Not in the mood to expound today. Autumn is here, but it will pass too quickly like all good things.
I was cautiously optimistic last week, with five days of radiation therapy. It was really wonderful to get out of physical therapy prison and actually see the real world every day of the week.
On Friday (yesterday) we left very early, before dawn. The driver had to pick up Martha, the nurse. Then we had to bring a very elderly woman with us to Cookeville. She was in her 90s.
With my myopic eyes (still don't have any glasses) I watched the sunrise out the window. Always a great soothing treasure to behold.
Cookeville Medical Center was extremely busy Friday. After radiation, had to wait a very long time to see a doctor. My oncologist wasn't there so I saw another doctor. He sais if the bleeding doesn't stop, we can call and they will arrange more radiation.
Very early this morning (here back at Signature) while two nurses were doing my routine wound care, the bleeding started again. My minimal optimism vanished.
Did the radiation fail to work........or does it take a few more days? This is ruining my initial plans.
I can't keep waiting around for a miracle.
I can't go home with a hemorrhaging arm. I can't spend the rest of my life getting radiation.
I curse the ##@**##@* FOOL who botched my biopsy last April. If she didn't hit an artery I wouldn't be in this helluva mess. I've suffered enough.
Let's change the subject.
Instead of bombarding you with my seemingly endless AI (artificial intelligence) images, I'll plague you with my real genuine photos. You've probably seem most of them.......but don't complain. They're worth seeing again.
I bought this place in October, 2014 - - eleven years ago. My objective was to live in a rural area, with privacy and peace. Rural living has complications and assorted unexpected compromises - - but I have no regrets.
The previous owners were the King family, whose ancestors lived around here for untold generations. This is known as King Mountain.
Two acres at the edge of the forest. In fact, the forest begins only about a few yards from my bedroom.
These photos were taken on my property last year and the year before. And I'm not going to be coy.
I'm glad the place is mine.
The top photo is one of my favorites. The colors are beautiful.
The narrow road winding past my property.
A brief glimpse of the gravel driveway leading into the place.
My car by the garage. I no longer drive now - - with no regrets.
A haphazard glimpse of the cow/cattle pasture, at the edge of my property.
My neighbors and the extended pasture, photos taken several years ago.
The side of my tiny humble home.
Trees, a few feet from my bedroom.
Tree in back "yard"
Front porch
Front "yard"
Back yard woods
Morning fog
Sunset over front yard
Jon ❤️ home is where the heart is....
only a few glimpses
One more thought -
I'm going to be brutally honest. I already established the fact that I'm going to bleed to death....and never see my home again.
I am cursed. To hell with prayers. J.
My heart dropped when I read about the new bleeding episode. So frustrating, but as you said, radiation can take time to reach its full effect. Your property is beautiful…worth fighting for. Hang in there, Jon.
ReplyDeleteThank you....hanging on sometimes can be more and more difficult.....
DeleteHome sweet home, those Autumn colors tug at my heartstrings. Such a beautiful and serene place to spend your days, I hope it's not too much longer dear friend.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Jo
I'm just about giving up, Jo - but I'll keep trying.
DeleteIs Autumn your favorite season?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI already misspelled four words. To hell with my reply. I'm not in a humorous mood.....
ReplyDeleteI hope fervently the radiation takes. And that you get home again soon. Fervently.
ReplyDeleteI honestly have completely lost hope. I thought the radiation would help, but.....
Delete11 years? Wow. Regardless what else is going on, you're so blessed to call those 2 acres "yours"! Not much longer I hope!
ReplyDeleteI seem to have lost some of those eleven years with my cursed health problems. I never dreamed this would happen.....
DeleteIf you truly believe that recovery isn't possible, I suggest checking out of that hellhole and going home. Better to die in a place you love surrounded by beautiful things than lying in misery in a hospital bed. Still hoping for a miracle for you, though.
ReplyDeleteThere must be SOME way to stop the bleeding - - we're not in Medieval times. I haven't completely given up.......?
DeleteGive the radiation some more time. Very possibly a few more treatments will give the desired results. How many acres are there to your property, Jon? Just beautiful. Is someone mowing your lawn? Checking on the house? I truly hope you can get home soon. Paranormal John
ReplyDeleteI accidentally deleted my reply, thanks to Comment Moderation.
DeleteThey said you can call back and get more radiation treatments if it doesn't stop bleeding. Call back! They will fix it!
ReplyDeleteJon, have you considered legal action against whoever botched your biopsy last April. You said that If she didn't hit an artery, you would not be in your current situation. Yes, you have suffered enough and maybe there is some sort of legal aid you can out instead of the medical folks you are getting nowhere with. It might be worth a try.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have thought about taking legal action considering the nurse practitioner who did the biopsy - - but it would be far too much trouble. I am completely mentally and physically drained and don't want to go through any more crap.
Delete(there is a ♥️ in the trees...)
ReplyDeleteLisa
salemslot9 journal