THE LONG ROAD HOME

I honestly don't know where to begin. This past grueling week seemed like a thousand years.

I want to write a lot, but my right arm is numb and very  painful, with my healing wound and two savage ports.

I've been here at Cookeville Medical Center for a completely horrifying week. The things I went through were beyond a nightmare.

Well, they just rudely interrupted me by putting two ports in my left arm. They draw blood several times a day. Now both arms are painful.

Well....

I left Hospice last Friday (21st), which meant that I was kicked out of Signature Health Care. Tennessee Carriers were supposed to show up at 1:00. They never did. They were supposed to come at 2:00. Never did.

An ambulance came after 3:00. All the antique purchases I had were left at Signature. Praying they are sent home.

Arrived at home at nearly 4:00. An extremely dark, bleak, damp, ugly day, nearly getting dark.

My property was in pristine shape, mowed and maintained. I assumed the Latino guys (who always did it) did this work.

I could see that the power was on...the porch light worked.

Then the horror began

When they tried to get me out of the ambulance, I discovered that my legs were paralyzed and I couldn't bend my knees at all. I absolutely couldn't get into the house.

I decided to go to Cookeville and see what the heck was happening. The insanity begins.

Inexplicably, they put me on a liquid diet for three days. Nobody knew why. My complaints put me on a regular diet.

They just came in and took more blood! No, I'm not jesting. Vampires!

I had horrifying tests all week.

Three CT scans. A PET scan. The absolute WORST is the MRI scan. Lasts two hours!

I have been in excrutiating pain all week. They don't give pain meds here (!!!). You have to call up and order it (!!!!!)

The scans cause the WORST pain. You have to lay still on a table hard as glass.

Laying on glass perfectly still with unbelievable pain for TWO HOURS.....in a tunnel that's so small your nose touches the roof!! NO, I am not exaggerating. It was such torture that I was eventually crying.

I haven't cried since my parents died. And when my cats died. 

Visuals

The CT (cat) scan

The PET scan

The MRI scan. In excrutiating pain, lying perfectly still for TWO HOURS in this tunnel. And you have to wear ear plugs because of the loud noise of the machine.

I would choose death rather than this. I cry just thinking of it.

I'll try to speed it up.

I have four doctors. Two East Indian (hard to decipher their accents). A very tall white dude.

A female doctor so crude and condescending, she could be the Dragon Lady's evil sister.

My social worker here is perfect. She is trying to get everything ready so I can go home soon. She knows exactly what I need and want.

That's it for now.

Jon ❤️ trying to cope

Trying