THE THRESHOLD OF AUTUMN

 

Note

I wrote this post on Saturday, two days ago, and removed it solely because I was in an extremely rotten mood. I decided to post it again today (Monday). Comments are disabled for this post today, because I accidentally deleted your previous comments on Saturday while I was messing around with the settings on Comment Moderation.

I will write an update on my hemorrhaging arm after I talk to my wound care doctor when she comes tomorrow.     Jon

Not in the mood to expound today. Autumn is here, but it will pass too quickly like all good things.

I was cautiously optimistic last week, with five days of radiation therapy. It was really wonderful to get out of physical therapy prison and actually see the real world every day of the week.

On Friday (yesterday) we left very early, before dawn. The driver had to pick up Martha, the nurse. Then we had to bring a very elderly woman with us to Cookeville. She was in her 90s.

With my myopic eyes (still don't have any glasses) I watched the sunrise out the window. Always a great soothing treasure to behold.

Cookeville Medical Center was extremely busy Friday. After radiation, had to wait a very long time to see a doctor. My oncologist wasn't there so I saw another doctor. He said if the bleeding doesn't stop, we can call and they will arrange more radiation.

Very early this morning (here back at Signature) while two nurses were doing my routine wound care, the bleeding started again. My minimal optimism vanished.

Did the radiation fail to work........or does it take a few more days? This is ruining my initial plans. 

I can't keep waiting around for a miracle.

I can't go home with a hemorrhaging arm. I can't spend the rest of my life getting radiation.

I curse the ##@**##@* FOOL who botched my biopsy last April. If she didn't hit an artery I wouldn't be in this helluva mess. I've suffered enough.

Let's change the subject.

Instead of bombarding you with my seemingly endless AI (artificial intelligence) images, I'll plague you with my real genuine photos. You've probably seen most of them.......but don't complain. They're worth seeing again.

I bought this place in October, 2014 - - eleven years ago. My objective was to live in a rural area, with privacy and peace.  Rural living has complications and assorted unexpected compromises - - but I have no regrets.

The previous owners were the King family, whose ancestors lived around here for untold generations. This is known as King Mountain. 

Two acres at the edge of the forest. In fact, the forest begins only about a few yards from my bedroom.

These photos were taken on my property last year and the year before. And I'm not going to be coy.

I'm glad the place is mine.

The top photo is one of my favorites. The colors are beautiful.

The narrow road winding past my property.

A brief glimpse of the gravel driveway leading into the place.

My car by the garage. I no longer drive now - - with no regrets.

A haphazard glimpse of the cow/cattle pasture, at the edge of my property.

My neighbors and the extended pasture, photos taken several years ago.

The side of my tiny humble home.

Trees, a few feet from my bedroom.

Tree in back "yard"

Front porch

Front "yard"

Back yard woods

Morning fog

Sunset over front yard

Jon ❤️ home is where the heart is....

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH....

 So, what's happening in my neck of the woods?

I'm going to unleash all the negative things first.
If this bothers you, leave now and go to the Meditation Channel.

My health issues have become so alarming that I'm genuinely concerned (i.e. scared crapless). My spinal issues are not only impeding my ability to walk, but also effecting my coordination. At times I can hardly hold a pencil.

I fell in the bedroom the other morning and couldn't get up. As I desperately crawled painfully around on the floor, my cat Bosco came over to me and puked. Can it get any worse than that?

God is laughing His arse off at the punishments He's inflicting on me.
Don't doubt it.

I get crushing pains in my chest and alarming shortness of breath. My heartbeat is incredibly irregular.

I have aural migraines every day - the wicked kind that drastically effect my vision. I blame it on stress and computer eye strain.

Was that enough? I'll save the rest for another time.

How about going to a doctor, Jon?

I'm in the boonies, boys and girls. Doctors are 100 miles away. Besides, I know far too many people who are hopelessly addicted to doctors. I have no desire to spend all my time with appointments, unnecessary medications, and surgery.

If this offends anyone, sorry. I'm merely giving my truthful opinion. Many people truly need doctors due to serious on-going medical conditions.....but many others just go due to a psychological addiction.

This rural abode is infested with mice. Raccoons are nesting in the roof. Possums dwell under the house. Viciously aggressive bees are residing on the back and front porches. Every time I open a door, they try to get in.

It rains every day - and I mean EVERY day. The brush, weeds, and thorny shrubs are five feet high - at least. I'm planning to buy a good brush cutter and (perhaps) chain saw.

My laptop computer is now nine years old and falling apart (much like myself). I'm considering buying a new one next month (when I get some more money).

Due to my health problems, and the fact that my car is falling apart (like the laptop and myself), I've decided to (temporarily??) give up driving.
I am THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED with driving a zillion miles on dangerous mountain roads to go to town. To hell with it.

For the past few months I've been having all my food and supplies delivered. I'm able to get just about everything I need - and most of the shipping is free. 
I get most of my things from Walmart, Wild Fork Foods, Purdue Farms, Shisler Cheese Factory, and a few other places.

At first it was impossible to get milk, but now I buy UHT milk. It's expensive, but worth the price.
Never heard of it?
UHT milk goes through a radical (high-heat) pasteurization process, which makes it much more durable than regular supermarket milk.UHT milk can be kept up to three months without refrigeration. When it's finally opened, it has to be refrigerated.
I think it tastes far better than supermarket milk.

I've decided to abandon my usual Spartan starvation "diet". I am presently buying a lot of food...and sparing no expense. Hell, it's about all I have left to enjoy.......

Photos, anyone?

A glimpse of the back "yard"

Front "yard" this morning

UHT milk

My dinner today - Argentine sausage with onions and red, yellow, and green peppers. It tastes better than it looks.

Hopeless addiction

I'll admit it - - I am hopelessly addicted to green salad olives.......

Well, I've said enough for now.
Until later,    Jon

MAY, WHERE ARE YOU?

I awoke this morning to the foreboding sound of howling winds. The fragile windows rattled in its wake and an unseasonable cold chill penetrated my vulnerable bedroom.

I shivered under the covers, snuggling closer to my cat Bosco, and wondered "Where is May?"

I was shivering last November in this rural Tennessee purgatory and - nearly half a year later - I'm still shivering.
Does the cursed cold ever end?
Will I perhaps begin to thaw out in July? August, maybe?

The eternal cold is the very least of my problems - the ugly bulk of which would taint the fabricated purity of this blog. I'm desperately depressed and hanging on by a slender thread, more fragile than a disconsolate spider's web.

Despite battling insurmountable obstacles, I still have an admirably uncanny way with words.
And if you dig deeply enough through the mire, you'll find my irresistible charm.

Photos taken this First Day of May:

Grim view of my front "yard", taken from the porch

An eternal sea of weeds, thorns, and some sort of blossoms.

On a brighter side
(and not a moment too soon)

Photos of my back "yard" taken last week on a rare sunny day.

BTW -

Thank you to the four people who liked my piano video in my previous post. You have incredibly good taste and can recognize a genius when you see one.

Am I being bitterly sarcastic?
Naw, I wouldn't even think of it.......

                                     Cheers, Jon

BLOSSOMS TIMIDLY APPEAR

After a seemingly endless onslaught of cold weather, it's slowly beginning to warm up - - although it's still in the chilly 30s (Fahrenheit) at night. 

On Easter morning - as if by some Divine miracle - spring blossoms began to appear. Much of the rural terrain around my house has been ravaged (and ruined) by vicious storms and violent winds - with toppled trees and wayward branches. Nothing is like it used to be, but the appearance of blossoms are a timid sign of hope.

Speaking of "hope", I have some (timid) updates concerning my previous Easter Disaster post. Walmart gave me a refund for the recent items that I ordered but never received.

I got a quick reply from Wild Fork Foods, concerning the wrong order that I received (which ruined my plans for an Easter dinner). They requested to see a photograph of the erroneous items I received - - and I complied immediately. Hopefully, they will resolve this annoying issue.

Despite this smidgen of good news, I'm still extremely depressed, frustrated, overwhelmingly tired, and in deplorable health.
But I'm delighted that winter is finally gone.

A few photos taken on Easter.

 

FRUHLINGSRAUSCHEN

I post this video every year at the arrival of spring. You're probably tired of seeing it - - but just pretend that you're delighted. 

Fruhlingsrauschen

Rustle of Spring, op.32 no.3 by Norwegian composer Christian Sinding (1856 - 1941).

I recorded this video in San Angelo, Texas during a brutally hot summer when the temperature was over 110 degrees (Fahrenheit). Apologies for the terrible audio quality.

Today, here in rural Tennessee, the weather is freezing and spring is nowhere in sight. The temperature dropped to 13 degrees (Fahrenheit) last night with heavy frost.

Warmer temperatures are predicted by the end of this week
Should I try to believe it??

Wherever you are - - - welcome to spring!

 

SPRING, WHERE ARE YOU ???

 

I've said this many times before, but I'll say it again:
If I ever knew Tennessee had six month winters with ice floes and penguins I would never ever moved here.

It's two days before the arrival of spring and I'm entombed in Arctic temperatures and freezing my tootsies off. My house is more frigid than a polar bear's hug (I just made that up) and I'm presently (desperately) trying to repair three (yes, three) water pipes that were frozen and damaged during the last blizzard.

This is beyond endurance.
(ironically, The Endurance was the name of Shackleton's ship).
I'm unbearably amusing even when I'm at the point of a nervous breakdown and impending extinction.

15 degrees (Fahrenheit) tomorrow night

Despite the absolute absence of spring and warmth, I'm (rather reluctantly) posting my Ode to Spring video - - in which I perform Mendelssohn with enhancing visuals of spring.

I have no doubt that this will charm you into oblivion.

                                                  Jon

                                                  freezing

video best viewed full-screen

THE LION ROARS

The first day of March was a balmy 80 degrees and gentle as a lamb. 

Two days later - Friday the 3rd - a restless lion appeared out of nowhere and roared like the devil.

My area of rural Tennessee was pummeled by the wrath of nature. A high wind warning was in effect all day (70 M.P.H. "gusts") and a severe storm warning, accompanied with a tornado watch. There were four power outages - - fairly brief in duration but annoying, nevertheless.

The day was foul, furious, and dangerous. The raging wind toppled several nearby forest trees. This perpetuated my foremost fear. The fragile shack that I live in is surrounded by tall trees. If any of them fell on my "house", it would be completely pulverized and I........would be toast.

The wind warning was supposed to subside by sunset, but raged on for several more hours. I couldn't breath a feeble sigh of relief until things calmed down by midnight.

My energy was completely sapped. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep. unfortunately, the insolent indoor mice and strange animals scurrying on the roof kept waking me up all night.

This rural life in squalor has completely destroyed me. I'm still plagued by multitudinous problems, but have decided not to detail them in my blog posts. What's the use? My blog readership has dwindled from approximately 800 "views" a day to a recent 95 views a day.

Well;, at least a few kind souls still visit my blog to see if I'm still alive.

I keep trying to convince myself that I'm still kicking.

My previous post - all about tea - was probably boring, but at least it wasn't tainted with my complaints.

Anyway, thanks for being here. I'll try to make my future posts complaint-free (not an easy endeavor.....)

                            Jon

The storm clouds, finally subsiding near dusk

 

IMPENDING OBLITERATION

As if I didn't have enough problems, a Doomsday pronouncement hit me today like a dozen tons of bricks.

A major Arctic blast is predicted to hit this area of Tennessee on Thursday night. The temperature on Thursday night is predicted to be minus 6 degrees (Fahrenheit) - -  six degrees below zero.
The daytime "high" is supposed to be 2 degrees (Fahrenheit) on Friday. TWO degrees.

That probably doesn't sound too bad for those of you penguins living in the North Pole - - but here in Tennessee it's extraordinary. This is supposed to be a mild, southern state.

Current forecast:

Daytime high 2 degrees on Friday, 12 degrees on Christmas Eve.

Wind chills predicted to be minus 15.

I've been through an enormous amount of bad and dangerous times in my life. I generally don't scare easily.
This impending cold front is admittedly terrifying me. I'm truly afraid that I won't survive. This flimsy shack that I'm living in isn't made for Arctic weather. It's unbearably cold on a mild day. I can't even imagine what it will be like when the temp drops below zero.

The furnace isn't working. I'm presently relying on a few space heaters.
I can't escape. My car battery is dead. I was (foolishly?) waiting until after Christmas to order a new one.

If there is a power outage (which happens frequently in cold weather) I have no chance of surviving.

I'm frantically trying to prepare the house for the impending cold, but there isn't really much that I can do. Fix drafty cracks. Close off all the rooms.

This morning I was trying to get a large space heater that was stored away on a high shelf. It was nearly impossible to reach. As I was on my tiptoes in a desperate attempt to coerce it, the heavy box fell with a direct hit on my head. I really thought I had a concussion.

On the bright (?) side, some of the supplies that I ordered were delivered today. The rest will come tomorrow.

But who cares about supplies when you're terrified about freezing to death?

I'll keep writing updates as long as I'm able to.

Jon

BLEAK DREAMSCAPE

Wicked winds stripped the trees of their autumnal glory and left them naked and shivering in astonished disbelief.

Last week was mild and balmy - in the 70s (Fahrenheit) with blessed bursts of golden sunshine. Then, on Friday (yesterday) the rains came and drenched every semblance of hope. Last night the temperature dropped drastically. I bundled up in bed in a cocoon of blankets and Bosco joined me. 

A restless pack of roaming coyotes shrieked and howled outside the window. Later, the sleepless owls sung a post-midnight lament.

Somewhere between dreams and dawn, loud gunshots woke me up.
Hunters?
Or bloodthirsty intruders? 
Heck. Who knows.

Today (Saturday, I think) it's raw, misty, and cold. Presently in mid-afternoon it's 33 degrees (Fahrenheit).

My supplies are getting very low. I desperately need to make the long journey to town, but - - with no word of exaggeration - - I'd rather starve to death than go. I have so very many physical ailments that I no longer care about anything. This isolated sojourn in the wilderness will eventually kill me.
And nobody cares.......

I'm presently out of milk, bread, eggs, onions, potatoes, and all frozen food - but I'm making due with what I have. I've got plenty of evaporated milk, which I love.

Been cooking and baking a lot. Last night I made biscuits from scratch. Today I ate them with butter and blueberry jam. And tea, of course.

Within the past week I baked bread, cranberry bread, and cookies.

I found a can of oysters, so I made an oyster stew. Later I found a can of chicken meat, which made a wonderful soup with corn and noodles. Canned chicken meat is expensive, but I thought it was surprisingly good.

I'll be ordering supplies from Walmart, as usual. They usually ship within two days. Unfortunately FedEx delivered my last two orders to the wrong address - - I had to contact them and explain exactly where I'm located.

This place is so remote that I doubt if even God could find it.

I stumbled outside today and took a few photos from the safety of the front and back porches.

The golden autumn leaves are gone. 
Only a damp, misty, sullen forest dreamscape exists.

The dreary, dismal front "yard"
(is it a yard?? I wonder.....)

Now that the trees are bare, the surrounding hills can be seen.

The bleak back "yard", where trees were ravaged and toppled from storms.

Notice a few colored leaves in the lower part of the photo.

Cold sunset

Cheers, Jon

SWEPT AWAY

 October is being swept away by impudent winds and the persistence of time.
Only a week ago rural Tennessee was shivering with unseasonably cold temperatures. Things warmed up this past weekend and October basked in the embrace of timid sunshine and golden autumnal glory.

This week wicked winds snaked in, rudely stripping leaves from trees and causing the forest to tremble. Last night a persistent rain baptized the countryside and the temperature dropped with a chilly embrace.

Today (is it Wednesday?) it's cloudy, dreary and only 40 degrees (Fahrenheit). October is waning. Ghosts of Halloween are whispering with the breezes that ripple through the half-naked trees.

I wanted to walk again in the woods and take a few more final pictures today, but I feel very tired and unmotivated.
So - instead of venturing out - I'll indulge in a cup of hot tea and share some photos that I took a few days ago.

By the way - yesterday I accidentally dropped my ancient El Cheapo digital camera on the kitchen floor and it shattered in various pieces.

I carefully (painstakingly) managed to reassemble it and - miracle!!! - it's still working! I couldn't believe it.

Here are some photos taken last Sunday (23rd)

It was a glorious day - warm and inspiring

By Monday (24th) the winds came, the weather changed, and the foliage was becoming less brilliant and more scarce. 

The following pictures were taken in my front "yard".

And here is a glimpse of the back "yard"
I use the word "yard" tongue-in-cheek. It's a monster forest.

       

 

The dwindling days of October make me sad, nostalgic, introspective, yearning -, -
I want to grasp this month and hold onto it forever.

                  Cheers, Jon