HOMAGE TO AUTUMN

 

One of my obsessive habits. I post my video,  Homage to Autumn, every year at the end of autumn. It exemplifies the deepest feelings buried in my soul.

When autumn wanes, I grasp at it fiercely - - never wanting to let go, nor wanting to say goodbye. I am transfixed, bewitched by its haunting beauty - - like the ghost of a long lost lover.

When I made this video, there was no doubt what music I would use.....

the andante from the Piano Concerto no.2  op.102, by the Russian composer Dmitri Shostakovich (1906 - 1975).

It is steeped in exquisitely haunting beauty which echoes the essence of my soul: a deep sense of melancholia enmeshed with  sentimentality.

The irony is that I never liked the music of Shostakovich. It wasn't until I first heard this andante, and became convinced that it's one of the most beautiful compositions ever written.

The somber introduction is about a minute long. In my video, I portrayed it with images of misty dawn.

When the piano begins, I add moving visuals.

Towards the end of the andante, the music seems to convey a persistent sense of yearning - - the reluctance to let autumn go......

Note-

Dmitri Shostakovich composed this concerto in 1957 and dedicated it to his son Maxim for his nineteenth birthday.

The recording that I used for this video:

Maxim Shostakovich is the pianist and his father Dmitri is the conductor.

The Musici de Montreal orchestra.

Dmitri Shostakovich with his cat

Jon  ❤️

All sensitive, brilliant people love cats.

Video best viewed full screen

with full volume

(sorry, no updates on Sunday)

 

ONLY A DREAM

 

It was only a dream and it has vanished. My favorite season, favorite month, my desperate yearning to see my rural home and beautiful property.

Perchance of a dream.

"We dare not go ashore lest perchance we should fall into some snare."

Old English saying, old French? I remember that from vague childhood.

Of course, there are no happy endings. I've said that...many times.

A very serious back/spinal flare up has prevented me from my plans for escape. My left leg is completely swollen, I am in severe pain. I'm getting such excruciating spasms that I scream in absolute agony. No exaggeration.

Nurses are consulting doctors for.....more meds. Probably muscle "relaxers." Shall I laugh? You can see my bitterly sweet smile.

 Ironically, when I came in here several months ago I had the exact problem with my right leg. Now that's gone to the left. Bitter irony exists.

But, wait! Perhaps I can conquer the struggle and.....survive....??

I'm remembering....

The little choo-choo that said....I can......I think I can........

It's Halloween! We should celebrate! I can only offer my (paltry imaginative) visions of this season. My mind is muddled with vicious medications that I'm being plied with. Who knows how this post will materialize. ???

Jon 🤎 timidly hopeful

Don't be afraid to comment. Thanks to a recent big Blogger glitch, I still can't reply to them. My attempted replies keep mysteriously vanishing.

You, of course, keep me going with your thoughts and encouragement. 

You might not know this -  because my brutal sarcasm sometimes gets in the way - -but I cherish you for your opinions and thoughtfulness. 

I made several of these and didn't know which to choose.

The guy in the middle is demanding for treats - - perhaps a little catnip candy......or tuna....

Puppies love Halloween, too, but look sad and hate to see it go....

Intriguing witches cast midnight spells to enchant the red foxes.

These wolf pictures are my favorites (I made about a dozen versions)- - recently edited these to make them brighter, but my effort made them more gaudy I think (??)

.....and Halloween is (regrettably) winding down like a wayward clock. . I have a passion for Halloween clocks....Paranormal John gave me the incentive.....

Getting acquainted with the rambunctious  geese...

....and other autumnal wild life

Getting acquainted under the Harvest Moon.....don't shudder....anything can happen under the spell of an autumn moon

Goddess of Autumn

Some sheep being soothed by a shepherd boy's flute

Mellow, nostalgic, intoxicating days.....

Surrealistic, uncertain nights...

Things you might find on unknown paths

To the depth of unwanted dreams......

This post is definitely too long, but autumn is never too long.

It could last as a priceless eternal memory

almost a dream

almost

THE THRESHOLD OF AUTUMN

 

Note

I wrote this post on Saturday, two days ago, and removed it solely because I was in an extremely rotten mood. I decided to post it again today (Monday). Comments are disabled for this post today, because I accidentally deleted your previous comments on Saturday while I was messing around with the settings on Comment Moderation.

I will write an update on my hemorrhaging arm after I talk to my wound care doctor when she comes tomorrow.     Jon

Not in the mood to expound today. Autumn is here, but it will pass too quickly like all good things.

I was cautiously optimistic last week, with five days of radiation therapy. It was really wonderful to get out of physical therapy prison and actually see the real world every day of the week.

On Friday (yesterday) we left very early, before dawn. The driver had to pick up Martha, the nurse. Then we had to bring a very elderly woman with us to Cookeville. She was in her 90s.

With my myopic eyes (still don't have any glasses) I watched the sunrise out the window. Always a great soothing treasure to behold.

Cookeville Medical Center was extremely busy Friday. After radiation, had to wait a very long time to see a doctor. My oncologist wasn't there so I saw another doctor. He said if the bleeding doesn't stop, we can call and they will arrange more radiation.

Very early this morning (here back at Signature) while two nurses were doing my routine wound care, the bleeding started again. My minimal optimism vanished.

Did the radiation fail to work........or does it take a few more days? This is ruining my initial plans. 

I can't keep waiting around for a miracle.

I can't go home with a hemorrhaging arm. I can't spend the rest of my life getting radiation.

I curse the ##@**##@* FOOL who botched my biopsy last April. If she didn't hit an artery I wouldn't be in this helluva mess. I've suffered enough.

Let's change the subject.

Instead of bombarding you with my seemingly endless AI (artificial intelligence) images, I'll plague you with my real genuine photos. You've probably seen most of them.......but don't complain. They're worth seeing again.

I bought this place in October, 2014 - - eleven years ago. My objective was to live in a rural area, with privacy and peace.  Rural living has complications and assorted unexpected compromises - - but I have no regrets.

The previous owners were the King family, whose ancestors lived around here for untold generations. This is known as King Mountain. 

Two acres at the edge of the forest. In fact, the forest begins only about a few yards from my bedroom.

These photos were taken on my property last year and the year before. And I'm not going to be coy.

I'm glad the place is mine.

The top photo is one of my favorites. The colors are beautiful.

The narrow road winding past my property.

A brief glimpse of the gravel driveway leading into the place.

My car by the garage. I no longer drive now - - with no regrets.

A haphazard glimpse of the cow/cattle pasture, at the edge of my property.

My neighbors and the extended pasture, photos taken several years ago.

The side of my tiny humble home.

Trees, a few feet from my bedroom.

Tree in back "yard"

Front porch

Front "yard"

Back yard woods

Morning fog

Sunset over front yard

Jon ❤️ home is where the heart is....

GOLDEN GLIMPSES OF AUTUMN

Of course you want to hear updates. An afternoon visit to Cookeville Medical Center today. A COLD ride in a rambling ambulance. Why do they leave the air condition blasting when it's 70 degrees outside?

Arrived on time at the radiation department (believe me, I remember the ordeal of going there for seven weeks in 2023 - every one remembered me).

Today they put me on the most uncomfortable hard rack (rack of TORTURE). My back and spine hurt so bad I almost screamed. Measured the bandaged wound, took photos/xrays (whatever), made black magic markings all over my flesh.

Radiation treatments start next Monday (22nd) and will continue for five days. The cancerous "wound" will shrink and bleeding should stop.

I'm not expecting miracles, but........

And now, boys and girls, my random glimpses of autumn.

Don't groan - - - I know 90% of you loathe my A.I. (artificial intelligence) creations....fake.

Hey, here's a FLASH!!!

The movies you watch are fake, the novels you read are fake, the news you watch is often fake, the makeup you wear is fake, half of the food you eat is fake.......

Welcome to the Glorious World of Fictitious!

Okay.....

A long time ago, when I was fifteen, I bought a book of American art. There was one painting in there, called "My Parents." I don't remember the artist but it had a great impact on me. The picture depicted an elderly couple in an autumnal forest. They seemed to be at the end of a path - -  Somehow it filled me with a pang of overwhelming sadness.....and deep melancholy.

At that time in my life, I didn't want to realize there is an eventual.....end......

I tried to recreate the painting using A.I. but with very little success.

Another creation, Faded Chords, with myself perhaps in mind......

Hungry Trio. Perhaps a lighthearted moment? I made about eight of these mice pictures....some more devious than others. Mice are destructive!

The red fox was sleeping in all of my pics, but here he woke up.

The Apple Lovers. Think what you like......

Turkey Time. I made the pic this morning. One of my friends in northern Calif. is presently overrun by wild turkeys. She inspired me.

Awakening Crows. Did I previously post this? Can't remember....but crows are autumnal.

Puppy Love. Well, doggos love autumn, too.

Perhaps? Autumn can be spooky. Is she lamenting a lost lover.....or perhaps glad she got rid of one.....

Under the Harvest Moon. There are romantic autumn nights, which I remember....

Are you getting bored?? Heck my annoying imagination, with unnecessary dots......

Deep in the Forest. This could be the witch's house.

Unleashed at sunset. Have you ever lived near bats? A great chorus of squeaking.

Remembering long ago

 .....is nourishment to feed our soul.

Pretty Kitty. Sometimes these feline pics look so real.

Thanks for enduring me.

Jon 🧡 autumnal obsession

Jane from TN - - I just got your thoughtful card. 💚 😸

P.S. did anybody notice I keep spelling "intelligence" wrong??