I'm very reluctant to taint this blog with my innumerable personable problems - -
so I'll offer a sanitized version, the Disney version - instead of the raging realms of the depths of hell.
The weather has finally warmed up, but torrential rain and nail-biting storms are nearly an every-day occurrence. Yesterday I thought the house was going to crumble and blow away - - which in retrospect isn't a bad idea.
I won't elaborate on my monumental health issues - which are genuinely scaring the living jeeters out of me. Things are presently so intolerably bad that I've (temporarily??) given up driving (heck, I can hardly walk due to my spinal injury issues).
I ordered a lot of food, which will be delivered on Wednesday. It can't come soon enough, because presently I'm nearly starving.
But that's beside the proverbial point.
Beards?
Am I going to talk about beards???
Please be patient. There's always a method to my madness.
First of all, let me say that I dislike beards intensely. They're generally creepy, unsanitary, and definitely not my style.
A few men look good with beards - but they're the semi-macho GQ cover-boy type, whose beards are meticulously maintained by Beverly Hills gardeners.
You heard me right.
Gardeners. Not barbers.
In my humble and biased opinion, the only men who can safely wear beards are Abe Lincoln, Santa Claus, and the Smith Brothers.
If you don't know who the Smith Brothers are, you're too young to be reading this blog.
Hell, it's only me and the cat here alone. No one gives a flying fig what I look like.
I didn't shave in weeks (or perhaps months).
When I finally took a rare look in the mirror I was horrified to see that I had a beard!!!!
First time in my entire life - - -
and definitely the last time.
I didn't look human. I looked like a left-over spawn from Chernobyl.
That has to be weird. Weirder than me looking at long, thin hair that hasn't been cut since last fall maybe. Leah was over today and cut my hair for me. Now I look more like myself in the mirror, too--lol! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you got your hair cut and I shaved my beard. It's wonderful to feel "normal" again!
DeleteTo be frank, I am tired of looking at men with beards and facial hair. Give me the clean shaven type any day. Everyone and his brother has a beard, we are surrounded by Neanderthal types.
ReplyDeleteSorry that you are still dealing with health problems, I hope kinder days are ahead.
~Jo
Very few men look good with a beard. The vast majority look creepy. Hopefully clean-shaven days will prevail.
DeleteHi Jon.. sorry I've been MIA. Since the tornado hit 1/4 mile from my house on March 31st my internet has a mind of it's own, and it has been mindless!! I've been trying to read your blogs but have been unable to comment. I'm with you... I do not like beards! To me they look unsanitary, no matter how clean the person tries to be. Anyway, just our opinion right?!? Hot weather is settling in here in West Tennessee. It's coming your way I'm sure. Please take care of yourself. Signed..one of your "four readers"!! Your Tennessee neighbor, Louise
ReplyDeleteTornados are absolutely terrifying. I survived several of them when I lived in the Missouri Ozarks. I'm thankful that you are safe. I'm nestled in a forest surrounded by hills - which offers some protection from tornados - - but they can occur anywhere.
DeleteI felt horrible and completely out of place when I had a beard. I'm glad that it's gone!
I have a moustache and short, neatly trimmed goatee. I find 'full beards' creepy and unsanitary. Sorry to hear of your spinal issues. I can commiserate. I have chronic, low back pain. Physical therapy made it worse. At this age, the wheels are flying off! You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. At least the sun is shining, and the temps are warming up in this part of Ohio. I'll try and look for the positive. I said....'try'. Some days that's a challenge!
ReplyDeleteParanormal John
I was hesitant to post this because I didn't want to offend men who have beards. I admittedly have a mustache.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear about your back problems. Physical therapy often does more harm than good. I've had several serious spinal injuries that never healed properly, and they have become devastating in recent years. I'm losing my ability to walk and my coordination. It's terrifying but I'm trying to "survive".
I, too, prefer a clean-shaven face .... but still, I'm a wee bit disappointed you didn't share a selfie. Beards seem to be all the rage lately; then again, so are Man Buns. Eeeeeu!
ReplyDeleteI took a few photos of myself with the beard, but they were horrifying. I looked like I was in my mid-100s. Perhaps a photo of my buns would be better........???(*smile*).
DeleteI admit I'm disappointed that beards are cool again.they creep me out a bit too.
ReplyDeleteWell, as someone who's had a trimmed beard for 55 years, now I know what a segment of the population thinks about me. Now I know why people shy away from me in stores, women cover their children's eyes when I draw near... joking, of course.
ReplyDeleteLol. To each his own, right Jon?
Regarding medical problems, if you'd like a second opinion, I'm retired but still am kind of current. Feel free to let me know if you'd like a contact email or number.
Cheers,
Mike.
After having a beard for 55 years, you'd undoubtedly feel naked without it. I'm sure you look dignified.
DeleteThank you for thinking of me. I'll keep your offer in mind.
I very much agree. I have never been attracted to men with beards. I do not like the feel and beards are very unsanitary for sure!
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely not the beard "type". It made me look fifty years older than I am!
DeleteHi Jon, this is Beatrice (not anonymous) but commenting in my tablet doesn’t allow for personal ID😕.Grenville is now clean shaven after various times of sporting a beard, which I admittedly did not like, but it was his face, so his choice. When he shaved it off the last time, he was told by others that it made him look younger. Apparently, that’s all it took and he has not grown a beard since and that was over 4 years ago (yeah)😀. As you can tell, I was not a fan of his beard, but some men do look actually better. Again, it is a personal choice as was your own.
ReplyDeleteSome men can successfully wear a beard and look fairly decent. I looked absolutely horrible with a beard and it aged me immensely. Never again!
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