New concept:
For the next few days (or perhaps weeks) my blog is going to be blissfully comment-free. It will release me from bondage and give me a chance to say exactly what's on my mind, without experiencing guilt-ridden ramifications.
Those who stay with me and survive the toxicity of my rambles can rest assured that I will reinstate the comment mode soon........or soon enough.
I've been blogging longer than I care to remember - - probably around fifteen years. In truth, I can't even recall the names of my earliest blogs. I'm not fond of the title Lone Wolf Concerto, but I chose it because it is similar to Lone Star Concerto - which was the blog I had in Texas.
Basically, I am a reasonable facsimile of a lone wolf.
Writing, for me, has always been a pleasurable and necessary emotional outlet. Presenting one's thoughts in a public forum, however, is often risky and very often restrictive.
I frequently find myself modifying my opinions for fear of offending my readers. Yet, even with modifications, nothing is offense-free.
Jon, just keep away from politics, religion, the environment, humanitarian issues, family matters, personal problems, sexuality, current news events, philosophy, anything racial or radical, and Schoenberg's views on atonality and you'll be fine.
Thanks, Kemo Sabe. That's exactly what I thought.
Believe it or not, I used to be much more opinionated and "offensive" in my old blogs than I am now.
It is never my intention to purposefully offend (well, not much anyway). In my opinion, however, the most grievous offense is when I'm not being true to myself.
Some of the posts in my older blogs had ignited outrage and inspired many extremely caustic comments.
Consequently, I found myself constantly apologizing for my opinions and frequently forgiving the people who attacked me. I began walking on proverbial eggshells in order to appease and please.
I'm certain that his unholy apologetic affliction stemmed directly from my childhood. My ruthlessly violent and abusive father destroyed my self esteem so thoroughly that I actually felt guilty for my existence and I seemed to apologize for being alive.
In essence, I apologized my way through life.....and it instinctively infiltrated my blog.
The apologist, however, very often treks down a one way street. It took me awhile to realize that NOBODY had ever apologized for trashing me. Never. They didn't give a rat's ass about the insults they hurled and had absolutely no regrets.
Why the hell should I carry guilt for someone else's shit?
I can honestly say that I have never left rude, caustic, or condescending comments on any blog. If I don't like what the writer says, I either ignore it...or quietly move on.
Some people get their jollies from clinging to blogs that they loathe - deriving sadistic pleasure from being rude and caustic.
Most often, these people never leave comments unless they disagree with something. That's when they crawl out of the woodwork and let their obnoxious presence be known. There's nothing wrong with that, really - except that it makes them look small and petty.....and it annoys me.
Why only comment when you want to be sarcastic and bitchy? Don't they ever have anything positive to say?
Unfortunately, instead of simply deleting a comment, I often lash out at my attackers. It's my defensive nature.
This definitely irritates a lot of my readers. I always wind up looking like the bad guy for defending myself, and inevitably feel guilty for not apologizing.
I have recently been gently chastised by several well-meaning people for being unfairly rude to a certain person who enjoys leaving condescending comments on my blog.
The defenders of this person have tried to impress me (or, more likely, shame me) by listing his past credits: he saved lives overseas in the medical corps, etc. etc.
That's extremely admirable and I truly respect his accomplishments, but it doesn't excuse him for being rude.
I certainly deserve an insult now and then. Hit me with a pie and I won't flinch.
BUT
continual insults over an entire year are not likely to win my respect.
The very first comment this person ever left on my blog was cutting and condescending, and the harsh attitude towards me has never softened.
Does that make ME the bad guy? I sure as hell never encouraged his rudeness.
The other day, when I politely responded to his latest sarcastic insult, he scoffed at my initial "stupidity" and gleefully gloated "Well, you finally fucking got it!"
Apologies are indeed a one way street, and I've been wandering on it for too long. I intend to make a detour and never look back. This is my final post on the subject.
And I will apologize for nothing.
