I think we're all familiar with the biscuits - - those supermarket biscuits that come in a canister-like container. You pop open the can, pop them in the oven, and they're ready in minutes.
Problem is - it's not exactly easy to pop open the canister. It takes a certain amount of skill, calculation, patience........and luck.
My Mom used to make these when I was a kid. I remember her forcefully and valiantly bashing the can against the edge of the kitchen counter until - after several attempts - it finally cracked open.
These biscuits aren't exactly a gourmet delight, but they're cheap and easy to make (provided that you can open the can).
I like to eat them warm from the oven with butter and blackberry jam. Or strawberry jam. Or whatever.
The other week I stocked up on the biscuits during my shopping expedition to town. A few days later I was nearly shocked into oblivion when I opened the refrigerator.
One canister of biscuits had exploded - and I mean completely EXPLODED. There were raw biscuits strewn all over the fridge. I'd never seen anything like it. The biscuits weren't outdated and the refrigerator was working normally.
Why the heck did they blow up?
Please stay with me. There's more.
Yesterday I decided to make a batch of biscuits. When I opened the fridge, I discovered that another can was partially opened - but fortunately the biscuits didn't fly out.
So, I threw the opened can away and retrieved another can.
As I was leaning over the can and desperately trying strategic moves to get it opened -
IT SUDDENLY EXPLODED IN MY FACE!!
I'm not exaggerating. The entire can literally blew up and raw biscuits flew in my face, on the countertop, and on the floor!
Fortunately I was wearing glasses rather than my usual contact lenses. The glasses served to protect my eyes.
After I said a few things that would make Satan blush, I cleaned up the kitchen.
Then I carefully retrieved another can of biscuits and very very cautiously opened it - with success this time.
I don't scare easily, but these mysteriously exploding biscuits admittedly have me unnerved. Against my better judgement, I still plan on buying them.
Perhaps I should store them in an explosive-proof container - - and wear a helmet and safety goggles when opening them.
They are under a lot of pressure in there, but shouldn't explode like that. I've always been a bit scared of them though. I think they're delicious!
ReplyDeleteI never knew they were under pressure in those cans and I never heard of them exploding. But I'll continue to buy them because they are good - although I'm apprehensive.....
DeleteThose biscuits have to be kept really cold . I put mine on Ice .
DeleteI laughed out loud at the expression "I said a few things that would make Satan blush". I've never heard that before. It is a good thing you had on glasses instead of contacts. I have had those biscuit rolls explode in the refrigerator before, but that was probably because they were in there for months on end. I only crave biscuits once in a while. I bet that roll of biscuits would have really risen and been fluffy if you had been able to bake them. Or maybe they would have been like when Lucy baked the loaf of bread that kept getting bigger and bigger as it pushed the oven door open and came out into her kitchen.
ReplyDeleteBefore my Fuzzy Pomeranian became deaf he came running to watch me open those biscuit rolls. He loved to hear them pop. Sometimes he would step back a little when I would start cussing them when I couldn't get the paper peeled off to open the roll, but he was always excited waiting for me to get that roll to pop open, he would spin in circles the entire time. He loved that loud pop. He still loves the biscuit show when I open a roll of them up. He watches and waits, and sees me jump when it pops, and even though he can't hear the sound anymore, he still seems to think it is a good show, and spins in appreciation.Almost 17 years old and on most days he can still do the Pomeranian spin. If one of those rolls ever exploded and sent dough all over the place, I know he would manage to eat some of that raw dough before I could stop him.
I laughed when you mentioned Lucy baking the bread - - I remember that episode. I'm rather relieved to hear that you've had exploding biscuits in the refrigerator, too. I thought I was the only one!
DeleteIt's amazing that your adorable doggie is fascinated with the biscuits - but it's so sad that he can no longer hear the can pop open.
(I made the Satan blushing thing up myself...lol)
That is crazy! I always peel the paper away and then insert a butter knife into the seam, but the popping sound still startles me! I can’t imagine why they’d blow up like that, but it might be worth an e-mail to the manufacturer.
ReplyDeleteI never heard of inserting a butter knife into the seam but I'll try it next time. I'm wondering if the manufacturer received any other complaints about exploding biscuits.....?
DeleteI'm trying to figure out the Bio-chemistry phenomenon. Was the sugar to yeast ration skewed? I have been working on Home brewed Root beer and if I wait a little too long, the bottles will explode before getting them into the fridge. Cheryl suggests the "spoon on the seam" technique for the "unexplody" ones. (I imagine exploding ones at least solve the opening issue.) But mostly, she wonders... Just How many Cans of Biscuits did he Buy? ( I can only imagine, with a pandemic, remote rural area of operation, and a WAL_MART as your only shopping opportunity, you stockpiled enough to last through the winter... Am I wrong?
ReplyDeleteI only had eight cans of biscuits and three of them exploded. I usually go grocery shopping about twice a month, so I didn't want to buy too many at once (thank goodness...). Next time I'll try opening the seam with a butter knife or spoon.
DeleteWhen I was a kid in California, one of our neighbors made homemade beer. He had twenty-four bottles and they ALL exploded - and ruined his ceiling. I'll never forget that...
OMG! That is really, really weird!!
ReplyDeleteIt was extremely weird, Rita - I never dreamed that those innocent-looking cans could explode!
DeleteYes! The anticipation, the delicious fright. Reminds me how I used to feel turning the knobs on my toy box, waiting for the Jack in the Box to jump out.
ReplyDeleteI think an email to the store and/or manufacture is definitely in order. Perhaps they'll send you free coupons?
PS - Do you remember the woman whose biscuits exploded while she was in her car, who believed she's been shot? Not sure if this actually happened, but I'm laughing all over again. Here's a link to the news story:
https://stuffhappens.us/paramedics-called-to-help-woman-14289/
My God, Myra - I just read the news story and it's beyond bizarre!! Wow!! (by the way, I used to shop at HEB when I lived in TX).
DeleteI thought about contacting the biscuit company but don't know if it's worth the trouble. But another exploding can might inspire me to do it....
Jon, if you have freezer space, the individual frozen biscuits are pretty good (better than I can make). You can just take out and bake enough for a meal and have fresh ones each time. This would solve the random explosions of canned biscuits.
ReplyDeleteFrozen biscuits sound like a good idea, but unfortunately my freezer space here in the Tennessee boonies is sorely limited (although I could try to squeeze them in).
DeleteWhen I lived in TX I had a huge kitchen with two refrigerators...and I miss it!
wow what an ordeal. in the olden days i used these kind of biscuits regularly, now not so much. your description of opening them is spot on. but the fact they began exploding one at a time in your fridge is actually quite horrifying. the pressure released could do serious damage to your extremities. glad you lived to tell the tale. and enjoy a delicious biscuit or two. yum. yum. the jam seals the deal.
ReplyDeleteIt was unnerving when two cans exploded in the refrigerator, but I was really shocked when one blew up in my face. I never realized that they could be so dangerous!
DeleteDespite the dangers, I'll foolishly admit that I'm still going to buy them.....after all, who can resist the butter and jam??
BTW - I recently haven't been able to leave comments on your blog. It has something to do with a glitch on my computer which I'm trying to fix.
Aside from your canned biscuits being related to a magic eight ball you once owned, it is true canned biscuits have "live" yeast in them that can turn to sugar, which can then turn to gas and if too much pressure has built up - explode. But 3 cans in a row? What are the odds? Maybe, you should suit up in protective gear to battle the living things in your refrigerator Jon! Okay..okay..it was a funny story though! Glad you are safe. As usual I get the notice that you have written a post exactly one day later. 🧡 🎃 🖤
ReplyDeleteOut of the two evils, I'd rather deal with the exploding biscuits than the magic 8 ball! I never realized there was a scientific reason for the biscuits to explode. I merely thought it was innocent dough in a can...
DeleteIn the future I'll wear a helmet and goggles....and be prepared for battle...
Oh my goodness, I chuckled at your story, but I do know what a mess it makes. I opened my frig one day and wondered what the heck was all over it, and I too had a can of biscuits explode in there. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteIt's reassuring to know that others have experienced this problem. I thought I was the only one!
DeleteGlad I gave you some chuckles.
Dear Jon, Great post! I remember my 1st encounter with Bisquick back in the'60s during the "Cold War". My brother and I decided their biscuit delivery-and-detonation system was designed by the Military Industrial Complex.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a secret, sinister plot devised by the government, Geo - but I haven't yet discovered the reason....
DeleteThank you for making me laugh today! That was great. I have one exploding biscuit incident and it nearly made hubby's heart stop. He thought I was shooting someone in the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteI'm always glad when I'm able to make someone laugh - and I'm genuinely surprised to hear that numerous other people have experienced exploding biscuit cans.
DeleteThanks for your comment!
Sorry, Jon, but reading your account of the exploding biscuit cans did give me a laugh. And, now I am thinking that we should use that can of cinnamon biscuits that has been in the fridge for well over a year! We haven’t bought canned biscuits in That long, not because we didn’t enjoy them, but did so TOO much. None ever exploded in the fridge, thankfully, but were always so difficult to open even when not expired yet. Glad to read your later post, that you were able to enjoy a can opened normally...if it can be called that😀
ReplyDeleteAfter all the can explosions I've recently experienced, I'm very apprehensive about approaching the biscuits. Be very careful when tackling those cinnamon biscuits. Trying to open the cans has always been a challenge. All I can say is handle with extreme care and caution!
DeleteLaughing so hard! You are a great writer
ReplyDeleteI'm always delighted when I'm able to make people laugh. Thanks!
DeleteI had no idea they could explode like that.
ReplyDelete