My poetry and piano videos are consistently my most unpopular posts. I admittedly inflict them upon you to show off - - and to confirm the fact that I'm not just another pretty face.
Should I insert a sarcastic *smile* here?
Depressing poetry is better than agonizing descriptions of my pathetic life. My problems multiply every day. Just when I think things couldn't get worse, they inevitably do.
Here's a (small) sample of my grim reality:
I never found my gold and amethyst antique Italian ring. I did the most completely thorough search possible and came up empty. It vanished into thin air and I'm baffled.
Perhaps the Ring Fairies took it.....
or outer space aliens transported it to Roswell.
After a long agonizing week I'm still without heat and hot water. During the coldest time of the year.
To compound the situation, my back is so bad that I can hardly crawl out of bed - - and my left knee is swollen (again) and I can't bend my leg.
My attempt to fix the water heater the other day turned into a fiasco.
For some inexplicable reason, the water heater is situated in a small, windowless alcove adjacent to a dark, narrow closet. A wooden panel has to be removed before the water heater can be accessed.
Water heater behind wooden panel -
illuminated by camera flash
It is completely PITCH BLACK in there and loaded with cobwebs. Due to my painful back and stiff left leg, I had to crawl through the closet - dragging my bad leg and holding a flashlight.
When I got to the mysterious wooden panel I encountered a spider that was bigger than a Frisbee.
I wish you could have seen how fast I crawled out of there in reverse.
Next time I ventured in I had a flashlight, gloves, bug spray, and various tools.
Working on the water heater in complete darkness with a bad back, stiff leg, and prospect of Mega Spiders isn't easy.
I occasionally had to hold the flashlight in my mouth in order to work with two hands (no, I'm not kidding).
Sometimes a big mouth comes in handy.
Unfortunately, I didn't fix the water heater. Yet. And I didn't dare tackle the furnace. Yet.
I'll have to force myself to look at it soon, because this is absolutely the COLDEST house I ever lived in.
Heck, I don't need a furnace.....I need an exorcist.
I have two small heaters that do a reasonably good job of heating the bedroom, but I wanted to get another one for reassurance.
So I made the excruciatingly long drive into town and bought a heater at Walmart (last week).
Got it home. Plugged it in. Turned it on.
It was completely dead. Didn't work at all.
I reread the directions multiple times to make sure I was doing everything correctly:
"Plug it in. Turn it on".
In fifteen languages.
I'll return it to Walmart next time I go to town. If I don't freeze to death first.
Meanwhile, Bosco and Scratch are huddled in the bedroom by the heater, hoping for spring.
And so am I.
Bosco was so sick last week I thought I'd have to take him to the vet. He had a wicked respiratory virus - and for some strange reason one of his hind paws swelled up and he was lame (I think it was strained).
I gave him mega TLC, including vaporizers and a heating pad. He improved rapidly and is now eating heartily and walking on all fours.
Which is more than I can say for myself.
This post is far too long and boring, but I'll risk sharing it with you anyway.