While my weary soul is still resonating with fragmented thoughts about Valentine's Day, I'll offer a few disjointed (and trivial) observations about love.
My favorite quote about love?
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-Oscar Wilde (who else?)
Perhaps one of the most apt sentiments is Goethe's observation that true love isn't domination - - it's cultivation.
What are my personal thoughts on the subject?
Never believe anyone who says "I love you" while they're having an orgasm.
Don't be offended. That's merely experience talking.
I'm a staunch believer in love, but true love is extremely rare. Infatuation and lust are most often mistaken for love. I've been infatuated (and in lust) hundreds of times.
I've experienced true love only a few times. And, unfortunately, I've rejected the possibility of true love more times than I'd care to remember.
I've always had an intense fear of commitment - which thwarted some golden opportunities. Perhaps I had a subconscious fear of attaining happiness and/or fulfillment..... Who knows? Let Freud figure it out.
Ironically - the only person with whom I was totally committed and would have spent the rest of my life with is now dead. Tragically, a death much too soon.
Personal lesson learned:
Never try to replace a lost love. Especially hastily. Your efforts will yield disaster. Do I ever have stories to tell on that subject....
Despite my exterior indifference, I am extremely romantically inclined - - sensitive and sentimental to an annoying fault.
Candlelight, the scent of midnight gardenias, moonlit walks, secret whispers in the cradling shadows before dawn, the redeeming purity of a sunrise.
My definition:
Love is a spiritual sensation that ignites the heart, nourishes the soul, elevates the senses beyond mere physical realms. It is the poetry of life.
As an accursed aesthete, I find the undiluted purity of love in music, literature, art - where it is manifested in countless variations:
In Wagner's mythological operatic masterpiece Die Walkure - the great god Wotan vows to severely punish his daughter Brunnhilde for disobedience, but wrath is softened by his unabiding paternal love for her - which is superbly expressed as he sings the tender, passionate, heartwrenching final scene....
.....in Adolphe Adam's 1841 ballet Giselle.
Giselle dies of a broken heart because of her errant lover Albrecht.
She returns to earth in the spirit of one of the vengeful Wilis - - disgruntled women who were deceived by their earthly lovers. They get revenge by materializing, seductively luring the men, and dancing them to death.
Giselle has a change of heart when she encounters Albrecht. She forgives him with a blessed embrace and returns peacefully to her grave.
Love conquers all. Or so it seems.
Margo Fonteyn and Rudolph Nureyev
in their electrifying 1962 performance of Giselle
Forgiveness. Forgiveness is an essential component of love.
Movies, anyone?
When it comes to love, I prefer the romantic classics. If forced to choose from multitudes, my favorite is the 1939 classic tear-jerker Wuthering Heights.
Laurence Olivier and Merle Oberon
Another one of my favorite love-themed films is the little-known but superb 1959 Russian movie Ballad of a Soldier.
Zhanna Prokhorenko and Vladimir Ivashov
in Ballad of a Soldier
(it's available with English subtitles on dailymotion.com)
Novels?
The subject of love in novels is, of course, maddeningly endless. One of my favorites, which explores many aspects of the all-encompassing subject of love, is A Prologue to Love, the 1961 novel by Taylor Caldwell.
I first read the 600+ page book when I was thirteen and was completely blown away. It still remains one of my all-time favorites.
(I wrote a letter to Taylor Caldwell back then and still have her kind reply).
(I wrote a letter to Taylor Caldwell back then and still have her kind reply).
Signing off, with love.
I didn't respond to your comments this time but I greatly appreciated all of them!
"We must love one another or die." - Auden
ReplyDeleteDylan, I wholeheartedly second your endorsement of Auden --and applaud your salvaging Dickinson from guttation. Love is a force of timeless nature, which is the language of the universe.
DeleteGeo, it did my heart good to find your very kind reply to my comment. And I'm glad you understood the Dickinson poem on my own blog: It was based on a true story.
DeleteI fell in love with Taylor Caldwell and read all her books when I was younger. I loved that you could read them on more than one level. I wonder if I would feel the same about them now as an old lady? :)
ReplyDeleteI've spent more time reading your side bar then your love hype. I really do like the way you've done your side bar, bet that took some time.
ReplyDeleteYour personal definition of love is very... romantic. It's pretty accurate, too, at least for the initial throes of love. After nearly forty-nine years of marriage and multiple years of dating before that, love for me is kindness and gentle consideration, often demonstrated by caring more for the other's needs and preferences than for one's own. i.e. It's smearing ointment on my husband's shoulder every night, even though it smells like crap and makes my hand tingle. And putting lotion on his jungle-rotted feet every night for many years. (MAN! Talk about STINK...!)
ReplyDeleteI also love Taylor Caldwell and read everything I could get my hands on back in the '70s. I belong to several discount e-book sites and have bought several of her books on the cheap. I remember reading Captain and the Kings when on a trip to Hawaii. It was the best thing about that vacation. (I discovered I am not enamored with the tropics) I still have her beat-up paperbacks in spite of trying to downsize my book collection.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your definition of love but feel it is more towards the initial attraction. The elevated senses become dulled over time. I don't think I'm much of a romantic nowadays.
I'm feeling rather like a rube, having not read or seen these works.
ReplyDeleteI wholeheartedly concur about attempting to replace a lost love too soon. The "Be careful what you ask for" bandwagon's sideswiped me on more than one occasion.
What stands out this evening (for me) is your phrase, "the redeeming purity of a sunrise." Perfect.
Jon, I just watched Ballad of a Soldier in magnificent black and white: Such a beautiful film! A true work of art. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction :-)
ReplyDeleteExcellent and encouraging post, Jon. I don't know if it's the season or coincidence, but both Wife and Daughter are currently re-reading the Brontes. When we didn't have much money 40 years ago, two of my sons and I worked all day building and painting sets for a Capital Ballet production of Giselle. We were THAT determined --from dreary warehouse to glittering stage, then to bright memory. Worth every moment.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time visit at here and i am really pleassant to read all at one place.
ReplyDelete