, but it was in such appalling shape that I finally gave up.

There were over three hundred empty cardboard boxes piled up. No, I'm not exaggerating. I counted them. And I had absolutely no way to get rid of them.

When I lived in Texas I had a big pickup truck. I lived two miles from the dump. And the small town where I lived had a cardboard recycling center. Ditching boxes was easy.

Here in Hickville I only have a small Toyota. I live a zillion miles from town and have to haul my trash to the tiny town garbage place (I don't know what the hell they call it).
Bringing three hundred huge boxes would be somewhat of a slight challenge.

For two years I've been devising ways to destroy these boxes. 
I thought of burning them, but I don't have a burning permit. And since I have no pyromaniac tendencies, I'd probably fail miserably. Besides, it rains so much here that it would be completely impossible to keep a fire going. Or to even light one.

So, I scanned the Internet to see if I could discover some way of eliminating cardboard boxes.

The information I came up with was so infuriatingly lame that my blood pressure soared to comatose levels.
Who the hell writes these worthless jackass articles??

One woman wrote an article that encouraged us to use the boxes for our children to play in.
"You can build a fort out of the boxes", she suggested, "Which will give your children hours of pleasure."

Is she out of her frickin' mind????
If I had some firewood and a match (and a dry day) I would personally like to burn her at a stake.

Yea, lady. I'll build a fort to keep the Indians out.
Or are they Native Americans?

Another woman, in another online article, suggested to sell the cardboard boxes.

Yea, right. I'll put up a sign in the forest that says:
Three hundred damp, spider-infested, disassembled cardboard boxes for sale.

With the money I make I'll move to Monte Carlo.

Someone else said to "donate the boxes to a charity."

Great idea, Bucko. I'll donate them to the Hillbilly Debutante Society. Maybe they can use them for box lunches at an afternoon tea.

Completely at my wits end, I decided it was time to devise my own method of destruction. I did it the Old Fashioned Way.

Armed with work gloves and a generous supply of bug spray, I went in the garage and proceeded to tear up every one of the freaking three hundred boxes into small pieces and stuff the shreds into big trash bags.

It was a Demolition Marathon that took several weeks to complete. Tearing up heavy cardboard moving boxes is bad enough. Getting the packing tape off them is even worse.

I still have about twenty boxes to go, but I consider my efforts to be a major step toward progress.


  1. You must be pretty close to where we were in TN this weekend. The rain and wind were unbelievable, and the lightning was practically non-stop. The "show" was pretty amazing, but our friends were fortunate not to lose power or suffer any damage on their property, but not far from them, there were a number of trees down and lots of people are still without power.

    While we were there, I got bit by a Lone Star tick. Lucky me. I've never seen so darned many ticks, and some of them were so tiny, I almost DIDN'T see them. You don't exaggerate one little bit when it comes to Tennessee and its abundant bugs. (I saw the biggest fattest wasp I've ever seen in my entire life this weekend. It was kinda neat-looking, but I wasn't the least bit unhappy that it was dead.)

  2. Your chosen box-disposal method is the most logical, Jon. All I can think of is when I was young and moved into a high-crime neighborhood, my brother advised, "Any boxes you don't want, just gift-wrap and leave on the porch." But I doubt that would work in your beautiful and peaceful area.

  3. Cardboard is not easily torn or ripped. I'm glad you wore gloves. Will you be parking your car inside now? You hit on another one of my all time gripes: comments on articles asking for suggestions. Too many times I've been reading a review on a particular product I want to know more about and some idiot will write: "I haven't used this one yet." Bulletin at eleven. arghhhhhh

  4. If I lived close I could loan you a box cutter. Hope you saved some for you cats to play in. Funny post.

  5. I would have found a dry spot and burned them, maybe a few at the time. Way out where you're at they probably would not have noticed unless the woods caught on fire.

  6. Hey! That worked. They're all ready to go and you can haul them bag by bag to the dump in a small car. Brilliant!

    Say--will you be able to put the car in the garage after you get rid of all of these boxes? Whoohoo! That would be a plus, too. :)

  7. I did buy cardboard boxes off of Craigslist when I made my last move so people do buy them. I remember I got most of them from a military family that had recently moved to Anchorage. My sister had a moving company pack all her belongings when she moved here from California. The movers came back and collected the empty boxes. (I know all of this information is far too late to do you any good)

    I'm with Rita - will you be able to park your car in the garage so as not to risk your neck in the winter?

  8. 300 plus? Seriously stunned over here.
    At best, I'm a reluctant recycler; so imagine my surprise when a co-worker nominated me for Big Corporation's 'Caught Green-Handed' program because I break down boxes at work. Don't tell anyone, but it's great stress relief.

    PS - So glad you wore work gloves. I missed seeing that the first read, and worried about your fingers.

  9. Your back must be on the mend. I hope you were wearing gloves and perhaps a mask. Who knows what kind of mold and 'stuffs' live in old damp cardboard.

    On the upside, it's done. Yay!

  10. You tackled the job the good old fashioned way and did it. Good for you.


I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.