REMEMBER

It wasn't until yesterday morning - when I heard on the news it was Prince Charles' birthday - that I remembered it was also my mother's birthday. 

Somehow, things that were once important can get lost in the present cumbersome clutter of our daily lives.

I've written about my Mom many previous times on this blog - to the point where some may find it tedious - but I wanted to mention her again.  She passed away in December, 2009, and during the following years I've purposely tried to block out many memories - simply because it's the only way I was able to move on.

The distance of time has a way of  filtering our memories - expunging the negative and enhancing the positive - until an idealistic illusion replaces truth.

I can honestly say, without exaggeration, that my mother was an extraordinary woman: highly intelligent,  humble, compassionate, forgiving, honest to a fault. She was one of my closest confidants and -without any doubt - she was my anchor in a sea of chaos.

We shared many of the same interests. Mom was a brilliant pianist (and my first piano teacher). She was a voracious reader and loved literature, history, art, theater, ballet, opera.

Her only drawback (and one that we also both shared) was a complete lack of confidence and self esteem. She managed to hide this flaw admirably.

My memories of my mother are always tainted with an unbearable sadness knowing how much she suffered physical and emotional abuse from my violent father. During an era when that subject was largely suppressed, she bravely endured and suffered silently - always outwardly managing to project a normal and  beautiful image.

I might (reluctantly) add that, as I grew out of adolescence, I wasn't always the perfect son. I was battling an enormous amount of my own personal demons, and was largely intent on self-destruction.
The psychological wounds that my mother and I had endured from a lifetime of chaos left devastating effects.

After my father died in 2005, I took care of my Mom until her death in 2009. Those were our most peaceful years, during which we had time to rationally discuss many things.

I'm very thankful for that time we had together. 

Mom and I in later years.

This is one of my favorite photos, which was taken by my father. It had been raining and, just before he took the picture, a ray of sunshine came out.